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sdfilmcritic
09-02-2004, 06:47 AM
Since I fall in to the category of the demographic of 20-something single and always looking for the potentail person to start a *gasp* relationship with I had this hilarious thought. Is it bad form if a CM was asked by a guest if the CM was interested in a "date"? I'm sure the thought has entered the minds of a lot of singles who saw that one really cute CM and was tempted to say something.

For all you single CMs (or were once single while working for Disney), have you ever been asked out for dinner (or a date) by a guest while working on the job? Even if you haven't had this situation happen to you while at work I want to know your opinion on the situation from the perspective of a CM.

3894
09-02-2004, 06:52 AM
Not a CM. Not single.

But guess what! I have a couple of things to throw into the hopper.

Thing #1: If you don't ask for what you want, you're saying no for the other person. Ask already!

Thing #2: If you don't ask, you'll drive yourself crazy wondering. Ask already!

efoxx
09-02-2004, 09:21 AM
when I was in college, before Wfoxx I was asked out, in actually, by a cm. she worked at story book land. on the boat we started talking, then getting off she invited me to meet her "after work" at about 8. we road a few rides, listened to a band in tomorrowland, I gave her my number, she said "you know where I work". then we parted. never heard from her again, and a few months later I met WFoxx. which made me very :D

Andrew
09-02-2004, 10:14 AM
I dated a CM once. Without going into too much detail, it wasn't a "bad form" thing because there was a lot of mutual attraction. There's a difference between dating and stalking. Unfortunately, I have a feeling many CMs lately will assume the latter.

Still, it can't hurt to try--but be aware that your actions may be misinterpreted.

CoasterChickie
09-02-2004, 10:45 AM
I read a survey once that showed that if a guy is attractive the woman considers it asking her out, if the guy is unattractive the woman is more apt to consider it stalking. Sad, but true. SDfilmcritic, you look pretty decent in your picture so go for it! The worst she can do is say no. Just don't take a kid sister along when you ask. I strongly remember my brother asking out an employee at Great America one time when I was with him and I was truly the pesky little sister! (That's him in the middle and me on the left in my avatar...I idolized him at that age and wouldn't leave him alone!)

Aurora
09-02-2004, 12:15 PM
You could try it, but if she says no dont go riding her attraction all day. Dont feel weird about asking a cm out, it happens all the time. :D

MommyTo3Boys1Girl
09-02-2004, 12:55 PM
I was asked out by a CM once. He worked BTMRR, Kevin was his name. I was on my senior trip, lived in AZ. We talked on the phone for a while and that fizzled out.
Chip also wrote his phone number in my autograph book when I celebrated my 23rd birthday there! I did NOT call him.
I say ask, it can't hurt!

bluepearl
09-02-2004, 01:36 PM
Well, I used to know a variety of places where the cutest (male) CMs worked. My self-esteem wasn't the highest, so my friends dared me to take pictures with them (we'd giggle and laugh about how cute they were and the idea just popped into my mind, and my friends didn't think I'd do it, so I proved them wrong!). All of the guys were incredibly nice about it, and that's as far as it went. I did, however, once ask one of the guys if he wanted to hang out sometime, and he proceeded to give me a story about how he had a girlfriend, had two jobs, and such. And I just smiled and told him it was cool, he knew where to find me if he just wanted to chill (not a date). :shrug: Those were the more adventurous days of my life!

I did wind up dating a CM, but of course, I was already a CM myself (though not at present) so I imagine that doesn't make it very exciting? However, he was a general lead, so I used to hear that people would talk about me getting favored to be a lead, etc., etc. which I thought was false, because I never asked for anything special and therefore never received anything special (at least to my knowledge). But that's probably a whole different story altogether, which I enjoy telling because it's just so humorous to me.

Personally, I was never asked out, but would have probably considered it flattering.

I have so many stories, and all the memories are flooding back! :p

JeffG
09-02-2004, 04:08 PM
I guess I'll take a different tact here, but I personally would tend to think that a customer asking an employee out on a date while they are on the job is inappropriate. I have a hard time articulating exactly why, but it just strikes me as crossing a line regarding what a customer/employee relationship should be.

-Jeff

Wfoxx
09-02-2004, 04:56 PM
I had a Cm ask me out when I was 16 (1977). I was with my mom and godmother and her 2 daughters (8 & 6). I was on TSI by the river watching the canoes go by. One of the CM's waved hi and I waved back. About 20 minutes later he shows up by the mill where I was and asks if I would like to see the parkwith him when he got off from work. I said ok and my mom had no problem. His name was robert. I met him about 4 with my godmother's oldest in tow. She was chaperoning ugh. We went on Hm with 3 in a doom buggy (her in the middle ). I gave her back about 2 hours later and went off with robert til closing 12 a.m. We had a good time but, I never saw him again. He lived in Anaheim I lived in San diego. Sigh young teen romance.

SarahShep
09-02-2004, 10:21 PM
As a single employee (not of Disney, but one nontheless) I wouldn't be offended if a customer asked me out. It's flattering! I can't imagine I'd feel differently if I worked at Disneyland!

My sister dreams about working at Disneyland and finding a boyfriend! So when she becomes a Disneyland CM, ask her out, people!

DCACM
09-02-2004, 10:56 PM
I for mind wouldn't mind if a guest asked me out. In fact, I'm so damned shy, the only way I'll ever date is if someone asks me out!

If you were asking me out -which I doubt you are- I'd prefer you'd simply strike up conversation first, then come back a bit later and slip me your digits on the sly....don't want to make it obvious to other guests that a hook-up is in the works...bad show!

sdfilmcritic
09-02-2004, 11:18 PM
Thank you all for the input. It's good to hear other people's opinions and stories on the topic. Thank you for sharing!

TP2000
09-03-2004, 01:43 AM
I guess I'll take a different tact here, but I personally would tend to think that a customer asking an employee out on a date while they are on the job is inappropriate. I have a hard time articulating exactly why, but it just strikes me as crossing a line regarding what a customer/employee relationship should be.

-Jeff

I mostly agree with JeffG on this one. But I do think there's an age range where it would be okay, basically the 16 to 18 year old range, if both the CM and the park visitor were the same age. Those teen years it just seems more acceptable, and even cute and wholesome, to meet someone at Disneyland and go exploring the park or head to Downtown Disney for ice cream and a movie or something.

But I think once you get past 18, for either the CM or the park visitor, then it crosses into the inappropriate category for both people involved. And for the CM, or any employee anywhere except maybe Hooters, it definitely becomes unprofesional in my opinion.

sdfilmcritic
09-03-2004, 02:08 AM
Date a "Hooters Girl"? What a brilliant idea for any male fantasy. I like it. :)

CoasterChickie
09-03-2004, 03:55 AM
Jeff G and TP200...good points you made about the customer/employee relationship

I just think it must be so difficult nowadays for single people to connect since so many things are "unpolitically correct." When they're in school, there are lots of opportunities to meet other people of the opposite sex. But once they are out in the working world, what are their choices? Go to a bar? Yuck Go online? Maybe, I've heard some good outcomes and I've heard some bad outcomes Go to church? The women usually outnumber the men Go on a blind date? Eeek

Since liking someone or not depends a lot on "chemistry" I think if two people happen to meet and "click" when one is the employee and one is the customer, then the customer just needs to be discreet and respectful when he asks the employee out on a date. The nice thing is if the employee doesn't want to go out and doesn't want to hurt the customer's feelings she can always use "company policy prohibits me" as a good excuse to say no.

sdfilmcritic
09-03-2004, 05:09 AM
I work the graveyard shift at a television station and there's not much of a social connection I have with fellow co-workers. My department alone consists of seven guys and one woman. The one lady in the department is involved in a serious relationship. Outside the department I know a very small amount of people in the company, and of those people I do know very few of them are single women. This means I have to go outside the company to a more casual and socail setting to connect with anybody close to my age with similar interests. To echo some of the places Coaster mentioned the social options are places like bars, blind dates, church, and school. I'm not enrolled in college at this point, so that option is out. I don't visit the bars all the often for several reasons (money, can't drink before going to work, and I'm not interested in looking for the 'eternal party girl' or 'consistent drinker' personality) so that is an option that is also out of the question. Church seems like a viable idea, but I feel rather uncomfortable to be showing up at a place of worship and be checking out my options. Theme parks like Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm would fall into my hobbies and interest category that is open for a more social setting among family and friends. Blind dates are a scary option, because I have to have a lot of trust in the friend setting me up on the date. The friend would have to really know exactly the type of person I'm interested in, and that may be no better than throwing darts at a bullseye while blindfolded.

topdsnymom
09-03-2004, 06:55 AM
I say go for it! She would be nuts to say no to you. Boy! If I was single and 20 years younger. You just need to build a little self confidence. Women can sense that, and like that in men. :)

adriennek
09-03-2004, 08:14 AM
I'm with Jeff and TP2000. My thing is that this employee is "trapped." If someone asks her out and she feels really uncomfortable about the situation, there's no where she can go to get out of it. It's her job to be friendly and stay where she is. Like Andrew said, there's a fine line between interested and stalker.

I'm sure that there are people who could handle it, on both sides, the guest and the CM, I just know that it would probably make me feel really uncomfortable if I wanted to say no.

Adrienne

lisap
09-03-2004, 08:34 AM
What about just giving a CM your phone number as DCACM suggests? Would people feel uncomfortable with that? Then the CM is not put on the spot--he or she could decide what to do with the number at their leisure.

And no, I"m not asking for myself... :rolleyes: :p

EDIT: Oh my goodness, AK--that pic is a keeper!! :crying:

Andrew
09-03-2004, 09:14 AM
I'm with Jeff and TP2000. My thing is that this employee is "trapped." If someone asks her out and she feels really uncomfortable about the situation, there's no where she can go to get out of it. It's her job to be friendly and stay where she is. Like Andrew said, there's a fine line between interested and stalker.

I'm sure that there are people who could handle it, on both sides, the guest and the CM, I just know that it would probably make me feel really uncomfortable if I wanted to say no.
To clarify, I wouldn't (and didn't) ask until and unless it was pretty much a done deal anyway. If you just walk up to some CM minding their own business and ask them out, that's probably inappropriate. On the other hand if you've been chatting (because the CM isn't busy at the moment or whatever) and there seems to be some reciprocal interest, then I wouldn't think a phone number or an invitation for coffee would be unwelcome.

AlxVision360
09-03-2004, 09:35 AM
What if you're already married and ask a CM for a date? Is that OK?

[SMACK!!] :eek:

Never mind, my wife just answered that question. ouch...

:D

Andrew
09-03-2004, 09:52 AM
It's only ok if the CM is your spouse... ;)

KinLA
09-03-2004, 07:30 PM
Do you have a specific CM in mind? Cinderella, Minnie, Peter Pan? Inquiring minds want to know.

RagtimePrince
09-03-2004, 07:58 PM
I've worked at Great America for 3 years and have never actually been asked out. Sure, there have been lots teenage female guests who've flirted with me, but nobody's ever tried to see me outside of work, and frankly I'd love it if some girl came up to me and wanted to do something after work. If that's not the case with an employee, the CM can always say they're involved already or make up some excuse with a clear conscience, it's not like the guest lives next door and will know if they get let down with a gentle lie.

Go for it. :)