Parents: Harness for Child?

[MagicFan]

My husband and I and our four year old daughter will be visiting WDW in November.

I am so conflicted regarding using a child harness. I keep changing my mind.

Our DD isn't the greatest at holding hands and loves to run ahead, and to be honest, doesn't alway listen. Being at the mall w/her can be nerve racking, so I can't imagine what she will be like in the Magic Kingdom.

We are going to bring her stroller, but she won't be in that the whole time, and I don't want her to be.

I just feel that I won't enjoy myself and will just be a nervous wreck if I don't use a harness in addition to holding her hand.

Has anyone used a child harness in the Parks?

Anyone have Pros/Cons?

Thank you for your help.

[Drince88]

There've been a few threads about these in the Parenting forum (where this thread was moved to).

I'm not a parent -but I can totally appreciate the need for them with some kids. One of your primary jobs as a parent is to keep your kid safe. And if that means 'disapproving looks' from total strangers who don't know your daughter from Eve, then I say, let the looking commence!

The ones that I've seen in the parks that look like the kids are enjoying the most are the ones that look like little animal backpacks, with Mom/Dad then holding the 'tail'.

[aymieb]

You should do what you feel most comfortable with, regardless of what onlookers might think. Yes, there is a debate about them and yes, people will look at you and judge but at the end of the day, it is about keeping your daughter safe. Who cares what others think? You will be in good company as well as there are A LOT of kids in harnesses at the park - for good reason. There are big crowds that are not always mindful of little ones and they can get lost. So, do what you and your husband feel is best - that is the right decision! :)
Amy (mom to a 2 year old and 4 month old. no harness yet but never say never!:))

[adriennek]

Well, I'm sure you will hear some strong opinions against harnesses. Not from me.

I will say that my experience with harnesses is/was with my now-8-y/o when he was 2-y/o. I had two different kinds of harnesses -

The wristband style which had an elasticized "leash" - I love the elasticized leash because of the 'give', but I hated the wrist part. It was rough on his wrist and he could take it off. I found it was a lot more practical to wrap it around his overalls in the back or on his pant belt loops.

But not every set of pants has belt loops. So that's why the over the shoulder harness style is more flexible. My problem with that style was that the leash was webbed material with no give. So, I did what any practical mother with two different leashes would do: I took the web-style leash off the harness and attached the wrist elasticized leash.

I've seen the backpack/monkey style harnesses and those are pretty cute. I think that for a 4-y/o I might get a backpack or a fanny pack and attach the wrist elasticzed leash to that.

Adrienne

[jengold29]

I'm going to be one of those people who is strongly against it, particularly if the child is as old as 4. I think that you can practice the behavior you need with her and tell her that she'll be confined to the stroller if she can't cooperate.

My ds (now 9) was a runner (and is ADHD and mild autism) so I understand your feelings, but I think you can keep her safe without the leash.

[yohomama212]

On days when it's just me and the two kids, I definatley put harnesses on both of them (DS is 4.5, DD is now 21 months). DS is prone to wandering and often doesn't hear me well in large crowds (I'm definately having his hearing checked at his next appointment). DD would follow her brother into the Rivers of America if I let them go. Besides, I can't move very fast in my very round state right now! If there's two or more adults, the harnesses can vary. Sunday after church for lunch and a couple rides, probably not. An all day family reunion, more likely. By the end of the afternoon, all the adults have lost their arms due to excessive carrying. I've heard all the leash comments out there, even had my kids get down on their hands and knees to act like dogs, it's definately better than a missing kid!

Liz :cool:

[odiedragon]

Where can I get one of the animal-backpack harnesses? Or, what are they called so I can Google them?

We can probably keep track of the older one alright, she's tall for her age. But I could see the benefits of getting one for her sister.

[tchatters]

Be very cautious in crowds! I travel with my friend who's daughter is 4 and autistic and they use one. She has been hurt before in a large crowd where she got too far out front, fell down and couldn't get up because the "leash" is tight. Finishing a parade at Six Flags, an lady also wasn't looking where she was going and clothslined herself on the rope piece, knocking my friend's daughter to the ground, really hard.

You have to do what you have to do, but I'd say the stroller is safer in any crowd!

[mommy-san]

Our puppy backpack (harness) is from target and it is Eddie Bauer brand. $10.00 I think.

[Koukla]

I've heard all the leash comments out there, even had my kids get down on their hands and knees to act like dogs, it's definately better than a missing kid! Liz :cool:

Liz, I love your kids! :D Oh that is funny! I must admit, when those leashes first came out I, too, would look twice at someone using one with their child, but never would comment aloud or pass judgment on them. My parents (mostly mom) had my younger brother and I so disciplined that we knew better than to wander off--one of her looks or the mention of us getting it with the hair brush was all it took to keep us in line.

That is, until the day when I was, at times, solely responsible for twin 2-year-old rambunctious boys at DLR and I was wishing I had just such a device to keep them at my side! :D

With a 4-year-old, personally I would bring the leash with me and tell her if she does try to run ahead of you and refuses to hold your hand, then you will have no problem taking it out and using it.

Then again, I don't have kids of my own so don't listen to me. Listen to all the smart parents like Adrienne and Liz, and listen to what you're saying to yourself. If you're going to worry and fret, which will hinder your enjoyment of WDW, use the leash! :D Precious cargo always deserves the utmost care and protection. ;)

[Malcon10t]

I used one with my son, even when he was in the stroller, as he was one who would just suddenly be "gone". Major Houdini. He wore his in the stroller and while walking. I would ignore people who give you the looks or feel she should be able to mind. Disneyland, while one of the safer places for a child to be lost, is still very scary when you are seperated. All it takes is one second. Sure, after they are lost you can confine them to the stroller, but that is after the fact. I vote to use the harness if you feel your child would be safer with it.

[adriennek]

Where can I get one of the animal-backpack harnesses? Or, what are they called so I can Google them?

I googled 'Child harness" and found some. I don't have one, I've just seen them on kids at Disneyland.

Adrienne

[Malcon10t]

My parents (mostly mom) had my younger brother and I so disciplined that we knew better than to wander off--one of her looks or the mention of us getting it with the hair brush was all it took to keep us in line. My #1, 2, and 4 were like that. #1 was never more than 2-3 feet from me. #3 was an entirely different story. ADHD with severe impulse behavior, he acted, then thought. He wore the leash IN the stroller, and I learned to know what he was wearing so WHEN (not if) he was lost I could describe him. People can blame the parents all they want, say we are lazy or what ever, I don't care. I know I was a great parent. And my child needed the leash...

Side story, #3 was about 2yo. I had him in the stroller, with the leash on. It was a wrist one and he could take it off, but took work. I always wore the other end so I could feel when he started messing with it. Well, I needed to use the restroom and left the boys with their dad. I gave him the leash and said "Put it on"... He didn't like it, so he put it on the stroller, with the stroller faced away from him.... (Can you see where this is going...) I come out of the bathroom to find my #1 child and his dad sitting there with an empty stroller, with a leash attached to the stroller. (We were at the bathrooms in Adventureland.) We found #3 down by ROA. Scariest day of my life. And the ONLY time he was ever lost at Disneyland. (He's 18 now...)


With a 4-year-old, personally I would bring the leash with me and tell her if she does try to run ahead of you and refuses to hold your hand, then you will have no problem taking it out and using it. I wouldn't threaten her with it, I would just make it part of the first day. If you find she isn't running ahead or having other issues, you can just quietly "forget it" later. But I wouldn't make it a "you're being bad, so we have to". Make it something fun. It gives her freedom.

BTW - We often see little kids running wild at Disneyland, and getting injured because no one was really watching them. Its then, my daughter often comments we have a spare leash....

[Boo's Mommy]

I have a child harness (the backpack style) for each of my kids -2 yrs and 4 yrs. and quite frankly, yes, i hate the scornful looks and comments i get from other people. But it is a lifesaver to let the kids walk, but within distance from you. A lot of people don't understand the difficulty to discipline certain types of kids, not everyone has little angels. And as another note, i get the same scornful looks and comments from other people when i lock them into the strollers and they are writhing and screaming from being locked down. it's a darned if you do and darned if you don't situation.
But to echo the other parents that use them, it's better to have a leashed child than a lost child. My children aren't the kind that get scared when lost, they just go find other kids and people to play with, which is definitely scary for me, which is why i dress us all the same on any outings....makes them easier to find....oh, i digress...

[adriennek]

I have learned that kids just flat out, straight up, have different personalities. And so do parents! And just because parents and kids are different doesn't mean that one style is better or worse than others, as long as the child is healthy, happy, safe and secure.

When I'm busy pointing a finger at someone else, there are four more aimed right at me. (I'm not saying anyone on this thread is pointing fingers, btw, just discussing those that think they need to give other parents "the look".)

I'm more bothered by what people think when my children are rude or disrespectful or if they get injured, than what they think when I'm keeping track of them and they're safe ;) It's not always easy but I try to ignore "looks". All that time spending paying attention to what my kids and I doing - there out to be a better use of one's time. ;)

Adrienne

[VickiC]

Ised the harness often with eldest and only a few times with my youngest. I never got these looks and comments others have talked about, I must look too scary. :-) I hate strollers and would much rather use a harness.

[MickeyDogMom]

I know I was a great parent.

Ahhhahahahahahahahaha ROTFLMBO!!!!! Now I know where my brother gets his ego! I can start with a few stories if you like?? (BTW- I'm her daughter and she's got nothing on me :~D )


BTW - We often see little kids running wild at Disneyland, and getting injured because no one was really watching them. Its then, my daughter often comments we have a spare leash....

I think the leash for kids is a 100% an excellent idea, (but like for the dog), it's only good when used and used properly. I've seen it used as a tie-out and a restraining device for unruly children. But some just need that extra reminder of "Oh, we're going this way". I would rather a kid be straining on a harness to get to the ROA than a unharnessed kid to be in the ROA. My leash is a European leash (6-purpose) and it's for my dogs, but I offer the other end to parents all the time (j/k). My dog won't go anywhere, so neither will their kids. :D

[adriennek]

Ahhhahahahahahahahaha ROTFLMBO!!!!! Now I know where my brother gets his ego! I can start with a few stories if you like?? (BTW- I'm her daughter and she's got nothing on me :~D )

Well how did you turn out so terrific if she wasn't a good parent??

Adrienne
;)

[hrhlaurie]

When we take our almost 4 yo grandaughter this year we'll use a stroller and a harness or handholder or whatever we need to do to focus on the park and having fun instead of worrying she'll get lost or knock something over in a store or whatever. Little children are impulsive and you may think you've prepared them, coached them, trained them or have the best kid in the world and if they see something exciting in Disneyland they'll want to run over and see it and then they're lost or may get run down by a stroller or crowd.

Actually, I would prefer to see more kids on "leashes" than hearing their parents screaming at them to come back, behave, "counting to 3", etc. Everyone needs to do what works best for their own family to keep their kids safe and make sure a great vacation stays that way.

[lauras5boys]

I personally prefer the stroller because those leashes do get tangled up on things (and people) in crowds. But the animal backpacks are pretty cute. My boys would never go for it but they are cute.

[HobbitFeet]

Liz, I love your kids! :D Oh that is funny! I must admit, when those leashes first came out I, too, would look twice at someone using one with their child, but never would comment aloud or pass judgment on them.

When they first came out? :D

I was born in 1969, and my brother in '72, and my mom used harnesses on us when we were toddlers. They aren't anything new, not at all. :D

What IS new is the cuteness of them. Our pictures (taken at the beach, and my mom had the two Alaskan malamutes on their leads under her foot, most likely, while taking the picture) show ugly black harnesses...it's nice that I can have a powder blue one (Safety 1st) or a little bear that rides on DS's back (Eddie Bauer brand, from Target). For DS's personality they haven't yet, quite, worked (he runs to the end like a lead sled dog trying to get a sled out of crusted ice!), but we keep trying. :D


Frankly, I just ignore what might be on the faces of other adults. I might miss some nice looks, but I miss any nasty looks, too. :p

[Malcon10t]

I was born in 1969, and my brother in '72, and my mom used harnesses on us when we were toddlers. They aren't anything new, not at all. :D

I was born in in 59 and my brothers in 61 and 64. We have pics of them in harnesses.

[LUV_U_MICKEY]

My son is almost six and I still have a wrist to wrist harness. He has adhd and odd and I wouldn't dream of going to a theme park without it. Most days he is happy to walk beside me and hold hands but there are a few when all he wants to do is run and run and run. Usually the days he gets red or orange food dye. These are the days we use the harness. He can stay a bit ahead likes he wants to but I still know where he is. I am hoping we don't need it at DL since I will be the one getting all the food he eats and know not to give him stuff he can't have.

BTW Walmart now has those cute animal back pack style if anyone in Cnada is looking. I seen the yesterday in the baby section.

[dsnyredhead]

It's been a few months since we've tried the harness. When we did try we used both the harness and the wristband type. DS threw himself on the ground and screamed. I don't know how he would react now that he is three. Unfortunately, he's also gotten against his stroller at times and has a tendency to take off. Nowadays, we hold his hand (or at least try to) and just keep up with him.

[yohomama212]

You guys are going to love seeing me this summer! I won't be hard to find! DS on the harness, DD pinned down to the stoller (probably with harness on as well just to be sure), and the new baby in a sling! It's going to be quite the adventure, I'm sure!

Liz :cool: