stevefulton
08-25-2001, 11:52 PM
So my wife and I and our 3-year-old daughter finally "fell for" the DCA So. Cal. Resident Discount and went for the first time today.
First off, the day did not start so badly. The first ride we went on was "Superstar Limo". I'd heard that this was "the worst ride" ever, but with my expectations at near-zero, I didn't think it was all that bad. Cheesy, but fun in its own way. There was only a 5 minute wait, so that might have added to the enjoyment.
Next we went ot "Muppets 3-D" which was very cute, and we all liked the 3-D effects. At a possible "2 for 2" I started thinking that all you guys here, and even Al were "nuts". I began to think that all was right in the world, and DCA was really a great place. "Hollywood Pictures Backlot" was very well-done, and surpasses Universal in every possible way when it comes to detial, charm and theming. We were happy. My little girl was happy. There was even passing talk about DCA Annual Passes". That dream would soon die.
We left for lunch and came back. That was when things went dramtically wrong.
First, we went to the "Animation Exhibit". It was pretty good, but from all the praise I heard, it was a bit disappointing. It looked a bit recycled, and its penchant for focusing on bit characterss from unsuccessful movies (Mushu for God's sake!!??!!). Still, it was ok, and it seemed the day would work out great. However, the lines were huge for the interactive section, so we had to skip it.
After that, the "Hyperion Theatre" fell right on us. I should state for the record, that since I live in the South Bay, the name "Hyperion" means something different to me than it might to others. Just to the North of us, in El Segundo, sits the "Hyperion Sewage Treatment Plant". (it is real, check your maps). What an appropriate name for the theatre. That is all I could think of as I we endured the unholy travesty that is "Steps In Time". The show is just a complete joke. It disconnects with the audience after the first second, and never returns. Ever. My wife and I could not stop laughing. The show was side-splittingly, yet unintentionally funny in every way. It is like a Simpsons parody, or something from the "Chris Elliot Show" or "The Ben Stiller Show". Also, how could they possibly build a theatre with NO BATHROOMS. Especially when they put on a show that is "pee-in-the-pants" laughable?
Now, I know people will say that "the performers worked so hard, and it is unfair to say it sucks because of al lthat work. Yeah, well I work hard too, and when I'm involved in a project that is ill-conceived (take a look at this travesty that I completed to every detail in the design document even though I knew it was one of the worst game idea ever conceived: http://www.barbie.com/activities/barbiebeat/nsync/ntrouble/game.asp) I have the ability to disassociate myself from the material and just "do my job". I pray that is what those performers have done. All Disney had to do was stick in one cut-down performance from the "Lion King" stage show and surround it with numbers from a few other Disney classics, and they would have had a huge hit.
The rest of the day was a completely downhill from there. The lines for "Soarin'" were far too long to stand-in with a 3-year old, and she was 2 inches too short for "Grizzly" and nearly everything else. In fact, with a 40 inch child that is still a bit skitterish about heights, there are really only TWO rides in the entire park they can ride: "Superstar" and the Carousel. The Carousel was really nice, so that worked out, but then it was very very tough to watch my daughter's face when I told her that yet another ride "was too big for her". We also wondered why there was such a huge "sea" with nothing in it. Whata waste of space!! Hey, why not a moor some boats in there, or just move the motor-boats from Disneyland? Was anyone even watching as this thing was put-in?
The tortilla and bread exhibits were a ridiculous waste of space. I was even willing to accept them at first, but they were so lame I just felt "had".
The worst "surprise" was "Tough To Be A Bug". I'd heard this was a bit "intense" but I did not realize how-so. That show is just a cruel joke. I'm now "officially" tired of Disney "shows" that "spit" on me and poke me in the back and the ***. ENOUGH ALREADY, WE GOT IT.
At this point, what had seemed like a great day was turning into a complete nightmare. I had watched so many movies I felt like instead of visiting a "Theme Park", I had sat around on the couch all Saturday watching cable TV. At least my numb backside thought-so. My wallet, now $120 lighter did not.
We were all hungry, but the restuarants were either too expensive, or the wait was too long. 45 minutes and $4.00 for a corn dog was an indignity I chose to not endure.
On our way-out, we stopped to see the "Disney Electrical Parade(sic)". It was the one moment in the day when I actually saw "awe" in my daughter's eyes. Appropriate as it is a genuine Disney creation.
After that, my daughter begged us to go another ride. There were only two to choose from, so we decided on "Superstar Limo" again. We rode it 3 times in a row. Yeah, it is lame, but it is as close to "Disney" as we had experienced all-day, and there are some cute (albeit chea-eee-eee-p) special effects. It was the final indignity of the day. Riding and re-riding that lame attempt at a dark-ride because it was the closet we could get to the magic across the way.
On the way back to the car, we caught the magnificant Disneyland Fireworks show. Again, "awe" in my daughter's eyes. It takes real "Disney" magic to do that. California adventure has none of it. You guys were right. I'm sorry a doubted you for a minute.
I suggest that Disney takes "Hollywood Pictures Backlot", add a "real" show to the Hyperion and tack-on "Soarin" and "Grizzly" part of the existing Disneyland. Bulldoze the rest. Or better-yet, just open it up as part of Downtown Disney with paid rides. Most of it is just acrappy mall anyway.
Sorry this is so long. I just had to vent.
-Steve Fulton
First off, the day did not start so badly. The first ride we went on was "Superstar Limo". I'd heard that this was "the worst ride" ever, but with my expectations at near-zero, I didn't think it was all that bad. Cheesy, but fun in its own way. There was only a 5 minute wait, so that might have added to the enjoyment.
Next we went ot "Muppets 3-D" which was very cute, and we all liked the 3-D effects. At a possible "2 for 2" I started thinking that all you guys here, and even Al were "nuts". I began to think that all was right in the world, and DCA was really a great place. "Hollywood Pictures Backlot" was very well-done, and surpasses Universal in every possible way when it comes to detial, charm and theming. We were happy. My little girl was happy. There was even passing talk about DCA Annual Passes". That dream would soon die.
We left for lunch and came back. That was when things went dramtically wrong.
First, we went to the "Animation Exhibit". It was pretty good, but from all the praise I heard, it was a bit disappointing. It looked a bit recycled, and its penchant for focusing on bit characterss from unsuccessful movies (Mushu for God's sake!!??!!). Still, it was ok, and it seemed the day would work out great. However, the lines were huge for the interactive section, so we had to skip it.
After that, the "Hyperion Theatre" fell right on us. I should state for the record, that since I live in the South Bay, the name "Hyperion" means something different to me than it might to others. Just to the North of us, in El Segundo, sits the "Hyperion Sewage Treatment Plant". (it is real, check your maps). What an appropriate name for the theatre. That is all I could think of as I we endured the unholy travesty that is "Steps In Time". The show is just a complete joke. It disconnects with the audience after the first second, and never returns. Ever. My wife and I could not stop laughing. The show was side-splittingly, yet unintentionally funny in every way. It is like a Simpsons parody, or something from the "Chris Elliot Show" or "The Ben Stiller Show". Also, how could they possibly build a theatre with NO BATHROOMS. Especially when they put on a show that is "pee-in-the-pants" laughable?
Now, I know people will say that "the performers worked so hard, and it is unfair to say it sucks because of al lthat work. Yeah, well I work hard too, and when I'm involved in a project that is ill-conceived (take a look at this travesty that I completed to every detail in the design document even though I knew it was one of the worst game idea ever conceived: http://www.barbie.com/activities/barbiebeat/nsync/ntrouble/game.asp) I have the ability to disassociate myself from the material and just "do my job". I pray that is what those performers have done. All Disney had to do was stick in one cut-down performance from the "Lion King" stage show and surround it with numbers from a few other Disney classics, and they would have had a huge hit.
The rest of the day was a completely downhill from there. The lines for "Soarin'" were far too long to stand-in with a 3-year old, and she was 2 inches too short for "Grizzly" and nearly everything else. In fact, with a 40 inch child that is still a bit skitterish about heights, there are really only TWO rides in the entire park they can ride: "Superstar" and the Carousel. The Carousel was really nice, so that worked out, but then it was very very tough to watch my daughter's face when I told her that yet another ride "was too big for her". We also wondered why there was such a huge "sea" with nothing in it. Whata waste of space!! Hey, why not a moor some boats in there, or just move the motor-boats from Disneyland? Was anyone even watching as this thing was put-in?
The tortilla and bread exhibits were a ridiculous waste of space. I was even willing to accept them at first, but they were so lame I just felt "had".
The worst "surprise" was "Tough To Be A Bug". I'd heard this was a bit "intense" but I did not realize how-so. That show is just a cruel joke. I'm now "officially" tired of Disney "shows" that "spit" on me and poke me in the back and the ***. ENOUGH ALREADY, WE GOT IT.
At this point, what had seemed like a great day was turning into a complete nightmare. I had watched so many movies I felt like instead of visiting a "Theme Park", I had sat around on the couch all Saturday watching cable TV. At least my numb backside thought-so. My wallet, now $120 lighter did not.
We were all hungry, but the restuarants were either too expensive, or the wait was too long. 45 minutes and $4.00 for a corn dog was an indignity I chose to not endure.
On our way-out, we stopped to see the "Disney Electrical Parade(sic)". It was the one moment in the day when I actually saw "awe" in my daughter's eyes. Appropriate as it is a genuine Disney creation.
After that, my daughter begged us to go another ride. There were only two to choose from, so we decided on "Superstar Limo" again. We rode it 3 times in a row. Yeah, it is lame, but it is as close to "Disney" as we had experienced all-day, and there are some cute (albeit chea-eee-eee-p) special effects. It was the final indignity of the day. Riding and re-riding that lame attempt at a dark-ride because it was the closet we could get to the magic across the way.
On the way back to the car, we caught the magnificant Disneyland Fireworks show. Again, "awe" in my daughter's eyes. It takes real "Disney" magic to do that. California adventure has none of it. You guys were right. I'm sorry a doubted you for a minute.
I suggest that Disney takes "Hollywood Pictures Backlot", add a "real" show to the Hyperion and tack-on "Soarin" and "Grizzly" part of the existing Disneyland. Bulldoze the rest. Or better-yet, just open it up as part of Downtown Disney with paid rides. Most of it is just acrappy mall anyway.
Sorry this is so long. I just had to vent.
-Steve Fulton