I am so behind on this thread.
Tantrums and removing yourself, my cousin was about 2, so I was 8ish, my mom babysat him. She had taken us to the park to play, but it was time to go. He threw himself down in the parking lot and had a tantrum. I was so shocked when my mom just calmly walked away. (Quiet parking lot and she was close enough if a car did come in.) It stuck vividly in my head. The first time I ever used this trick? Whistler's brother was 6, when we were dating, he started to throw a tantrum in Kmart, it so worked. This is what I used on the kids. One of them, would get up and follow me and throw themselves at my feet again. I never said a word, I just calmly walked away again.
Fighting over a toy? G and B are 16 months apart, N and A are 3 years apart, with a 5 year gap between B and N. I just never wanted to figure out who had what and when, the toy got taken away and went into the tool jail (basket on top of a bookcase they couldn't reach). It worked very well with G and B, there were times with N and A, where one of them would start a fight to get the toy taken from the other. Which if it was clear, got the offending party in trouble.
The nieces and nephews all know Auntie C and Uncle Whistler have much stricter rules than any of their homes. They all LOVE to spend time at Auntie and Uncles, so that says something. Our kids know if they break one of our rules (more the saftey rules) while at another home, they are still in trouble. Usually grounded from that cousin's home. One nephew climbed in my front passenger seat right after he turned 13 with the cutest kind of smug look on his face (his parents let the kids sit in the front with airbags), I knew what he was doing so I let the smug look slide, and just winked at him.
Fit throwing. G was a fit thrower, she would get herself so worked up she couldn't calm herself down a few times. We resorted to placing her in the tub and pouring tepid (not cold, not hot) water over her head, careful that we weren't throwing it in her face. It was the only thing that worked when she got that upset. The last time she was about 4 1/2 and was mad at her bff for putting the coat that went on the Dwarves, so they could dance with Snow White, onto a Barbie. It didn't belong there. ETA: She was also my logic based child, if she had a why for a rule, she followed it to the letter. Hold mom's hand in the street, so not get run over, ok.
ADK we count, with a stated consequence at the end. It usually works quite well, because the kids have to find a compromise that works, they also have to know that your compromise, they won't like.
Disneyredhead, I see where you are coming from. Our school is very good about the discipline being at school, with a notification to the parent. If it is something that warrants additional discipline at home, they leave it to the parent. Usually, at least for us, it just needs additional dialog at home. Quite honesty, a good number of parents won't follow up at home, so I don't understand why they would dictate his home punishment.
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