Just the other day we was a-settin' 'round scratching ourselves, playing the banjo and wondering whatever became of Royce Mathew. If you've been a reader of this wildly popular column and its wildly popular predecessor Slug (God rest its soul), you don't need no introduction to Royce Mathew. You know him as the firebrand who got all up in Orlando city commissioner Vicki Vargo's grill for cozying up to the homo-haters at Exodus International by declaring an Exodus International Day in Orlando back in 2003. You also know him as the guy who bombarded commissioners with e-mails asking them to stop praying before meetings because of that whole church-state separation nonsense.

Ah, the good old days. More germane to this item, however, is Mathew's lawsuit against the mouse. Our man Royce claims those rat bastards at Disney stole his idea for a movie based on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride! (Cue Johnny Depp intro.) We wrote about his lawsuit back in 2004. And then, just the other day, Mathew called to update us on the suit. The short version: He's almost ready to file. (Full disclosure: We've heard that before.) And with Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest due in theaters this July, Mathew is doubly hot.

"My claim is that they should not be doing that movie," he says. "I own the right to that franchise. The facts will speak for themselves. There's a lot more to this story than I can speak about. I look forward to my day in court." And so do we, Royce.