I am very excited about going to WDW with my 3 yr old son. At home we have a time out corner if necessary. What do you do as forms of discipline for your young ones in Disney?

I am very excited about going to WDW with my 3 yr old son. At home we have a time out corner if necessary. What do you do as forms of discipline for your young ones in Disney?I don't really remember having to use much discipline at Disney. Usually, the firm "This is not acceptable" was enough. I would probably use the "Let's sit over here til you can get yourself together". At Disneyland, which isn't as far from the hotels as WDW, depending on the issue at the moment, I would probably head back to the hotel if things were out of hand. I would never use the hotel as a threat. Just figure afternoons is time for napping/swimming/time for relaxing. Give them a down time.

Don't. Make. Promises. You. Won't. Keep.

I hear that so often at DLR.

We are in a place of time-outs with our three-year-old and they're working remarkably well. It's scaring me how well they work.

He'll start to do his thang - whining or crying or screaming to get his way - or whatever. And one of us takes him for a time out. He sits on a lap facing away from us or sits on a seat and I turn away from him (but I can still see him.) He calms down. He realizes he's missing out. He realizes the hooey failed or he's not getting 'his' way. We go back.

I know not every kid will respond as well, but it's been very successful with our newly 3-y/o.

For my 8-y/o we'll just tell him Ok, time out from rides. That's probably too much for a 3-y/o. We make the 8-y/o sit off some rides (or all the rides for the rest of the day.) We've had to do this - ONCE. Since then, we've said "Ok, next time we talk to you, no more rides for the rest of the day," and he's turned it around. He KNOWS.

Adrienne

We've been doing the "you want to stand in the corner?" thing with our 3yo. He knows that when we pull that threat out we mean it and have no problem finding a corner somewhere. The majority of the time, though, we dont have to follow through, thank goodness.

We had no Disney problems :) But, our first rule is to avoid requiring discipline. I find that when our kids misbehave, its usually because we've missed a need. (they're over tired, or over stimulated, or being pushed to do more than they are comfortable with. I can't really fault a kid for crying when they've stated nicely they need to go home and I say no, we're staying, iykwim.)

Anyways...in public, if discipline is necessary, I've always found a curb for my kid to sit on. At Disney (or other busy places) I would choose a curb beside a bench, where the child is safe from being stepped on and has limited visibility. I find that immediate action is much more important than "proper" action. (In other words, having to sit down in the middle of the playground for a time out before we leave has more impact than packing up and going to the car; if there's a distraction before the "discipline" the point is lost. My oldest is nine and still responds better to an immediate reaction than to lost priviliges.)

Another option at Disney is to remove a child from line, and let them lose the privilige of the ride while everyone else enjoys themselves.

:eek: That's something I hadn't thought of, since our first trip, DS was 6, and the second he was 8 and the baby was 18 months, so discipline really wasn't too much of an issue. This time, we'll have a 3 and a half year old, who is very "spirited" and energetic. I will have to plan a strategy to handle meltdowns and tantrums!

However, I thought this was funny and wanted to share it: I was making dinner the other day, and 3 year old DD started fitting about something (like little ones do) but was kind of gearing up into tantrum mode. 9 year old DS very calmly said to her, "You need to calm down right now, or I'm going to call Cinderella and tell her you're acting up," and DD immediately stopped her snitting and calmed down! I thought it was a pretty clever way to nip a tantrum in the bud. :)

I've started the whole "take away a favorite toy" and he'll get it when he behaves thing. Maybe my husband will chime in with his ideas on the subject.

I'm a big fan of "earning" coupons that can be exchanged for treats/souveniers. You can also take one away if need be. I agree that knowing your kids and trying to keep to schedule that suits them is the key. If they go to bed early don't try to squeeze in PM EMH.

HTH

I'm a big fan of "earning" coupons that can be exchanged for treats/souveniers. You can also take one away if need be.

That works with my older kids but it's still a bit abstract for my 3-y/o. He needs something more immediate to connect the behavior to the consequence.

Adrienne

I'm a big fan of "earning" coupons that can be exchanged for treats/souveniers. You can also take one away if need be. I agree that knowing your kids and trying to keep to schedule that suits them is the key. If they go to bed early don't try to squeeze in PM EMH.

HTHI have a hard time with if they did something well and earned something, taking it away after they do something negative. We've done the roll of quarters for the drive and every time they asked "How much longer/further, etc?" they gave us back a quarter.

I also agree with someone who posted who said we need to recognize signs things are going wrong LONG before they are out of control. I know MDM needs a protein breakfast. If she hasn't had somethnig before 10am, and we are at the park, she will have a tantrum. (And she is 20...) I've learned to recognize the signs before we are getting to the destruction of the trip phase, and she is learning to communicate the "I'm getting pissy" phase.

Disneyland and World are overwhelming, and 3-5yos don't do overwhelming well. Make sure they have play time in their day (not ride to ride, but down time play time.) Sitting on a curb works, or even taking them into a lobby area that is quiet.

I also agree with someone who posted who said we need to recognize signs things are going wrong LONG before they are out of control. I know MDM needs a protein breakfast. If she hasn't had somethnig before 10am, and we are at the park, she will have a tantrum. (And she is 20...) I've learned to recognize the signs before we are getting to the destruction of the trip phase, and she is learning to communicate the "I'm getting pissy" phase.

So Nice I'll Say It Twice.

Adrienne "String Cheese Is My Friend" K

I've started the whole "take away a favorite toy" and he'll get it when he behaves thing. Maybe my husband will chime in with his ideas on the subject.

At one point this evening, I threatened to go pull the head off of one of his toys, but it did make sense in context... :)

-Jeff

I've started the whole "take away a favorite toy" and he'll get it when he behaves thing. Maybe my husband will chime in with his ideas on the subject.Just watch out for when he tells you he doesn't care for that. I found (and this was a long time ago as my kids are now young adults) that this gave them ammo. Sometimes it would escalate the issue. And it didn't give way to what the issue was to begin with. We used (and I am a firm believer in) 1-2-3 Magic, which is much more than counting to 3. And at Disneyland and WDW it is difficult to take a favorite toy away, especially if they are in a stroller. And threatening to decapitate a toy, ROTF!! Wait another year when he then gets the scissors and tells you to do it. Like I said, I have 4, one of whom was/is severe ADHD. The stories we could tell...

We tell our kids (3 and 2) the rules before we even take them into the park. I will say, o.k., before we go into the park, we need to understand the rules. Mommy will not tolerate running away, screaming, crying, whining; etc. WE will all have a good time! We will tell Mommy when we are hungry, have to potty, are tired, thirsty; etc.

Usually, its not that long. The rules are usually the things I know from past experience - like running away, whining for us to buy something, or throwing a tantrum when it is time to leave.

At the end of the rules, both kids have to say they accept the rules or they can't go. (ITS NEVER happened where they couldn't go - - they always agree!). I even make Daddy and Mommy agree to the rules.

It works really, really well for my kids. When they start to act up, I say - remember the rules? We agreed you were not going to do this - then I threaten the consequence. (i.e., sitting out the ride, leaving the park, or whatever).

We took the kids to WDW in September - they were 2 and 1. There was only one time where my son got out of hand - running away - and we sat out the ride together. It was pretty much my fault - he was hot, tired, and hat been giving clues that he was about to lose it (we thought if he got in the ride, he'd be better). Anyhow, after we sat out the ride, he was much better.

Prevention always works. Remember, too, that at 3 1/2, your kid is learning to be responsible and independent - so, if you involve him in the decision making process, that sometimes alleviates problems. (Like, "O.K., we each will pick a ride in Fantasyland - Mommy will go first, you'll go second). I find that when my son is involved and his choices are valued, he really behaves well.

Good luck and have fun!

Just came back from trip with my almost 4 year old and it was perfect. We brought a stroller from home but never once unloaded it from the car. I let her dictate the day!! She ran EVERYWHERE and all the while carting her belongings in a teeny backpack. When she was tired and needed to sit, she said I would like to sit over THERE right about ..... NOW (it's funny from a wee one! LOL) and when she was hungry, which was about every 60-90 minutes (prolly from all the running!) she said she needed lunch or a snack and we stopped right then. Once it got to be about 6 or 7, she would say I would like to go to the hotel and swim and we would do that as well. I was very impressed with her. The only thing that made me steam was her newish habit (started it about 2 months ago) of questioning every little thing. You know what I mean-the whys. As in, why do I need to go to the bathroom? Why do I need to wash my hands? Why do I need to sit on my bottom in this ride? Why can't I pick my nose? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY! LOL It was a lot of fun but whoooo those whys!!!!
So, what worked for me-
I made a plan and then basically threw it away when we got there. SHE doesnt realize we didnt ride the Jungle Cruise and the Sun Wheel, even tho she loves them and has ridden them before.
I went at her pace. When to run, when to eat, when to potty (tip-ALWAYS potty before you get in the Dumbo line!!!), when to leave the park

And something we do at home, we do a "visual" of choices. When she needs to decide between 2 things (I never give more than 2 options, just boggles her down when I do!) I hold one hand out, palm up and say We can stay at DL and then hold out the other hand, palm up and say Or we can go back to the hotel, all the while keeping both hands up. She attaches each choice with a hand and then chooses the hand she wants. Is awesome at home and worked like a CHAMP at DL!

I made a plan and then basically threw it away when we got there. SHE doesnt realize we didnt ride the Jungle Cruise and the Sun Wheel, even tho she loves them and has ridden them before.
I went at her pace.

This, I think, is the key. Dh and I have fond memories of childhood trips...in between the yelling and the crying that aren't so fond memories ;)

We dropped the "lets do *everything* since we're here and we paid for it" mentality. Sure, its a once in a lifetime trip...but we don't want our kids to feel like they have to squeeze every last experience out of anything. We just relaxed and followed their lead. It wasn't a trip we'd have planned...but they had FUN and were able to do so many things with more patience than anticipated.

Mistofviolets

We have DONE the trips where we HAVE to get everything in (or, at least that's how it FEELS! LOL) and everyone has left the parks feeling grumpy and dissatisfied. I'm the mom who says "try it once and if you dont like it, then you never have to go on it again". Our one and only all 4 of us family trip was February of 2006 and we stood in the line for the non-moving gondola with our 2 daughters, one 6 and one 2.5 and the 6 year old FREAKED the entire time in line. Didnt want to do it, we were terrible for making her, etc. As soon as we were on it and we moved, she LOVED it! LOL Go figure!! This is the one and only time I have "forced" my now 7 year old to ride a ride that she ended up loving. Forcing, whether gentle or firm, just ends in tears and kids who now declare themselves "NOT a Disney person" (which is my 7 year old calls herself now.) LOL If i could go back and change those trips, I would. So i guess the saying is true-you live and learn. HAHA

Mistofviolets

We have DONE the trips where we HAVE to get everything in (or, at least that's how it FEELS! LOL) and everyone has left the parks feeling grumpy and dissatisfied.

LOL...exactly what dh and I wanted to avoid (and we did!) I made my 4 y/o wait in line, but if she didn't want to ride with a little coersing, we didn't push (my parents bodily put me on matterhorn when I was 8...although I can look back and know it was not that scary, I still can't stand roller coasters.)

But...my ILs have horrid memories of trying disney with their kids, and kept saying ours were too young and predicting tears. But, they were actually better behaved there than anywhere else. And I think it was because we tuned in to them; and made it a vacation for them. (and I don't mean spoiling, there was no influx of "stuff" or indulgence of sweets.) It was awesome. I wish we could get them to act that way all the time!

Just watch out for when he tells you he doesn't care for that. I found (and this was a long time ago as my kids are now young adults) that this gave them ammo. Sometimes it would escalate the issue. And it didn't give way to what the issue was to begin with. We used (and I am a firm believer in) 1-2-3 Magic, which is much more than counting to 3. And at Disneyland and WDW it is difficult to take a favorite toy away, especially if they are in a stroller. And threatening to decapitate a toy, ROTF!! Wait another year when he then gets the scissors and tells you to do it. Like I said, I have 4, one of whom was/is severe ADHD. The stories we could tell...

YES! YES! YES! 1-2-3 Magic is the absolute best discipline approach I have ever found, even better than Love and Logic. I use it in my special education classroom and with my own kids. It truly is magic! I was just saying the other day that it is so easy to do that it feels like you aren't really doing anything. It works so well, most of the times my students and my own kids only get to one before straightening up. I love it!

I have a hard time with if they did something well and earned something, taking it away after they do something negative.

Yeah, me too. DH was raised that way, in every way. You would not believe the number of times each child has been disowned, written out of the will, etc. (and now FIL has died, and there's NO money, only 6 years of un-filed taxes, so the YEARS of toeing the line for fear of no inheritance makes them sick) I feel it's a short-term "fix", but doesn't help anything in the long run.


We had no Disney problems :) But, our first rule is to avoid requiring discipline. I find that when our kids misbehave, its usually because we've missed a need. (they're over tired, or over stimulated, or being pushed to do more than they are comfortable with. I can't really fault a kid for crying when they've stated nicely they need to go home and I say no, we're staying, iykwim.) .

Woo, isn't that the truth??!!! Almost every meltdown my just-turned-3 year old has had can be traced back to our missing something we COULD have caught. But we're just not THAT vigilant every moment of the day. :eek:

But at DL, we'll try. :)


(otherwise taking notes on various things to try IF boy-o goes wild on our trip)