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aricbell
04-29-2006, 11:03 PM
I heard this one today from a CM:

Q: How many rides are at Disneyland Resort?

A: 1. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. The rest are considered "attractions".:geek:

animagusurreal
04-30-2006, 12:38 AM
This isn't actually from the DLR, I made it up - but tram drivers, feel free to use it :)

"Welcome aboard the world famous Disneyland Resort tram. This attraction is based, of course, on Disney's 1955 classic...Lady and the Tram."

Wah-wah-wah...:fez:

Opus1guy
04-30-2006, 05:29 AM
"Welcome aboard the world famous Disneyland Resort tram. This attraction is based, of course, on Disney's 1955 classic...Lady and the Tram."

Wah-wah-wah...:fez:

That's a good one. :)

And you can add this standard to your tram spiel:

"As you exit the tram, lower your head and watch your step. If you should hit your head, lower your voice and watch your language."

:)

RStar
04-30-2006, 07:32 AM
This on I saw as a comic strip some time back:

Man:...and there I was face to face with the biggest, ugliest rat I ever saw!

Kid: what did you do?

Man: I grabbed the closest thing...my camera... and started hitting it over the head!

Kid: did you kill it?

Man: no, but I'm not allowed in Disneyland anymore.

It's funnier in the comic, and if you are not expecting Disneyland at the end like you are here. But I thought it was real funny when I first saw it.

~Bob

MermaidHair
04-30-2006, 08:07 AM
I have had this Rhymes with Orange strip (http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/home.php?date=20050530) on my refridgerator for almost a year and it still cracks me up!

tod
04-30-2006, 08:14 AM
This on I saw as a comic strip some time back:

Man:...and there I was face to face with the biggest, ugliest rat I ever saw!

Kid: what did you do?

Man: I grabbed the closest thing...my camera... and started hitting it over the head!

Kid: did you kill it?

Man: no, but I'm not allowed in Disneyland anymore.

It's funnier in the comic, and if you are not expecting Disneyland at the end like you are here. But I thought it was real funny when I first saw it.

I heard one like that once. The punch line was "We can never go to '21' again."

--t

potzbie
04-30-2006, 11:21 AM
One Jungle Cruise gag.
***
"As we near the end of our journey, I hope you had a wonderful time.
If your experience was pleasurable, remember, you've been on the world famous Jungle Cruise, and your skipper was Captain Mike.
And if your experience has been lousy, then this is the world famous It's A Small World, and your skipper was Captain Sheila."
***

Opus1guy
04-30-2006, 11:25 AM
This on I saw as a comic strip some time back...

And...


I have had this Rhymes with Orange strip on my refridgerator...

Here's a comic strip I just happened to post yesterday in another forum:

http://members.aol.com/opus1guy/uploads/disdesphousewives.jpg

And another one most Disneyland visitors can relate to:

http://members.aol.com/opus1guy/uploads/thistall.jpg

And...

http://members.aol.com/opus1guy/uploads/dyingtogotoDL.gif

:)

Dexter
04-30-2006, 03:16 PM
I heard there's a parking lot under Disney's California Adventure.

twist1980
04-30-2006, 04:16 PM
Opus1guy and Mermaidhair, those comic strips are awesome! I love the Disney Desperate Housewives one! lol! :p

Great thread idea!

disneyjunkie
04-30-2006, 07:15 PM
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland as the approached they saw a sign saying " Disneyland Left " they turned around and went home.

animagusurreal
05-01-2006, 04:07 AM
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland as the approached they saw a sign saying " Disneyland Left " they turned around and went home.

Hehe...


That reminds me of something that my Grandmother really said when she, my mother and I were driving down the freeway to Disneyland for the first time, (when I was a kid.)

We passed a "Park & Ride" sign, and she said,

"Oh, there it is - park and ride."

Because Disneyland is a park, with rides.

And I'm fairly certain she was serious :)

BQ2
05-01-2006, 05:23 AM
Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants when he played golf ?

In case he got a hole in one!

DaddyB
05-01-2006, 08:15 AM
Aren't there some really corny ones that the Mad Hatter and Farley the Fiddler tell?

I wish I could remember just one of them. Right there on the tip of my tongue....

MermaidHair
05-01-2006, 05:56 PM
Opus1guy - thanks for the links - Classic comics all!

DaddyB
05-01-2006, 09:23 PM
HERE'S A COUPLE I WAS THINKING ABOUT...
(What would I do without the missus to remember things for me??)


Q: Why do you see Snow White waiting outside the camera store on Main Street?
A: She been told "Some day her prints will come!"



Q:Why won't they let Cinderella play sports?
A: Because she always runs away from the ball.


Q:Why can't Pinocchio's nose be 12" long?
A: Because then it would be a foot.

There's one about Peter Pan not flying, or something, but we just can't remember that one...

ThomasCanty
05-01-2006, 11:30 PM
There's one about Peter Pan not flying, or something, but we just can't remember that one...

Q. Why do no planes land where Peter Pan lives?
A. Because there's a sign there that says "Never Neverland".

Billy Hill and the Hillbillies like to tell that one and the second one you posted.

snowsbeau
05-02-2006, 06:20 AM
Q: Why was Snow White elected a judge of MousePlanet's MouseAdventure?
A: Because she is the fairest in the land!

A slight variation of a joke I told as a child.

Q: What is a Scottish child's favorite story?
A: A "lass" in Wonderland.

iwannabeanimagineer
05-02-2006, 12:19 PM
A joke they never tell on the Jungle Cruise, but they should:

A kid in my last crew said he spotted a leopard here. But I'm pretty sure the leopard was born spotted.

cindyland
05-02-2006, 07:13 PM
Why does Tigger bounce around the 1000-acre wood?

He doesn't want to step on Pooh...

My kids loved it!!


....but I'm hoping there are some new jokes in July!

Sosai X
05-02-2006, 10:52 PM
Why was Mr. Spock afraid to mind-meld with Disneyland?

Because he saw Innoventions, and was afraid it would kill him!

DaddyB
05-02-2006, 10:57 PM
Q. Why do no planes land where Peter Pan lives?
A. Because there's a sign there that says "Never Neverland".

Billy Hill and the Hillbillies like to tell that one and the second one you posted.

uhhhhhh.... THANK YOU! Now I can get a good night's sleep!
whew!