"My two cents" from a first-time father of a nearly 2-year-old toddler with two brothers almost 20 years younger (read: my daughter is actually my third child).
- Behavior of non-Adults 5 and younger is extremely variable. Though it does not excuse the lack of it, no amount of planning or training can guarantee a particular outcome on a particular night.
- My strategy with said age group is, if they can stand sitting in the stroller/high chair for long enough for me to eat in a fine dining unit, I go for it as long as the going's good. When It's Over, It's Over. If it's a bad night, even if I have reservations, try again another time--they'll be here! Hey, the Disney fine dining units aren't going to disappear anytime soon, and my daughter is only going to get older.
- I don't expect a 3 hour dinner; sometimes I get 40 minutes, sometimes I get 90, and I stay ready to call it a night at any time. I only go to units that can accommodate this (go straight to main courses, willing to fire kid's menu on seating), at the times they can accommodate this (at opening, after dinner rush). I ask questions and set expectations when I check in at the restaurant, and if it's a bad fit, I give it a bye.
- I bring my own backup food (cheese sticks, snacks, favorites) and equipment (plastic forks/spoons/sippy cups) in case the menu doesn't work out or the kitchen is backed up.
- Maybe it's because I grew up in "the business", but when it's me and my daughter, I leave a 20-25% tip, with as much in cash as possible.
- The Disney resorts are, last I checked, principally family-oriented resorts, defined as having appeal for ages from birth to infinity. Though there are more Adult-oriented opportunities offered by Disney, it's ridiculous to ignore this fundamental principle. Futhermore, the great bulk of resorts around the world are Adult-oriented; if you can't deal with family-orientation, go somewhere else. Si fueris Rōmae, Rōmānō vīvitō mōre; si fueris alibī, vīvitō sicut ibi.
- DDP is positively THE WORST THING for fine dining and families with small children, because it takes away all of your flexibility. Dining with a toddler is guerilla warfare, and DDP wants you to stand there, load, and fire to the beat of their drum. I will never, never, never take DDP until my kid(s) are all, say, 7 or 8 years old.
My daughter has been with us to fine dining units about 20 or 30 times since she was born. It's never easy, but it's nice to have a taste of fine dining that was clearly easier to accomplish before we had her, and we'll be back to 3 hour seven-course dinners someday.
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