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View Full Version : Skipper Stand Up: THANK YOU!



herta28
08-21-2006, 08:35 PM
Big thanks to those who attended this event last night and supported the Skippers! The place was packed! Special thanks to David Koenig for his article on the event last week. Keep an eye on www.maverickstandup.com for Skipper Stand Up 3.

swcrazy
08-21-2006, 11:16 PM
My hubby and I had a lot of fun. I'd love to see those videos again. Are they posted on youtube.com or anywhere else?

potzbie
08-21-2006, 11:52 PM
I want to add new jokes to the spiel of JUNGLE CRUISE!

Here are some freebies, from me to you, gratis!
(At least, I think they are new.)

*****

<< Leaving dock >>

"Hang on! Jump to light speed! Off to Endor!"

*****

<< Safety spiel >>

"Please keep hands and arms inside the boat at all times. Feet and legs are otherwise okay to dangle."

*****

<< Bengal tiger scene >>

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."

or

(Singing downward scale, like the commercial for "Meow-Mix".)
"Meow-meow-meow-meow. Meow-meow-meow-meow ..."

*****

<< Spider on its web >>

"Spiders are not poisonous. But they are venomous. So, they are okay to eat, if they don't eat you first."

*****

<< The river bank where there is nothing there but jungle underbrush >>

"Here on the left bank there's a tribal village -- wait! -- It's gone! A whole village! Gone! It was here last time! Where'd everybody go?"

*****

<< Lost safari, on pole, with rhinoceros preventing escape >>

(To lost safari:) "Yo! Colonel! Do you need any help?"
(Aside to passengers:) "When we get back, we'll tell the next skipper to bring Rhino repellant."

*****

<< Piranha white water >>

"They say a school of piranha can strip the flesh off a 170 pound man in 60 seconds. But it's not recommended."

*****

<< Trader Sam, the headhunter-tradesman >>

"That's Trader Sam. In his right hand, he is holding the head of Trader Vic.

or

"That's Trader Sam. In his right hand, he is holding the head of skipper Bruce, who was voted in 2006, Jungle Cruise Skipper Least Likely To Succeed. -- At least Bruce's head is good for something."

or

"Hi, Sam. You're looking good today. Been working out?"

*****

(This joke is best if the two dock "helpers" are male-female or better, female-female.)

<< When approaching the dock >>

"You will be helped out of the boat by my brother Darryl, and my other brother, Darryl."

*****

(Joke written from male viewpoint; swap names if female skipper.)

<< When doing the closing spiel before dock unloading >>

"If you enjoyed your cruise, remember, I was your skipper, David. If you didn't enjoy your cruise, then I was your skipper, Nancy."

*****

herta28
08-22-2006, 05:52 AM
I want to add new jokes to the spiel of JUNGLE CRUISE!

Here are some freebies, from me to you, gratis!
(At least, I think they are new.)

(Lots of jokes edited for space)


Most of those are very useable. Nice work! The ones that would get denied would be the ones referencing other attractions (ruins the "show"), references to products (the meow-mix one), or altering the safety spiel in any way (for obvious reasons).

The real question is...can you handle a gun? ;)

RStar
08-22-2006, 06:01 AM
But I've heard them reference small world on a few rides.

I'd love to see this show next time!

David Koenig
08-22-2006, 08:17 AM
The show was hysterical, especially for Disneyland cast members and regular guests. It was difficult to believe that most of these guys had never done stand-up before. The acts were overwhelmingly clean, positive (except toward Knott's), and even included a couple of references to MousePlanet!
I also learned of a few new skippers to look forward hearing on future trips through the Jungle.
I highly recommend everyone attend the next show (probably in November), but (1) get your tickets early and (2) hope they find room for more seats! Those showing up late may end up sitting on a skipper's lap...