I wanted to comment on the article where the person wrote:

"Should small children go to Disneyland? Of course! Should they be well behaved at all times? Of
course! Growing up my siblings and I attended Disneyland from the age of 3 on. I am the oldest
sibling and remember (with the confirmation of my parents) that never once did any of we
children have a "meltdown" or tantrum of any kind. If our family can do it, so can yours. No
excuses. A public tantrum because one is tired, cranky, or otherwise overexerted means that you
have never been taught to behave in private, either."


I just have to be sarcastic here and say that it must be really nice to be perfect.

In the world I live in, we do the best we can. Sometimes kids have tantrums. You deal with it and move on. Teaching children to behave is an ongoing process. (it's a skill even some adults have not mastered.) Expecting parents not to take their children to Disneyland until they can learn to behave perfectly is ridiculous and unrealistic. It has nothing to do with whether children have been taught to behave.

I will agree that some parents do not supervise their children enough. But I somehow don't buy the "we never had a meltdown of any kind" story.

Very well written justagrrl! I agree wholeheartedly.
-Julie

It's not the meltdowns so much that I mind, it's how the parent or guardian is handling it. Kids will have meltdowns. That's how it happens. It's when the adult is doing absolutely nothing about it that it bugs me. I've seen and felt sorry for parents who have tried to console/calm down their kids and it's just not happening. There's just so much you can do. On the other hand, I've seen kids screaming and yelling and running around and being destructive and getting in other people's way to the point where there's a danger that the child could get hurt, and the parent just sits there ignoring the behaviour. If they want to do that at home, that's fine (and yes, sometimes that works in a private setting), but I don't think that's cool in public. We were at a family restaurant over the weekend, and a few tables over, there was a family with two kids, one of which was under 2. She would scream at the top of her lungs periodically, and the parents would just ignore her, making no attempt to ask her to stop or anything. Family restaurant and all, but it still bugged me.

Being a parent...and having two kids who would sometimes have meltdowns...and one child who was the "perfect" travelling and restaurant child...I see both end of the spectrums.

It is unrealistic to think kids never have meltdowns. I truly believe older folk who say "Oh, our children NEVER had tantrums, or NEVER did that", just don't remember things as they were. Time does soften your memory on some things (I am not bashing older folks...I think they truly feel they do think they're kids never acted badly...but there must have been some occasions that they did. I have never met a perfect kid yet! ...(except me;)), they just don't remember them...course maybe I am wrong. Maybe my kids are the only ones who did have some meltdowns, ha,ha.
Heck...I have meltdowns!

And, I get a kick out of people...who have never had kids, who judge other parents and say "I would never let my kid do that...or this...or act this way..." Just wait. I used to do it too...all the time. And then I became a parent. Did I ever learn!! It's not as easy as just saying "oh this, and oh that..."

I get compliments all the time for my children's behavior...
but it was not an easy road. There have been lots of tantrums, beggings, crying...and their dad saying "How would you like to go outside to see the birds?"...his cue of "you are in trouble now...!"
His big rule also is..."I only tell you once". And they listened...at least to him (I am somewhat softer), because they knew what would happen if they asked again...(and no...he did not hit, nor do I).
And I have to say it again...
Parenting...it IS the toughest job around.

good for you justagirl, I agree with you.

I have to agree. Even the most well-behaved child can become over-stimulated, and the classic way for them to deal is to have a meltdown. It's not always that they are brats or undisciplined. Sometimes just not knowing how to express frustration will do it. I know I have left the mall and even the San Diego Wild Animal Park when mine has started up. Thankfully, she grew out of it. But saying that you shouldn't take kids that young to Disneyland or any other public place is ridiculous. How else are they going to learn the right way to behave in these types of situations?

Thanks for starting this thread justagrrl. Some of those letters just really irritated me that were in that article...and I thought the same thing about the "perfect" family. Give me a break. And as for kids not going to DL until they are 7. Yea right, like I would give up seeing my kids eyes light up when they see the magic every time they walk into the park. That would be like me saying "Ok, if you don't have children under the age of 10 or are not a child yourself under the age of 10, you do not know how to experience DL and should not be going." We all experience things differently and while my 4 y/o's experience may not be the same as a 25 y/o's it does not diminish or make his experience any less magical.

THANK YOU, justagrrl!

I was thinking the same thing.

You may or may not notice that I did not have a reply to that issue in David's column. I can't stand that debate. I will admit, before I had kids I "knew" more than I know now. I thought I had the answers.

Today, I still have a lot of good ideas, but they don't always work with my child!!!

Sure, I see parents all the time that I think could handle situations much better than they do. But painting all parents and all children with one brush is just wrong. I have a really hard time with people who think they have all the answers. Whether they're childless, have perfect children, or whatever, I personally think that the more intelligent people on Earth are the ones who can admit that they don't know everything, not those that assume they do!

I try really hard to not judge other parents' choices. Some parents may wait until their children are older to go to Disneyland. I took my sons each when they were around 3 weeks old. Parent needs to make the choice that is best for their families. I have a hard time saying that all childless individuals don't know what they're talking about. I think that's kinda insulting to a lot of my freinds to say that. But I will say this: My experiences have taught me a lot and my opinions have changed and evolved as I've had real-life experiences.

My son throws occasional fits that may or may not be described as tantrums (I've found that can be a subjective term!) I don't embarass easily. My attitude is: this tantrum is not going to get you your way. I won't let my son disrupt others in a show, but I'm not going to "give in" just because he's throwing a fit in public. If other people have a problem with that, that's THEIR problem, not mine. My job is to take care of my son. If you don't want to see the reality of life with little kids, don't go to places that might have little kids. And, yes, there are gonna be little kids at Disneyland, whether or not you think they should be there!

Anyway, I'm rambling. I think that reading some of these people's comments, debating this issue with them is a waste of time because they have all the answers. Can you tell it gets me annoyed? ;)

Adrienne K

Originally posted by adriennek
I have a really hard time with people who think they have all the answers. Whether they're childless, have perfect children, or whatever, I personally think that the more intelligent people on Earth are the ones who can admit that they don't know everything, not those that assume they do!

Did I ever mention that The Boy is a PERFECT child...


85% of the time!! :D


He has had the occasional public hissy, and when he does I do my best to get him to an area that might not be as stimulating to try to calm him down. What I do NOT do is buy him whatever he wants to make him happy. We play a game when we have to go to the store.
"Nickolas, I'm not buying you anything today."
"Mommy, can I have 1 thing?"
"Oh, alright, 1 thing, but what happens when you ask for 2?"
"I get NOthing."

It works great for the store, dunno yet if it will work for DL :D .


The angriest I ever got was at the Disney Store in the local mall. The Boy wasn't yet 2, he was in his stroller and he was plugged (pacifier). It was pretty crowded and a woman walked by with her child. The kid asked what he had in his mouth and before I could answer the mom said very snottily "He has a pacifier, which he is way too old for, YOU never used one of those nasty things."
My reply was knee jerk. "First, he isn't even 2 yet, and second, when I get to be your age, hopefully I will be as perfect as you, until then what right to you have to pass judgement on me?"

My point is, I guess, no one knows their child like their parent, and who are we to judge?

I can't stand to see an unsupervised kid getting away with everything, but if I see the parent doing everything they can to control the situation, I tend to be much less judgemental.

As parents we all do the best we can. Kids do have a hissy from time to time. It is fact. It is part of being a kid. DLR is tiring for adults, from a childs view it is mentally and physically exhausting.
Everytime we go I find myself adding time to our trips so that we can have a down time, be it napping or lingering over a quiet lunch. Leaving a kid home until he/she is old enough to appreciate it? Who knows what is best for the kid, a stranger who has none or that child's parents?

We waited until he was over 42" and 3 yrs old because we knew he would not understand that he couldn't ride certain things, that was our decision. Last year he still couldn't ride things with 48" requirements, but at least he was old enough to understand.

I take my children everywhere, and used this tactic the first (and only time) they had a public display of temper...

As the child screamed, yelled, kicked, etc... I stepped back and said in a very loud voice..."Excuse me, everyone...(insert name) has just decided that you need to share her anger with her...so if everyone would please look this way and watch her performance, it would be greatly appreciated...."

They stop immediately...

And they will have at least one thing to tell Oprah!

Originally posted by mickeymom
[B
As the child screamed, yelled, kicked, etc... I stepped back and said in a very loud voice..."Excuse me, everyone...(insert name) has just decided that you need to share her anger with her...so if everyone would please look this way and watch her performance, it would be greatly appreciated...."

They stop immediately...

! [/B]

The bad thing with this, is that a two year old could care less that people are watching. They want something, and they want it NOW. Or, sometimes, they are just too overloaded or over tired and can't calm down...and again, they don't have the reasoning to think "oh, people are watching, I need to stop". Small children's coping mechanisms are not that of a 5 year old's...which what you do in these cases might work (might not in some cases).
But, for little ones in long lines, or restaraunts when they are tired and hungry, I don't think this is going to work...in fact, it just might make the matters worse.

Course, every child, and every family is different. But, I know my children, when they were 18 months or 2 and a half, could not have cared less about having an audience.