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ScottC4746
11-17-2012, 09:29 PM
This evening I was standing looking at something at World of Disney. I was up against the display so as not to be in the way of the traffic flow. This little boy starts pushing against me to get me to move. All I said was, "Really?" His mother responded, "He is four." I did not realize being four gave an excuse for such behavior. I have a 3 year old nephew who was brought up and taught pushing, especially a stranger, is a great big no-no. I guess the kid ate too much cotton candy and he was on a sugar high.:eyeroll:

SigalTchelet
11-17-2012, 10:01 PM
This evening I was standing looking at something at World of Disney. I was up against the display so as not to be in the way of the traffic flow. This little boy starts pushing against me to get me to move. All I said was, "Really?" His mother responded, "He is four." I did not realize being four gave an excuse for such behavior. I have a 3 year old nephew who was brought up and taught pushing, especially a stranger, is a great big no-no. I guess the kid ate too much cotton candy and he was on a sugar high.:eyeroll:
Sounds like poor parenting skills to me. Obviously the mother does not set limits for him.

danyoung
11-18-2012, 02:38 PM
In mama's mind, being 4 years old was a valid excuse. She's wrong.

rustymick
11-18-2012, 07:58 PM
I'd say, really loudly, "Oh my gosh, did your Mommy leave you all alone in this great big place?"

shna
11-19-2012, 10:46 AM
I had a similar experience a couple of months ago at a birthday party. One little boy at the party kept pushing me away so he could reach his favorite chips on the counter. I was very close to saying something, but then his Mom said that he was autistic. I was very glad I hadn't said anything ... and now I will likely take such behavior from little ones with a little less impatience. Of course, merely being four is certainly NOT an excuse -- but it's possible that there's something else going on there & that the mother didn't feel the need to explain medical conditions with a complete stranger.

zombie pirate
11-19-2012, 10:51 AM
Last time we went to Disneyland we were sitting down neatr Big Thunder having lunch and a couples 2 children, both under 5-7 years old were just running around the table area, they grabbed at peoples food, while their parents had their eyes glued, and thumbs flying on their smart phones, when some people complained, their response was give them a break, they are just kids. That is another thing that kind of gets to me. You are at Disneyland, so many things to look at, people watch, and your eyes are glued to your phone.

cstephens
11-19-2012, 11:48 AM
I had a similar experience a couple of months ago at a birthday party. One little boy at the party kept pushing me away so he could reach his favorite chips on the counter. I was very close to saying something, but then his Mom said that he was autistic.

OK, here's me with no kids and very little experience with special needs kids - but, even if the child was autistic, I would think there would still be the possibility that the parent could teach the child that pushing someone away isn't ok, or at the very least, that the parent would apologize on behalf of the child, even if the child couldn't control their own behaviour. No need for a medical explanation, just a simple apology acknowledging their child's behaviour. I've been around kids I didn't know who were just being kids and not paying attention, and they might run into me or something like that, and the parents apologized - that was the end of it.

MammaSilva
11-19-2012, 12:01 PM
And...here is me with more experience with special needs than anyone would ever wish upon someone and it is NOT an excuse. It might be an explanation on why she's so curious on why you use a wheelchair like she does on occasion, it might be why for the billionth time we're in line to see Mickey, ride her favorite horse trolley or something else but it is not now or ever an excuse for bad behavior. IF your child has behaviors that others will perceive as 'bad behavior' then you become proactive about it. If I sound judgmental then so be it but I can say that at 31 years old my cognitive 4 year old KNOWS it is NOT OK to hit, touch, hug, shove, shall I continue? The reason she knows these things is because I and other adults in her life have made it a priority that she will be welcomed in other peoples homes/space and that means behaving in a manner that society deems acceptable. ALL children can learn, they all have their own learning curve/rate but it does take consistency on their parents or care providers parts to help them be able to take part in the world around them without making excuses. Explain, yes, excuse NO.

currence
11-19-2012, 12:11 PM
ALL children can learn, they all have their own learning curve/rate but it does take consistency on their parents or care providers parts to help them be able to take part in the world around them without making excuses. Explain, yes, excuse NO.

So true!!!!

When my mom worked with special education students, she had one who would consistently temper-tantrum at home...because it worked at home. By the time my mom was done with her, she did not tantrum at school because it did not work at school. So not only did the kid have the mental capacity to realize that her tantrums were working, she also had the capacity to realize when they didn't work and to turn them off. I believe she was considered mentally around a toddler.

Remembering that student was very helpful with my own toddlers because it reminded me that they were capable of so much more than many people give them credit.

My own MIL wanted to let my kids wander around a restaurant when they were learning to walk because she thought it was adorable. I flat out pulled the "will it still be adorable when they are 10? Because otherwise we need to stop the behavior now" I think it took her somewhat off guard.

4 is well past the age of cute excuses. But I'm guessing with mom "He's 1" turned into "he's 2" etc. and she may well be making excuses for him all through life.

adriennek
11-19-2012, 12:21 PM
I'm having an issue with this in an area of my life... We have a young man in our life who is a fine human being who has autism. His behavior has been disruptive in situations and he has given unwanted attention to other children. In one situation, he was hugging a little girl - she did not want to be touched, she was upset by the hug and very uncomfortable.

We have a safe environment policy - every child needs to feel safe.

The answer is not "Kick him out because he has behavior issues" the answer is "We know he has issues, so we try to be patient when we redirect him and say 'No, Johnny, it's not ok to hug Jane like that." -- but Mom wants the answer to be "It's ok for Johnny because he has autism." No. It's ok for us to redirect him with kindness and empathy.

There's no excuse for bad behavior. Sometimes we might need more patience, but there's a clear difference.

candles71
11-19-2012, 12:29 PM
We have an Aspie in our midst, who gets right in your face, both because he doesn't get personal space and because he has extremely bad eye site and can't see you. When he graduated high school, he started staying with my MIL during the day while his mom worked. She worked with him to correct that and some other behaviors, mom reinforces them, but had been overwhelmed before. Now if he gets too close I can tell him to take a step back, others tell him arms length. Whistler is really good with him from dealing with his cousin.

ThatCrazyRedhead
11-19-2012, 01:43 PM
4 is well past the age of cute excuses. But I'm guessing with mom "He's 1" turned into "he's 2" etc. and she may well be making excuses for him all through life.

I bet you're right, currence.

"What do you want from him? He's only 35!"

TTFN92
11-19-2012, 01:49 PM
It drives me crazy when kids invade my space and the parents don't do anything. I have 5 kids so I "get" what kids do and don't do. I know that with little kids they forget things, especially in an exciting place like Disneyland, and they are still learning. If they run off and try to push past someone I ALWAYS apologize and tell them that they shouldn't do that. If a parent does that, then no biggie because I know that they are kids and the parent is trying. If they act like it's no big deal then I get annoyed.

torquedork
11-19-2012, 06:32 PM
Last time we went to Disneyland we were sitting down neatr Big Thunder having lunch and a couples 2 children, both under 5-7 years old were just running around the table area, they grabbed at peoples food, while their parents had their eyes glued, and thumbs flying on their smart phones, when some people complained, their response was give them a break, they are just kids. That is another thing that kind of gets to me. You are at Disneyland, so many things to look at, people watch, and your eyes are glued to your phone.

To me it's completely unacceptable to let their kids run around like that especially letting them grab someone elses food.

I’ve been brought up to where getting something or going someplace such as Disneyland is a “Treat” and if us kids had kept on doing something wasn’t acceptable that had been told to “Stop playing around” my parents would had said “Ok you were told to stop and you blew it for everyone and we’re going home!”

Many Parents today think letting their kids run around without any discipline is totally acceptable and thinking it’s totally ok or even totally oblivious that their kids are making a big huge scene, are constantly cutting in line, pushing people around, yelling and screaming on rides, taking flash photography (including parents) when announcements saying “No Flash Photography” annoying or ruin other people enjoyment.

torquedork
11-19-2012, 06:51 PM
It drives me crazy when kids invade my space and the parents don't do anything. I have 5 kids so I "get" what kids do and don't do. I know that with little kids they forget things, especially in an exciting place like Disneyland, and they are still learning. If they run off and try to push past someone I ALWAYS apologize and tell them that they shouldn't do that. If a parent does that, then no biggie because I know that they are kids and the parent is trying. If they act like it's no big deal then I get annoyed.

So far only once I was really cool about this especially when the Father totally had Thanked me for letting his family go in first at the Princess Fantasy Fair because one of the Princess had taken the family that was behind me in first.

However I had gotten so annoyed when people just don't want to wait for their turn who go straight to the front of the line at any of the Meet and Greet locations where the Parents totally push their kids in front of other Guests and having then having the Characters telling the family and pushing the kids back to the parents to let someone who was waiting patiently especially when the "Photo Cast Members" or any other Cast Members aren't paying attention to who's next in line

ScottC4746
11-20-2012, 04:58 AM
To me it's completely unacceptable to let their kids run around like that especially letting them grab someone elses food.

I’ve been brought up to where getting something or going someplace such as Disneyland is a “Treat” and if us kids had kept on doing something wasn’t acceptable that had been told to “Stop playing around” my parents would had said “Ok you were told to stop and you blew it for everyone and we’re going home!”

Many Parents today think letting their kids run around without any discipline is totally acceptable and thinking it’s totally ok or even totally oblivious that their kids are making a big huge scene, are constantly cutting in line, pushing people around, yelling and screaming on rides, taking flash photography (including parents) when announcements saying “No Flash Photography” annoying or ruin other people enjoyment.

This is one issue I have with the Sci-Fi Drive In at Hollywood Studios at WDW is you are in rows of seats in "cars" and kids can turn around and grab the persons food behind them...but that is another thread.

ScottC4746
11-20-2012, 05:01 AM
Now on a flip side a number of years ago I was dining at Plaza Inn alone, as I always do, and I hear this faint little girls voice, "Excuse me may I have this chair?" After I finished my meal, I made a point of going to the parents and thanking them for bringing her up so polite and explaining what she did. They turned around and praised her for her behavior.
What is the moral of this story: Not all children need to be raised to be terrors and monsters.

torquedork
11-20-2012, 06:18 PM
Now on a flip side a number of years ago I was dining at Plaza Inn alone, as I always do, and I hear this faint little girls voice, "Excuse me may I have this chair?" After I finished my meal, I made a point of going to the parents and thanking them for bringing her up so polite and explaining what she did. They turned around and praised her for her behavior.
What is the moral of this story: Not all children need to be raised to be terrors and monsters.

Seems like that the little girl is being taught well by the parents on how to behave and how to ask for something politely correctly in public. Definitely have to give the parents two thumbs up.

AZImmortal
11-20-2012, 10:25 PM
It drives me crazy when kids invade my space and the parents don't do anything. I have 5 kids so I "get" what kids do and don't do. I know that with little kids they forget things, especially in an exciting place like Disneyland, and they are still learning. If they run off and try to push past someone I ALWAYS apologize and tell them that they shouldn't do that. If a parent does that, then no biggie because I know that they are kids and the parent is trying. If they act like it's no big deal then I get annoyed.

This is exactly how I feel about young children behaving "excitedly". I can forgive the behavior if the parent/caretaker/etc stops it from happening once they become aware of it, but if they just watch or make excuses, then I become very annoyed and makes me realize why their kids act that way.

tea4two
11-21-2012, 01:14 PM
It seems that the stories about rude parents and misbehaving kids are on the increase (e.g. this thread, the crazy cotton candy lady in another thread, etc.). I'm sure there have always been selfish, rude people at DL/DLR (even on opening day), but there have always been kind, decent people, too, so it's not like this is a problem that just popped up. I guess I don't understand why the rude people are so convinced that the happiest place on earth is only supposed to be happy for them!

letshavefun
11-21-2012, 05:51 PM
It seems that the stories about rude parents and misbehaving kids are on the increase (e.g. this thread, the crazy cotton candy lady in another thread, etc.). I'm sure there have always been selfish, rude people at DL/DLR (even on opening day), but there have always been kind, decent people, too, so it's not like this is a problem that just popped up. I guess I don't understand why the rude people are so convinced that the happiest place on earth is only supposed to be happy for them!

Nicely said. I really enjoy seeing people doing kind things for others it can be contagious.

On our last trip there was a young mom with 3 year old waiting in line at TSMM (it was long and slow moving)my DD and I were behind them. The little girl was very active and kept trying to move ahead. The mom was trying really hard to keep her entertained. The little girl took a liking to my DD and I. We were keeping her busy with games, and just talking to her. The mom kept apologizing but we love young children so it was fun for us too. I could tell the mom was relieved.

bennette
11-23-2012, 11:43 AM
Since we have gotten off topic somewhat with parenting topics...

Yesterday I was working at a buffet line for Thanksgiving. Now I know that for parents, taking a kid through buffets can be stressful (too many choices, too much to juggle, etc.) so for those coming through the line with kids, I tried to be extra helpful, offering to fill out plates so they could keep an eye on their kids, making sure foods didn't touch, etc. I noticed one mom who was struggling with her five-year-old son despite my best efforts.

And that's when I realized she was allowing him to ride.his.scooter. In a buffet line. She told him to stop riding it but didn't enforce it.

I, of course, was wondering what the scooter was even doing inside, amidst several hundred people and trays of hot food.

Malcon10t
11-23-2012, 12:21 PM
Here is a prime example of why we have so many rules. I think the average person would think "Why do we need a rule saying 'No scooters in the dining room'?", but evidently we do!

Teddi
11-23-2012, 01:15 PM
I agree that you may not know the whole situation of what may have been going on with this 4 year old. But being 4 is just absolutely no excuse at ALL. I have worked as a caregiver for a couple of autistic 12/13 year old boys (a very difficult age). I used to take one of my clients out and about- and he was atypical in that he was one to not understand boundaries and was overly friendly/touching/grabbing. His parents did sometimes explain and sometimes didn't, maybe a handful of times I did to perfect strangers (depended on how long the interaction time would be with these strangers more than anything) but I NEVER did say it was ok to do anything that wasn't "ok" or excuse it. And as a parent, the only thing she should have done was apologized for her child's behavior- NOT give you some "he's 4" line. I don't want to judge beyond that or say what she should have or not done with her child, but if it was my child I would have let them know in no uncertain terms that behavior is NOT ok, and yes I have had my kids with bad days or hours at the parks (it does happen) but it never makes it ok for them to be rude or physical to other guests. I think if I had been in that situation, I would have told the child he/she cannot hit or shove ME. I still believe, in in today's world, when it comes to another child being way over the line (esp. hitting/shoving other kids or strangers etc) the adult can still tell the child "You cannot shove me". I can't really even imagine my kids doing that BUT if they did, I would hope the other adult would speak up. I'm not personally the kind who thinks ONLY *I* should ever be the one to put boundaries down for my kid (cuz that ain't the real world). The real world have all types of "authority" and I would like my children to learn to be respectful (while still Liberty minded) to teachers, police, etc etc.

candles71
11-23-2012, 09:00 PM
Now that you mention it Teddi, between my natural inclination to mother everyone, and years of volunteer time in the elementary school, I would have most likely looked at the child and told them that is not OK. Cause, I'm sorry, at 4 their preschool teacher is not going to put up with that kind of behavior or "excuse".
Really, a scooter in the buffet line? Really? I thought heelies were bad.