What KatieSue ^^^ said. All of it!
Plus, even if there is a jungle gym out there, please mind your children and don't allow them to abuse the others. Or watch that your child isn't being abused!
What KatieSue ^^^ said. All of it!
Plus, even if there is a jungle gym out there, please mind your children and don't allow them to abuse the others. Or watch that your child isn't being abused!
There are 10 kinds of people in this world... Those who know binary and those who don't.
I was just reading this thread while waiting for a take out order at a local family style restaurant. This place has two seating sections. A main area and a smaller area off to the side. The side area is not walled off like a party room it's just off to the side. At one point they expanded and that's where the extra seating was.
As I came in about half the side space was taken up by a team, they had matching shirts, of maybe second or third graders who had pushed all the tables together. There were about 10 kids and a few adults. I place my order and sit down to wait. The entire team runs by me at least twice into the main part of the restaurant. I look over at one point and a few of them are crawling on the floor. Ok.
As I go to leave and walk through the area I notice that all the parents are gone. They left an entire team of grade school kids in a part of the restaurant not even visible from the other part to run amok with no supervision at all.
I agree that in a world where people took responsibility for themselves and their children, this would be a great solution. Unfortunately, we don't live in that world, and without some kind of imposed common sense, the rest of us suffer for the irresponsible behavior of others.
Parenting in the Parks[/url]
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with what happens to you.[/b]
"You should do totally do this thing, but just remember, it's going to suck eggs" #ThingsMyFriendsSayToMe
When my oldest was learning to walk, my MIL thought it was "cute" that he was toddling all over a Marie Calendars. I was horrified. She saw nothing wrong with this because he was adorably cute. I tried to ask her if she thought it would be quite as cute if it was a 10 year old annoying other diners. If not, my child needed to learn from day 1 the behavior acceptable to restaurants without some sort of magical exception because he was so little and cute. I think this is where a lot of parents go wrong - allowing cute behavior and not stopping it once the kids are no longer quite so cute.
We did take our kids to dine at the Contemporary's fancy restaurant when she was 1 month old and he was 2 1/2. They were both very well behaved. Usually we don't bother because for the price of fancy meals *I* want to have a good time. We weren't thinking of ruining anyone else's dinner at that meal, only that we were on the dining plan and it looked like it had a cool menu. We went to a decent number of other 2 credit meals that trip and my kids did not disturb any other diners based on their behavior (I can't control whether there mere presence was disturbing). The last night we were at the steakhouse at the Grand Floridian and I spent 3/4 of the meal outside with the stroller because I wasn't feeling well and one or both children weren't behaving. it was a lot easier to walk out of that meal which only costs meal credits, than it would have been if I had to pay the rack rate.
We took the kids to a black tie wedding a while ago and I coined the phrase "super fancy clothes = super fancy behavior." This has worked well since, as I remind the kids that my expectations for their behavior increase the nicer the clothes they are wearing.
I don't think she meant to insult or punish responsible parents (I certainly hope she didn't!) -- quite the opposite. I thought she was complimenting you by implying that responsible parents are part of the very-hard-working solution. Unfortunately, all too often, it just takes one out of control child/parent to overshadow all the well behaved kids and responsible parents in a room.
In an earlier post that I had quoted but I guess I erased from that reply, TCR advocated age-restrictions at restaurants because too many parents don't parent so just eliminate everyone, good and bad because there were too many bad. (The winky smilie looked wrong so I took it out.)
Parenting in the Parks[/url]
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with what happens to you.[/b]
"You should do totally do this thing, but just remember, it's going to suck eggs" #ThingsMyFriendsSayToMe
Was this the part you meant AdK? I thought this was an interesting statement. I think I could be a LOT better parent than I am. I am navigating that line of letting my son learn and explore while setting limits, yet not saying "No.No.No" to things that aren't that big of a deal. I admit it, I am trying to figure it out. But, I don't think I am a bad parent either. As a teacher, I would say most parents TRY to be the best parent they can be. Most succeed, I would say the 1 in 5 is more the failure rate- and that includes the ones who (it seems to me) could try harder!
Why do people go on The Amazing Race without bothering to learn how to drive a stick shift?
Please don't ask me how I feel, I feel fine.
Oh I cry a bit, I don't sleep too good, but I'm fine
Pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake...
Parenting in the Parks[/url]
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with what happens to you.[/b]
"You should do totally do this thing, but just remember, it's going to suck eggs" #ThingsMyFriendsSayToMe
It's a slippery slope, too. Because then you start to want to ban other people who lessen your experience. Large groups, people with loud voices, people who take up too much room for one reason or another, people who eat slowly, people who have questions for the waiter..... and on it goes.
If you don't want to be around a bunch of kids (of all ages!), I think it would be best to avoid the Disney venues.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world... Those who know binary and those who don't.
Please don't ask me how I feel, I feel fine.
Oh I cry a bit, I don't sleep too good, but I'm fine
Pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake...
Last edited by bennette; 10-08-2012 at 04:54 PM.
"The white coating is filmy and there’s another creamy layer in there that’s kind of like cream cheese or perhaps unscented foot balm." Cybele May; Candyblog.net
The most expensive thing I ever had was a free kitten.
Sadly, I think a lot of people operate on that logic. In general, not just with their kids in restaurants. I've seen several adults make public idiots of themselves lately. So sad when the kids can call put naughty adult behavior.
I do think kids need to learn how to dine out in nicer venues. We chose to leave ours home when we frequent a fine dining establishment right now, but the time will come when it's their turn. I'm just not ready to take that plunge yet. Plus, selfishly, I don't want to be a parent most of the times I go to nice restaurants. I want to be a wife, friend, etc.
If you can dream it, you can do it. ~Walt Disney
But my kids LOVE sporks! they think they are the coolest things ever so I dont think this would work. would there be a salad spork? our would you just use your spork for everything?
We took our girls (8 & 11 at the time) to Ca Grill for last year over spring break. we were a large party and we had a very LONG dinner. I think our ressie was at 5 and we left after the fireworks at 10p. The girls were so well behaved, even i was impressed. we have always taken them out to eat and we always expect them to behave, but i they have had their moments. They knew Ca Grill was a special occasion, we had talked to them about using their best manners etc before we went and we told them it would be a really long meal. They both LOVED it and had a great time. Our oldest is begging to go to Napa Rose. We told her a few year ago that when she's 13 we'll take her and unfortunately she has not forgotten. Dang, kids are expensive...
I was just using the one in five because the pp said one in five parents are actually good parents, and felt that was generous! Really, I think I actually have 1-2 parents a year who I seriously think could use some help- so, I guess that's more like one in fifteen!
Why do people go on The Amazing Race without bothering to learn how to drive a stick shift?
I think people have different levels of tolerance, too. I know I do. I'm not very tolerant of ill behavior in a restaurant, but I would guess that I'm less likely to react to my kids' shenanigans on the grocery store. I'm sure that's not what a lot of people want to hear, but a nice restaurant id a quiet place that other people go to in order to get away from their own kids. Plus, my definition of shenanigans is different from others as well, I'm sure.
If you can dream it, you can do it. ~Walt Disney
Exactly. I knew you were quoting. But 80% of all parents don't mind their children? Really? 80%? I deal with a lot of children and yes, I deal with parents who I think don't keep on them enough. But 80%???
Good point. I know I put up with more in a grocery store now than I would have imagined when my kids were younger. You have to pick your battles. That said, my definition of "more than I imagined" is still a pretty high bar. My kids will look at other kids in the grocery store and tell me: "You would KILL us if we did that." But then they turn around and do stuff that bugs me in other ways.
Parenting in the Parks[/url]
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with what happens to you.[/b]
"You should do totally do this thing, but just remember, it's going to suck eggs" #ThingsMyFriendsSayToMe
No, tea4two, I didn't mean to insult or offend anyone at all! I know that my opinions about children and how they should be raised are unpopular, and I accept that very few people are likely to agree with them. I just think that it's important for parents to consider the opinions of the childfree every once in a while.
This morning, a friend of mine posted this on facebook: "Being a pet owner is a choice! Forcing me to listen to your stupid dogs bark nonstop every morning at 5 am is not my choice." I said that I feel exactly the same way about infants and toddlers in fancy restaurants. That being said, I *do* appreciate the few parents who actually take the trouble to raise their children instead of just dragging them around like a purse or some other accessory.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world... Those who know binary and those who don't.
I agree. And, a year ago, before the hide and seek incident in the restaurant, I would have agreed with TCR with the percentages. However, I have since forced myself to start looking around at reality, adn found I was a little skewed. When I looked passed the kids who were misbehaving/crying, I found myself seeing the children who were sitting quietly.
Last week, MDM related a story to me of going to the bank. She was in line, and there was a mom in line in front of her whose child was named John. How did she know his name? His mom was yelling at him the whole time she was waiting. "John come over here, John stop that, John if you don't get down, you will be in trouble, John come over here now, John, I said NOW, ONE..... TWO.... You don't want me to get to three...." etcetcetc... In the mean time, another mother had 2 children standing quietly with her....
Planning 3 trips at once...
Oh, I HATE when they do that, Malcon10t. "If you don't stop that we're going to leave." "Do you want to leave? You need to stop that." "Sit down and eat or we're going to leave." At those times, I'm SOOOOO tempted to say to the Mom or Dad - "Would you leave already!" But I know that's going to go over like such a lead balloon with the parents of the complete angels. So I say it to whomever I'm with!
Cathy
I know. I have a family member who does that. If I said "If you don't stop, we are leaving", my kids knew we'd leave. I have walked out of grocery stores, Target, and other places. You only need to do it a couple times, and they learn. Or if you threaten and don't follow through, they also learn.
Planning 3 trips at once...
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