Today I saw USH's new show "Spiderman Rocks."
To put it politely, Spiderman does not rock.
First of all, Spidey is hardly in the thing. It's more like "Mary Jane Rocks, with a special appearance by Spiderman."
Secondly, there is absolutely no plot. After a few moments of dialogue, the rest of the show is non-stop music--pop songs that do nothing to advance the story. The Green Goblin appears on a slow-moving glider with no apparent motivation for attacking Spiderman.
Thirdly, this is not family-friendly entertainment. Peter Parker is shirtless for some time. Thugs trying to attack MJ sing the Ricky Martin tune "She Bangs." The Green Goblin tells Spidey that he's "****ed off." Mary Jane bumps and grinds, and in some sort of attempt to distract the Green Goblin, tells him, "Honey, you've hit the jackpot!" She then sings the chorus of "Lady Marmalade"--"Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?" The show concludes with a lengthy kiss between Spiderman and MJ.
Finally, the show suffers from a lack of focus. (I guess that happens when you have no plot!) One minute it's a musical, the next it's a stunt show--and the stunts themselves are clumsily executed. There is at one point a musical number that is several minutes long--obviously covering the costume change for Peter Parker as he becomes Spiderman--that is painfully bad. The poor cast tried to get the audience involved in clapping and met with only a lukewarm response.
The kids sitting behind me--both huge Spidey fans, as evidenced by their logo t-shirts and hats--sat silent through the entire show.
A couple of other items of note:
1. The Green Goblin in the show is the comic book version, not the film version. Universal owns the rights only to the comic book.
2. Spidey never does his trademark action, shooting a web. Instead, he struggles with a harness in order to swing around the stage.
I was disappointed, embarrassed, and mostly horrified.