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mrbugg
11-04-2003, 06:18 PM
Seeing as DL has gotten the absolute worst of Eisner's mismanagement, I figured I'd ask the diehard fans here what they'd say or do if they could in Eisner's spot for a day, and have the power to dictate the things we'd like to change.

For example, the following speech would be the first such one I would make after being installed as Disney head honcho:

"Comedian Mike Bullard once said that 'we should pamper our youth, because they represent our future. That's why it's okay to neglect seniors, because they represent the past'. Bad joke nonwithstanding, I believe former Disney CEO Michael Eisner could be seen as guilty of neglecting the past. While his commitment to managing Walt Disney World and expansion members of the Disney family was always stellar, and his infusion of modernization in not only attractions but also in the way Disney communicated with newer generations was paramount to their success, his management of Disneyland was often not.
I do not believe that Michael purposely tried to hurt Disneyland, however. Nor do I think his effort was sub-par or never in what he felt was in the best interest of the park. However, it was in his willingness to integrate the latest trends and focus group research that he found his problem. For Disneyland can be considered something of a seperate entity from the rest of its bretheren. Disneyland was the place Walt expunged every second of his time to developing, and only for one goal: to provide families with a place they could truly feel safe and happy, no matter the generation. It is this focus on maintaining a magical world in which time means nothing that I believe Eisner lost.
And it is in this loss of focus that has plagued Disneyland for so long. And on behalf of Disney, I am truly, truly sorry. I was 16 when I first visited this magical place, and I never once felt too old or too big! I have never forgotten such a feeling, and I have felt horrible for everyone who was unable to experience such magic because of the move to modernize. It is this hope that I may be able to allow others to feel as amazing as I did that has driven me my entire career here at Disney, and I feel that I now am able to place every facet of my attention on it. It is my personal mission to restore the magical timelessness of Disneyland, and I will act upon every possible way to do so. I can only hope past, present and future visitors will forgive this company for neglecting them and their needs, and will continue to visit. Input is needed, of course, so my door and phone, as well as the doors and phones of every member of the Disney company cast is welcome to anyone. Every story, suggestion or complaint is welcome... it is with your help that I will know if what you as a loyal visitor is recieving is what you deserve!"

Captain Josh
11-04-2003, 06:20 PM
Well, if I were Eisner for a day, I guess I'd line my pockets with everything I could get my hands on, for the next day, when I am no longer Eisner, and just myself, with lined pockets.

Or, I'd fire myself, and get someone else to take over.

mrbugg
11-04-2003, 06:30 PM
Uhm.... okay, you're Disney head honcho because Eisner gets fired, and you're promoted to the job. Work with me people!

DisneyFan25863
11-04-2003, 06:49 PM
Originally posted by mrbugg
Uhm.... okay, you're Disney head honcho because Eisner gets fired, and you're promoted to the job. Work with me people!


I would unfreeze Walt and put him in charge

Bill Catherall
11-04-2003, 06:50 PM
Restaff Walt Disney Imagineering and stop buying prefabbed of-the-shelf rides. Let WDI use their creative juices to build real masterpieces. No more corner cutting.

Restaff animation. Let them write good stories, and stop churning out sequels.

Build up a park executive team that knows how to run theme parks and who also knows what Disney magic is really all about. People who know "show."

Sell off ABC, ESPN, Angels, etc. I think they spread the company resources too thin. We need to focus on Disney.

DisneyFan25863
11-04-2003, 06:53 PM
Originally posted by Bill Catherall
Angels, etc. I think they spread the company resources too thin. We need to focus on Disney.

Uh...where have you been?
:p :D

Bill Catherall
11-04-2003, 07:00 PM
Originally posted by DisneyFan25863
Uh...where have you been?
:p :D I don't care. In my opinion the Angels are not Disney.

Freerider127
11-04-2003, 07:00 PM
I G-Hawks idea of firing myself but first i would do everything i can in a day and then fire myself.

Mr. Wiggins
11-04-2003, 07:05 PM
>>I figured I'd ask the diehard fans here what they'd say or do if they could in Eisner's spot for a day, and have the power to dictate the things we'd like to change.<<

I'd can the board of directors, call Stan Gold & Roy Disney and tell 'em they've got the tiller, pack my office and get the hell out.

uberfrau
11-04-2003, 07:08 PM
I'd open a third park and theme it to... are you ready? this is brilliant...

Orange County!

sleepyjeff
11-04-2003, 07:21 PM
Originally posted by uberfrau
I'd open a third park and theme it to... are you ready? this is brilliant...

Orange County!

Or how about.............Disney's Harbor Boulavard Adventure:)

iwannabeanimagineer
11-04-2003, 07:27 PM
Secretary, make the following calls, please:

Unions: Go to the last scene in Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Feature Animation: Meet me for lunch tomorrow and every day for the rest of the month with a new storyboard for a new feature each day. No holds barred, no sacred cows.

TV animation: Selling you to Time Warner. Bye.

Pixar: We'll pay you anything you want, just stay with the family. Let's meet for breakfast and have 3 new movie ideas.

Robin Williams: Meet me for lunch today and have 3 new family movie ideas.

Cartoon Network: Let's make a deal.

Disney Channel: No more Raven, or we're selling you. Vault Disney's back on and every Thursday night is Disney Classic night.

ABC: Detract from profits and you're gone.

ESPN: Ditto

Imagineering: Meet me for breakfast tomorrow and every morning for the rest of the month with a concept for a new blockbuster attraction in every park each morning...and no clones. Bring in S&S Power or Arrow Dynamics if you must, but bring in a storyboard with them. Oh, and do something about the old submarine and motorboat lagoon at Disneyland, will you? It's a huge waste of real estate. Start with some little ideas like bringing back the old stuff with some new twists and build up to big ideas like a new themed land.

EA Games: Come in after breakfast and have 3 new blockbuster video game ideas based on Disney Animated Features or blockbuster Disney live-action features.

Jo Rowling: Let's make a deal for theme park attraction rights.

Theme Park Operations: Five teams per park, people, let's go like Walt is watching over your shoulder: Team 1 clean and repaint an attraction a night...be done by Christmas. Team 2 restore, repair, spruce up and improve every special effect on one attraction per week...be done by Summer 2004. Team 3 re-open one closed attraction per week...everything running by Thanksgiving. Team 4 re-train cast members one land a week and send the untrainable ones over to Universal with our recommendation...all guests thoroughly delighted by next week. Team 5 find some chefs and get some real menues. Oh, and stop charging Mom and Dad $100 for breakfast with characters, for Walt's sake!

Halle Berry: Let's make a deal for dinner tonight and every night after that. I'm the CEO of Disney, for crying out loud!

sleepyjeff
11-04-2003, 07:34 PM
Sell the Disneyland Resort to the Oriental Land Company--the only Disney company that really likes Walt and his Guests!

Mark Goldhaber
11-04-2003, 08:15 PM
Originally posted by Bill Catherall
I don't care. In my opinion the Angels are not Disney.

Um, actually, the "Where have you been?" referred to the fact that the Angels have already been sold..... :rolleyes:

DisneyFan25863
11-04-2003, 08:25 PM
Originally posted by Mark Goldhaber
Um, actually, the "Where have you been?" referred to the fact that the Angels have already been sold..... :rolleyes:


As my Science teacher would say:

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....Buuuurrrrrnnn nnnn"


:fez:

merlinjones
11-04-2003, 09:06 PM
Sell the name and likeness of Walt Disney back to Diane Disney Miller for $1. Then resign and get the hell out.

HBTiggerFan
11-04-2003, 09:17 PM
Bring back every imagineer who was forced into early retirement. Pay them well and give them unlimited funding to create whatever attractions they could come up with.

Fire every bean counter on the TDA staff.

Send every park CM to the *real* Disney University for proper training. After that, they get written up and fired. Make Disneyland a place where people want to work like when it first opened, so the hiring staff can be superpickey about who they hire.

Repair the relationship with Pixar and George Lucas. Do whatever it takes to keep them on board.

leaf
11-05-2003, 01:48 AM
A few micromanaging things I would do:

-Sell off the Disney Cruise Lines, Disney Stores, ABC, Mighty Ducks (still owned?).
-Ban the use of the word "synergy" among Disney management.

-Change ticketing at all theme parks from paper tickets to the thin plastic credit-card like tickets used at Disneyland Paris.
-Ban McDonald's food, cotton candy, and those spinning flashlight things from the theme parks.

-Turn California Adventure into an extension of Downtown Disney so people can freely walk into and out of the area. Rides can be ticketed individually.
-Ban all Pixar characters from Disneyland.
-Tear down the monstrous towers built for Light Magic along the parade route near It's a Small World.
-Get rid of the monstrous trams currently at DLR, and bring out the old blue-and-yellow trams.
-Bring back Retlaw and have them take over control of running the Monorail.

Germboy
11-05-2003, 03:05 AM
Who is this Leaf person and why are they a "junior" member? Excellent, excellent suggestions!! Couldn't have said it better myself!!!

merlinjones
11-05-2003, 07:00 AM
Sell: Miramax, ABC, ESPN, Disney Stores, Cruise Lines, Sports teams, ESPN stores and bars, Go.com (keep ABC film library, SpyKids franchise)

Convert ABC Family into Disney Classics Channel, put classic Disney cartoons on ToonDisney, review lineup on Disney Channel for retooling

Fire: All Executive Vice-Presidents, Presidents, Senior Vice Presidents, Vice Presidents, Directors, Producers, Managers and their sycophants in the entire Walt Disney Company, particularly the finance division, strategic planning, legal, marketing, human resources, creative... aw, make it all of them. Appoint interim leaders from pre-arranged pool of people who get it.

Cancel all consulting contracts

Cancel all political contributions and deals with special interest groups

Remove all censorship restrictions from classic product, Restore all films to their full length cut

Create splashy DVD debut for Song of the South after full digital three-strip Technicolor restoration, full media marketing assualt

Make Roy Disney acting CEO

Dissolve the Board

Rebuild Feature Animation and Imagineering

Dissolve Disney TV Animation/Toon Disney, Disney Development Company

Pull all copies of all DTV sequels from store shelves. Bury all master copies of all sequels deep in Kansas film vaults. Forebid all divisions to refer to the existence of these films. Cancel any sequels or video premieres still in production.

Halt production on any current animated projects. Restart development of traditional features. Cancel contracts with outside animation producers (save Pixar).

Buy/merge with Pixar, Lucasfilm, Mattel, MGM/UA

Offer to buy Cartoon Network, Hanna-Barbera, DC Comics, Looney Tunes, The Wizard of Oz and Willy Wonka from ailing Time-Warner

Prepare presentations to reinvest in Disneyland and the parks. Prepare slate of E Tickets to open at least once every three years.

Reinstitute theatrical rerelease program and seven year hiatus for Disney Classics.

Make California Adventure part of Downtown Disney, prep decent second gate

Order complete restoration of Disneyland facilites and classic attractions

Freeze all major expenditures and plans in action for complete review

Sell name and likeness of Walt Disney back to Diane Disney Miller for $1.

Company repurchases as much stock as possible with intent of going private.

Forego golden parachute perks, nullify current contract, resign.

Strike my name from every post.

Watch a marathon of Walt Disney movies until I keel over.

Whew! Busy day.

merlinjones
11-05-2003, 08:36 AM
Breakfast: Five egg omelette with bacon, sausage, chorizo, cheddar and avocado. Hash browns. Biscuits and gravy (with butter). Hot buttered rum.

Snack: Original glazed Krispy Kreme donuts. Large coffee with heavy cream and mocha powder, whipped cream on top.

Lunch: Two Big Macs, Super-sized fries, triple thick shake, hot apple pie and a cookie.

Snack: Suzy-Q and a Frappucino.

Tea: Bagel with cream cheese. Tea cakes with butter and clotted cream and peanut butter. Tea with heavy cream.

Dinner: Egg Nog. Buttered well-marbled steak with Bernaise sauce. Deep fried shrimp basket, fried potatoes. Boston cheesecake.

Late snack: Quart of Haagen-Daaz.

CoasterMatt
11-05-2003, 09:07 AM
If I was Eisner for a day, I'd take some of that ridiculous over compensation, and buy a decent toupee

Doodle Duck
11-05-2003, 09:33 AM
If I was Eisner...not me in Eisner's shoes...but really Eisner...

I would simply say..."I'm sorry."


I would take 10 million out of the personal moneybin and just go away...all the other bazillions which I wouldn't need in 3 lifetimes to be gifted to the re-building of Disneyland...prior to leaving I would designate the creation of Walt Disney Parklands (grass..benches...fountains, trees...between DL and DCA)...remove the entry gates to BOTH parks and re-position ONE gate at the edge of downtown Diz.

Bill Catherall
11-05-2003, 09:56 AM
Originally posted by Mark Goldhaber
Um, actually, the "Where have you been?" referred to the fact that the Angels have already been sold..... :rolleyes: Okay, I'll take that burn. I've been ignoring them and pushing them so far out of my mind that I must have just ignored that little piece of news.

Next, ABC & ESPN... (unless of course they've already been sold and I ignored that too)

Germboy
11-05-2003, 11:38 AM
Hm, Bill. Maybe it's the other way around...Did you ever try ignoring Eisner? Maybe he'll go away too.

Merlinjones stars as the 500 pound Eisner. Film at 11.

I heard that Bill Cosby bought the rights to Song Of The South for the purpose of banning it?!? :confused: If you are going to lift censorship restrictions, don't forget the WWII anti-Hitler propaganda films that should be re-released too. Why they were censored to begin with, is beyond me...:rolleyes: