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FEJ
12-01-2001, 12:50 PM
What was your best/favorite experience on The Jungle Cruise?

Some of my favorites are "the last boat out" around closing. by that time the skippers are ready to leave and its mainly people who have been on it before, so it can be a lot of fun.


My favorite one was when the CM shut the lights off as we left the dock, put the throttle on full and gave us only the punch lines to all the jokes, including firing the the gun in the dark.
He did this without any of the setups to the jokes. It was the quickest and probably wildest cruise I have ever been on.

LIMANDL4EVA
12-01-2001, 04:05 PM
by far, hands down, the best JC skipper ive EVER had was Maynard, if none of you know him, hes a BIG TIME famous CM at DL. He was soooooooooooo funny, mostly because he acted so darn weird all of the time. it was at night, so he used the extra lights on the boat for some very creative extras:D

FantasmicFan82
12-01-2001, 07:24 PM
Originally posted by LIMANDL4EVA
by far, hands down, the best JC skipper ive EVER had was Maynard...Jigga That!

mrfantasmic
12-02-2001, 07:47 PM
No no, The BEST by far is Adam.
Did you know that EVERY specimen (inc. Plants) can grow up to 2000 an jump 20 feet in the air???
Good times, good times.

RocketTom
12-02-2001, 08:22 PM
Originally posted by mrfantasmic
No no, The BEST by far is Adam.
Did you know that EVERY specimen (inc. Plants) can grow up to 2000 an jump 20 feet in the air???
Good times, good times.

Had Adam last time I went on the ride. Do you know an elephant will grow to over 2000 times it's original size and jump 20 feet into the air? Imagine that.

Agreed - good times.

Nigel2
12-03-2001, 09:36 AM
So what an anaconda can grow up to 60 feetand jump 3 miles....out of an airplane.

:D

innerSpaceman
12-03-2001, 01:53 PM
My fave JC experience was at a private party. I was a little more rambuncious than usual in this setting, so instead of listening politely to the skipper's lame series of rim-shot style jokes, I goodnaturedly heckled him. He played back and forth with me, and we were creating some very funny heckles and responses. There was never a moment of nastiness - just good, clean fun.

After the cruise, the skipper followed me into Adventureland, grabbed me from behind, spun me around and then shouted at me that he had never been so insulted as to be heckled during his spiel. He got all red in the face and was very upset over this trifling incident. If this had happened during regular operating hours, I would have reported him to a supervisor, but it was a private party so I felt that everybody (not just me, but CMs too) had a little bit more leeway. Anyway, for a very bad comic on the Jungle Cruise to let a couple of heckles get to him is not a good prescription for success on that job. Still, it is my fondest memory of the JC experience.

Gemini Cricket
12-03-2001, 03:53 PM
I was on a Cruise once where the JC skipper pretended like he was an AA. It was hysterical. Half way through the ride he stopped working and stalled the boat for a couple of seconds. It was great.

Jon Vincible
12-03-2001, 07:11 PM
The night rides are by far the best experiences...

"...and over here we have a full grown elephant, and over here...NOTHING! Nothing at all folks."

He was shining his light at the spot where the in-law elephant was.

...and speaking of the Jungle Cruise, with only 139 hours until my departure to Disneyland, i'de like to know whether the Jungle Cruise will be operating next week...any info would be helpful.

Ace
12-03-2001, 07:23 PM
the first person to say that the jungle cruise WILL be open (truthfully, that is...no liars at disneyland)... will be my hero. please, please, please say it is open the 9th....that would be my fondest desire...... I love the waterfall the most....no idea why.

beanpole
12-03-2001, 10:46 PM
My best JC experience was also at night. The skipper (sorry, I don't know his name) was a gifted comic.

As we passed through the hippo pool, the putt-putt motors used to animate the animals were clearly audible over the noise of the boat. When I commented to my friend that the hippos sounded like my old 77 Ford Pinto, the skipper burst out laughing and told me that he'd try to work that line into his spiel.

Later on during the cruise, a passenger emitted a sarcastic "Ha Ha" in response to a particularly lame joke. The skipper did something amazing. He stopped the boat and shut off the boat lights.

"Oh, was that a pitiful laugh? Well, I have a way to punish people like you."

Then, for the next five minutes as we drifted in total darkness, he let loose with an stream of one-liners - all of them terrible Jungle Cruise puns - one after another without pausing, at breakneck speed. I laughed so hard I nearly passed out. This guy was unbelievable! Of course, he did this with a completely straight face, as if he were serious, and that's what totally killed me. When he was done with his tirade, he continued on with the tour as if nothing had happened.

Morrigoon
12-03-2001, 11:25 PM
Jungle Police

They sent out an empty boat, of which we thought nothing because it was the evening and we figured they were sending it out to dock. We get halfway through the normal cruise, when up ahead we see the other boat, its lights flashing. Our skipper goes "Oh no, it's the Jungle Police!" The other boat said, over their speakers "Stop! Your jokes are not funny!" They then proceeded (there was two cms) to board our boat, drag our skipper off, and one of them replaced him to finish the cruise. When we arrived at the dock, they had our old skipper tied up and gagged.

Crazytigger
12-04-2001, 12:43 AM
Originally posted by LIMANDL4EVA
by far, hands down, the best JC skipper ive EVER had was Maynard, if none of you know him, hes a BIG TIME famous CM at DL. :D

I think I have seen him in the HM before he is very funny.

Crazytigger
12-04-2001, 01:04 AM
I am a huge JC fan but am sad to say that I have not had a realy unforgettable ride. I have had some great strippers... I mean skippers but nothing to write home about, Maybe I will have to try riding all different times of the day.

Joeymommy
12-04-2001, 01:19 PM
Last time I went on JC I had the best spiel I have ever had.. I was like the only person on the boat, except for a couple teens... But anyways, it was the funniest cruise I have been on, it was awesome... Yea, well i promised not to say what happened, and what was said but it was hilarious!

FEJ
12-04-2001, 08:00 PM
Originally posted by Morrigoon
Jungle Police

They sent out an empty boat, of which we thought nothing because it was the evening and we figured they were sending it out to dock. We get halfway through the normal cruise, when up ahead we see the other boat, its lights flashing. Our skipper goes "Oh no, it's the Jungle Police!" The other boat said, over their speakers "Stop! Your jokes are not funny!" They then proceeded (there was two cms) to board our boat, drag our skipper off, and one of them replaced him to finish the cruise. When we arrived at the dock, they had our old skipper tied up and gagged.

THAT IS RAD!! wish i would have seen it...

Briarose710
12-05-2001, 09:54 PM
ADam Rocks! A few of my riends and enjoy the Jungle Cruise Immensly , we know theSpiel and I know some of the skippers , we heckle or finish the Joke for them..it only late at night when its people who love the JC on the boat we dont want to ruin the magic for anyone else , Adam's been known to heckle us back , change the jokes and Names of certian things on is (he decided that "Bob" was names "Steve") . Best JC with him,,.the night of the Steve thing he just kept talking when we were unloding telling some kinda story Until another CM took his mic away...fun stuff

Matterhorn Fan
12-06-2001, 05:48 PM
Originally posted by mrfantasmic
Did you know that EVERY specimen (inc. Plants) can grow up to 2000 an jump 20 feet in the air???
It's kinda freaky, isn't it?

Why am I always the only one laughing at the jokes on the JC? Guess I need to ride later at night . . .

I like it when the skipper asks the two birds just past the waterfall if they think the "backside of water" joke was funny. (Their heads are moving in a "no" motion, of course.)

zapppop
12-06-2001, 06:28 PM
I really enjoyed a brunette recently. She was good.

disneylandlive
12-13-2001, 10:17 PM
What days and time is Maynard usually there. My friends and I have'nt seen Maynard at Jungle Cruise for a long time, but we always see him at Astro Orbitor and HISTA for some reason.

Not Afraid
12-13-2001, 10:20 PM
When Mousewife and I were at DL last Tuesday, a CM told us that Maynard had retired or was working infrequently.

ishthroat
12-13-2001, 10:24 PM
Kasandra (I think thats her name.) She has long red hair. Very funny. I went on the JC 3 times in a row and each time I lucked out on to her boat, and she went to the trouble to change up the schpeil so I wouldn't get bored.

Gotta love that!

Durliin
12-16-2001, 12:52 PM
Maynard is still there worked with him last night at the Tiki Room

Not Afraid
12-25-2001, 10:32 AM
At recent MP meets I must report a few classic JC moments.

On Sunday last, myself, cemeinke and FEJ rode at night. The CM was very entertaining in his delivery of the script but made us LOL when we returned to the dock and he asked us to remain seated, please then said "permanecer sentados, por favor".

On Christmas eve, myself, Cemeinke, Flubber, Ghoolish Delight, Cadaverous Pallor, Mad Madam Mim and MiniMim rode in the afternoon. Although we did not sink the boat (a few key people were missing) the ride was a classic. The best line was "Look at the hippos, look at the hippos, that's right, all we can do now is look at the hippos", getting a big laugh from those who remember the great hippo massacres of the past.

This same CM also repeated that line that, until now, I've only heard FEJ say - "now here's a Right turn for no apparent reason".

Both rides were great and the ride was virtually a walk-on.

Mad Madam Mim
12-25-2001, 10:45 AM
posted by Not Afraid

The best line was "Look at the hippos, look at the hippos, that's right, all we can do now is look at the hippos", getting a big laugh from those who remember the great hippo massacres of the past.

I was aplauding... I miss those cap guns.... once a cm lifted his fingers and said "bang, bang, bang, hum... not quite as effective they still seem to be charging."




Still by Not Afraid

This same CM also repeated that line that, until now, I've only heard FEJ say - "now here's a Right turn for no apparent reason".

I think he was channaling FEJ... the CM even mentioned both of the "turnes".

Also: our guide was Adam whom I belive is mentioned in the earlier posts of this thread. He's funny... and I was noticing... as usual..... cute... mmmmmm