:confused: Okay, my oldest (6 will 7 by the time we go) is the type of child that typically needs a push to try something new. After she tries it 95% of the time she loves it. However I have noticed that many parents get a bad rap for trying to "push" a child on to a ride that appears to be reluctant to try. My dd, really thinks she is scared of most new things until she is put in position to do it. I don't want to be "one of those" parents, but I wonder if they have unfairly received that title from those individuals that don't either have children or think they know how children should be encouraged. I know my daughter would love Splash Mountain, but all she sees is that big slide and that worries her. Thoughts?

My husband and I were talking about this last week on a parents only day at the park. I have no idea if it will work as I am years away from trying...

Go on Splash Mountain (this only works if you are going with another adult) and leave your daughter with another adult. When you get off talk about how great it was. Be very animated. Do rider switch. Have the other adult go too. Maybe leaving her out of the fun (not giving her the option to ride) will make it more intriguing.

It works with my husband (I do not leave him with another adult) who is not the biggest coaster fan. I let him know I don't expect him to ride anything he doesn't want to, but I really love coasters and if he would like to wait in line with me that would be great... I always tell him if he changes his mind, it's no big deal. That helps too. And now I can get him to try anything once.

My husband is a very brave man... he just gets motion sickness sometimes. Like 3 rides in a row on Calif. Screamin'.:(

We have always had a family "rule" that you have to ride each ride one time. If you don't like it, you don't have to ride it again. When DH tried to take our 6 year old on TOT for the first time, she backed out at the elevator doors. She finally rode it about an hour later and now it is her favorite ride.

We have always "encouraged" our kids to ride the things we know they'll like. Last time we were there, we encouraged our then-4yr daughter to ride Splash & Big Thunder. She was hesitant @ first, but after each one, came away wanting to ride again & again. We did not push her toward Tower of Terror even though she was tall enough because we did not feel she was quite ready for that experience. But she has loved Test Track as well since day 1.

This trip, though (she's 6), she was more than ready for ToT; she laughed & giggled all the way through Mission:Space--Orange, and was totally thrilled by Expedition Everest. Would she have been as gung-ho for all these new ones if she hadn't already conquered Splash & BTMRR last time?? Who knows, I do know she had a BETTER time last trip because she DID ride them. And she was very proud to tell people that she did.

I've known some parents who let the kids drive those decisions entirely, & if they encounter any resistance at all completely submit to the kids wishes. I'm not sure that's the way the kids need it to be done. That's why we're the parents & they're the kids. They need guidance (not just in theme parks, but in all of life, but that's a different discussion;)). But we still need to be prudent & wise in our decisions, and in the way we do it. :D

Only you can know your dd's reactions.

My parents bodily dragged me onto Matterhorn when I was 8 because "we had to go as a family". I remember completely losing it, and I can still recall the terror even though I *know* its not that scary, and don't remember it being really that bad. Somehow the not being in control and respected was petrifying then. I still can't ride Matterhorn.

A lot of parents have success with the "just try it once" rule. So, some kids would do well. But, I don't force my kids. There are so many rides that they do want to go on, and so many things they do want to try. If they're reluctant, thats one thing. Wait in line...there's always the panic exit. But forcing or pushing when they really don't want to is another.

I have used several of these methods. I tell the kids they should try it once, if they don't like it I wouldn't ask them to do it again. I have even given them the "out" of when we get to the part where you load onto the ride they don't HAVE to ride it, but would love for them to try it.

It was said before though, you are the only one who knows your child and if you know you need to encourage them, then do so. It really doesn't matter what any one else thinks, because chances are you will never see those people again after you leave Disneyland.

Only you can know your dd's reactions.

My parents bodily dragged me onto Matterhorn when I was 8 because "we had to go as a family". I remember completely losing it, and I can still recall the terror even though I *know* its not that scary, and don't remember it being really that bad. Somehow the not being in control and respected was petrifying then. I still can't ride Matterhorn.

A lot of parents have success with the "just try it once" rule. So, some kids would do well. But, I don't force my kids. There are so many rides that they do want to go on, and so many things they do want to try. If they're reluctant, thats one thing. Wait in line...there's always the panic exit. But forcing or pushing when they really don't want to is another.

I don't either. My older daughter is not particularly fearful, in general, and loves certain rides, such as Soarin', but she will articulate pretty clearly, the types of rides she doesn't like, and why. She's fine with height and spinning, but not drops. I don't force her to go on rides I know she won't enjoy, just as I would not appreciate being pushed to go on an attraction I know will make me feel uncomfortable. It's not much of an issue with us, because my husband and I can't handle coasters, drops, spins, etc., the way we used to. It's not us pushing the kids, more the other way around. My kid likes the tea cups, but I have a hard time with the spinning. Mostly, we are in agreement that we are not going to do certain rides, because nobody particularly enjoys them. My younger daughter, on the other hand, is a different personality, and she is really scared to try something new, at an amusement park. If you (push or encourage) her to try a ride outside of her pretty narrow comfort zone, she will, likely get very upset, ruining everybody's day. That does not apply to everything in her life, mostly just rides, so it is not that big a deal. If she got hysterical when she had to go to school, that would be an issue, but she's fine with doing the things she needs to do. Whether or not she chooses to go on a ride is not really a barometer of her willingness to try new things in general, and she is progressing at her own rate. There's plenty enough for her to do. If a child refused to do everything, or most things, then it might affect everyone's vacation, but usually it's possible to accomodate everyone. If, knowing your kid and knowing the ride, you feel comfortable that the child will enjoy it, then it's fine to encourage them to try it. If you are just as sure that the kids won't like it, don't push. Maybe try again when they are older, or they indicate a willingness to try new things.

I like to think I'm not a forcer but I know I'm a coercer! LOL

If a kid is crying or really adament, I just won't do it. I hate it. It kills me. But. I don't.

I will share this story: Last time we went to DLR with just me and the boys, my oldest and I really wanted to go on HM. But Mr. Middle did NOT want to go. My oldest and I worked it. We told him it wasn't bad, we described every scene to him - Nope. He was FIRM.

Well then we were walking by it and he saw it and.... "Hey, I DO want to go on it!"

I know every kid is different.

With my oldest son, preparing him ahead of time really works well. I like the idea of the "try it once" "rule" - if preparing the child ahead of time would work.

A few more thoughts:

Tell her that she doesn't have to make a decision right away. Tell her she has to stand in line with the family.

Show her videos from YouTube of Splash Mountain. If nothing else the song is sweet and she can see that there's more to it than "just" the big drop. Now. There's also that pesky thing about the dark drop she doesn't know about. Frankly, I'd tell her rather than have her be surprised and freaking out.

And finally, but not least, check out Lisa Perkis's article about dealing with children's anxiety issues. (http://www.mouseplanet.com/articles.php?art=pp050614lp)


Adrienne

All great suggestions. I think I will try for the "try it once" rule but have DH come along (he's petrified of SM) that way when we get to the chicken exit, he can take her if need be. DD resists most new things, except strangely her first day of school and swimming lessons. Then once she tries it, she finds she likes it. I guess we will see....

I have always encouraged my kids to ride, but never made them or pushed them. Quinn wanted to ride TOT last time, made it to the elevator doors, then backed out. I was fine with that.

I will tell you though, I went to Hershey Park yesterday and was the chaperone for six 11 year old girls. It is amazing what a little peer pressure does. I am certain that a few of those girls (Quinn included) would never have rode some of the bigger roller coasters if their peers weren't riding. Quinn rode absolutely everything.

........and loved it.

I will tell you though, I went to Hershey Park yesterday and was the chaperone for six 11 year old girls. It is amazing what a little peer pressure does. I am certain that a few of those girls (Quinn included) would never have rode some of the bigger roller coasters if their peers weren't riding. Quinn rode absolutely everything.

........and loved it.

We went to a local fair today, which had a bunch of carnival rides. We took one of my daughter's friends, and bought them each a wristband, which would allow them to ride as much as they wanted. My daughter's friend is quite a bit more adventerous than my daughter on rides, and I encouraged my daughter to try some new ones. She did a few of the rides, but not that many, and her friend was a darling for not teasing her or pushing her. A lot of the rides involved spinning and going backward, it was a warm day, and she was probably afraid of feeling ill. I really thought that she would try some of the rides with her friend, and she even stood in line for a couple, before deciding not to go on. She asked me to go on a couple with her, and I told her I would feel too dizzy (which I knew I would). I was happy that the other child was very polite and easily appeased with other activities.

Growing up my father did not give you an option. You were riding what he told you to ride... It worked well... FOR ME.

I will not do that with my daughter. Every kid is different and I think I will need to worry about explaining why mom can ride and she can't.

My father did not want me to be afraid of anything. His heart was in the right place. I think that is what makes the difference.

P.S. I am a huge fan of Lisa Perkis' article about dealing with children's anxiety issues. It helped with my fear of flying. :)

We went to a local fair today, which had a bunch of carnival rides. We took one of my daughter's friends, and bought them each a wristband, which would allow them to ride as much as they wanted. My daughter's friend is quite a bit more adventerous than my daughter on rides, and I encouraged my daughter to try some new ones. She did a few of the rides, but not that many, and her friend was a darling for not teasing her or pushing her. A lot of the rides involved spinning and going backward, it was a warm day, and she was probably afraid of feeling ill. I really thought that she would try some of the rides with her friend, and she even stood in line for a couple, before deciding not to go on. She asked me to go on a couple with her, and I told her I would feel too dizzy (which I knew I would). I was happy that the other child was very polite and easily appeased with other activities.

On the bus ride home from Hershey Park, there was a lot of comparing what this one got on vs what another got on. One little girl in particular was being mean, she kept saying (at the top of her voice), we couldn't get on the Stormrunner because Caroline was too scared. I finally said something in general not to make fun of people.

We just went to Disneyland with my nine year old cousin. It was her first visit. She was fearful to go on things and we kinda pushed her to try Indiana Jones. She was very mad afterwards and pouted. Ug! We went to the park for two days and on the second day, we went on Soarin for the second time, we had gone the day before but the second time, my cousin just freaked. She started crying and shaking and saying how she was afraid she was going to fall. Her Dad and I were looking for a CM to tell that we wanted off but the ride was starting. I held her hand and her leg to give her the sense that she was secure and she said she felt better. We were really surprised at that reaction! She had rode it before, we didn't expect that......

I guess you just have to feel out the situation and not push too hard. We were shocked at how mad she was after Indiana. I thought she would be ok once it was over but no.

She had never been to Disneyland before and her first comment was, "I don't want to go. It's going to be boring. Is it a just a bunch of scary rides?". Well, after Indiana we didn't take her on anything else scary. We did go on Haunted Mansion but I explained how it is my favorite ride, and I am the biggest chicken. I told her that it wasn't scary like things coming out and trying to scare you, you just watched the ghosts sing and fly around. She ended up liking the ride and said it was one of her favorites.