Bob (aka skidoo) -- April 2002 -- Walt Disney World (PR)

April 22-29, 2002

Characters

Me (40 years) (Lover of extreme thrill rides currently "blessed" with three family members who consider the carousel a thrill ride.)
Wife, who I will call "Wife #1" (mostly to keep her on her toes). (36 years or, as I tell her, "Technically, you're in your 37th year.")
Son, who I will call "Son" (for obvious reasons)(6 1/2. Generally a "dream child." Polite, well mannered, lots of fun.)
Daughter, who I will call "Princess" after her love of the Disney Princesses (4 3/4. A master manipulator and doer of evil deeds in those places where there is no way to punish her.)


Background. This was our second trip to WDW, the last being in early December of 2000. We entered that trip blind ("What's priority seating?) and without plans. Enjoyed the trip, but realized that a successful Disney trip with young kids requires extensive planning. We encountered no crowds on our last trip. Nada. Bupkis.

Planned versus actual. In preparing this trip report, I'll start each day with what the actual plan was for the day and then describe what actually happened, why we changed the plan and whether it worked.

Days 0 (Pre-trip) and Day 1

At the time we booked the airplane, it was still just a few months after 9/11. We looked extensively into the Autotrain and were about to book it when, for some unexplained reason, I simply booked airplane tickets instead. It was literally a coin toss after weighing the pros and cons. As you all are aware, the train derailed a couple of days before our scheduled departure. No matter how good a planner someone is, fate can always intervene.

Prior to setting foot on the airplane, our plan was as follows, we had an early departure out of Dulles Airport (8:00 a.m.), which meant that we had a choice of leaving our home at 5:15 in the morning or going to the airport hotel the night before and taking a courtesy shuttle to the hotel at a slightly more decent hour. For those without young kids, you may not see the conundrum. With Princess, however, waking her before she is ready is a risky proposition. If she has slept enough, its sugar and spice. One minute too early, however, and she's the antichrist. Cute as a button, but the antichrist nonetheless. Again, for background purposes, we are parents that actually care whether their kids are bothering other people and strive to see that it doesn't happen. We opted for the airport hotel as we wanted that extra few minutes of sleep for "Damien" or "Regan" (feel free to pick your own favorite movie antichrist), thought the kids would find staying in a hotel fun, and after taking into account the cost of hiring a car to take us to and from the airport (or, in the alternative, parking fees), there wasn't a huge difference in cost.

Original Plan. The original plan was to arrive at the airport, pick up the rental car (more to follow on rental car later), and go straight to the hotel. Because of the early flight, we expected to be at the hotel by 11:00 at the latest. I assumed that our room would not be available, so we had packed our swimming gear in a carry on so we could splash around until the room was ready. After we checked into our room, we would change, head toward Downtown Disney, have dinner and catch La Nouba.

Actual Events. The original plan basically worked. In fact, things turned out better than expected. Princess awoke mainly as sugar and spice with only the slightest hint of the antichrist. So the hotel call seemed to be correct. The plane was on time, we walked to the Emerald Isle and picked out our rental car. The selection was rather limited and we wound up with a full size Buick in a color that only a rental car company would buy. You know the color, it's the one that blends in like camouflage in any parking lot so that your car if impossible to find if there are only two cars in the lot at the time.

The Resort we selected was the Polynesian and we were staying in the Hawaii building. This is the same place we stayed two years ago. For people with young kids, it's perfect. We had requested a room preference of first floor with a room number higher than 1505 or, as a second choice, the third floor any room. The reason for our request was to have a porch on the first floor, but be far enough away from the entrance and elevator (which is located at 1501, to cut down on the hall noise. Our second request was so that if we couldn't get a first floor room, we could still have a balcony to watch the electric water pageant/fireworks. We realized that the third floor was smoking optional, and we can't stand the smell of smoke, but the last time we were on the third floor, we noticed no smoke smell at all. So, we were willing to try again.

We arrived at the Polynesian at 10:45 and, to our surprise, the room was ready. We were given Room 3511. The room had no trace of smoke smell. The hallways, however, had quite a smoke odor. Since we spent minimal time in the hallways, we didn't care. But, for those of you that would be bothered, be forewarned. The hallway looked like London at times with the smoke floating around. The view from 3511 was perfect, with the slight problem that a palm tree obscured some of the electric water pageant. All things considered, however, it was perfect. Also to our surprise, the Hawaii building was completely full. We didn't expect that during the so-called "low season," but it never caused any problems for us.

We unpacked, went to the pool, rented water mice, showered and headed to Downtown Disney. The pool was a huge hit. Son, not being the thrill seeker type, wouldn't go down the slide on the first day. The slide is fully enclosed and you have to take a leap of faith to enter since you can't tell what happens between the time you enter and the time you exit. I tried it and found it to be great. (For those of you who want to maximize speed, cross your legs and put all your weight on your heels and your shoulder blades.) The Water Mice were also a huge hit. A great first day activity as you get tantalizingly close to the Magic Kingdom and have fun jumping over the wake left by the bigger boats.

Running a bit late, we ran back to the hotel, showered and were off to Downtown Disney. We arrived at 4:45 and quickly went to House of Blues so we could finish eating before La Nouba at 6:00. I had the crawfish and shrimp etoufee, Wife #1 had penne pasta, and Princess and Son had Chicken Strips for the first of forty-seven times on the trip. (I couldn't get Chicken Run out of my mind the whole week). The penne pasta was excellent. The etoufee was very good, not great. (The roux was a little runny. Nothing worse than runny roux.) The cornbread was amazing.

La Nouba was admittedly a risk. Son had loved the Cirque shows he saw on TV, Princess had tolerated them. Princess and Son had been up since the wee early hours and were now tired after swimming in the hot sun. Nonetheless, we took the chance that they would make it until 7:30 (when La Nouba ends) before they would give out, either in the form of sleep or tantrums. All in all, La Nouba was a success. Son loved it start to finish. His mouth dropping open in amazement at all the appropriate spots, as he pointed and grabbed us to make sure we were seeing what he saw. Princess lasted until 7:00. At 7:00, she wanted a drink so she and Wife #1 went to get one. When they got back, Princess had to go to the bathroom. Any observant parent would realize that this is Princess' way of telling you that the antichrist will appear in 180 seconds. Not wishing to disturb those around me should the antichrist make an appearance, I simply took her out of the theater, to the bathroom, and we waited outside until the show let out. For Wife #1 and me, we thought La Nouba was very good. Basically, Cirque "kiddified" their typical show so that kids of all ages could enjoy the performance. The music was a little less mysterious than their other shows, there was less focus on symbolism, and the events seemed to be geared more toward a younger audience than the typical Cirque show (for example, the bike). This is not to say its less of a show, it's just different than their others (and I would argue appropriately so).

After La Nouba, we raced home to catch the electric water pageant and fireworks over the Magic Kingdom from our balcony. This was important because Disney had only scheduled fireworks for three of the days we were there and we had scheduling conflicts on the other nights. After the fireworks, we hit the bed hard. (Sorry).

Day 2

Original Plan: CRT Breakfast at 8:30. MK all day. No dinner plans as we wanted to play it by ear.

Actual Events: What better way to start a WDW trip, especially when you have a 4 3/4 year old girl who's into the Princesses, than Breakfast at CRT (with reservations obtained the old fashioned way)? At least, that was the theory. In retrospect, it was slightly flawed. Princess (ours, not theirs) was awakened at 7:15 a.m. to leave adequate time to dress, wake up, get to the monorail and make it to the Breakfast. On a normal day, this would have been possible. However, just the day before, Princess had been awakened at 6:00 a.m., spent the morning traveling, swam in the hot sun, went to La Nouba and didn't get to sleep until around 10:00 p.m. She was not only out of her normal schedule (repeat the parent's mantra here: "The Schedule is sacred. Don't disturb the Schedule. The Schedule must be obeyed."), but she was now a couple hours short of a full sleep. And so, at 7:15, Princess awakened, sat up, and spun her head around 360 degrees saying something about "You're mother's down here with us, Father!" in a deep voice. At this point, CRT looked like it was destined to be one of those wonderful parent moments where you do something special for your child, something that you think she will love more than anything else she has ever loved, only to be faced with the proposition that you may not get out of this alive.

So, we dragged the Antichrist to the Magic Kingdom, who chose to protest this morning's events with stern looks, rather than expletives, and arrived at the gate about 8:00 a.m.. We waited in line for a couple of minutes and then proceeded to CRT. Even though our reservation was for 8:30, we were seated at 8:15. At this point, Princess had not spoken a single word since the "mother" comment above. She had apparently decided that she was not going to eat as well. Once again, Princess had figured something out way before me and Wife #1. When at WDW, it is virtually impossible to punish a child. I mean, what are you going to do? We don't beat our kids. You can't realistically threaten to take her back to the room for the entire day because that only hurts yourself. Here you are paying hundreds of dollars a day to sit in the hotel room with your kid? I don't think so. You can threaten to take away things when the you get back home, but that rarely works as kids at 4 years old don't care about future punishments. (I thought about making her watch a Pia Zadora film, but I didn't know where to find one in WDW.) So, we sat in silence and waited for the Princesses (theirs, not ours).

Lo and behold. As if pixie dust (or holy water) fell from the rafters, the sight of the first Princess exorcised the demons and the Antichrist left the Building. Sugar and Spice had now returned. Now, thoughts on CRT. The food was pretty good to very good. The pace, however, was very hectic. With me on the video cam, Wife #1 on the camera, and the kids trying to keep up with their autograph books, the Princesses seemed to be popping up from nowhere just as you loaded up your mouth and leaving quickly. It was all you could do to find time to eat. [Incidentally, odd coincidence at CRT. While we were eating Breakfast, we found out that the families at the three tables around us, all had the last name of "Howie." What are the odds?! (grin).] Finally, for all you Dads going to CRT in the near future and for those who have recently been, I have one word for you -- Jasmine. (nuff said). The Breakfast ended without incident, our sugar and spice had been returned to us and we set foot out into the MK for the first time this trip.

My first impression was that the park was more crowded than I thought it would be for this time of year. Crowds, of course, are relative. There could be fewer people there than normal, but if its more people than you personally expected, it's crowded. Nonetheless, even with wall to wall people walking about, we never had to wait more than 10-15 minutes for a ride by using Fastpass and careful (and timely) selection of non-Fastpass attractions.

As it was all week, the weather was kind of hot this day. About 85 degrees, sunny and a bit humid. We also made our first mistake with Fastpass. I knew full well that you could only have one fast pass at any particular time. Around noon, we passed Peter Pan's ride which showed about a 60 minute wait for the standby line and Fastpass return time around 2:30. Ignorantly, I took the Fastpass option thinking that it would save me from having to come back later to pick up Fastpass tickets. As we went through the park looking for what to do before our Fastpass time, I noticed that the Fastpass return times at other attractions that we wanted to ride were only 45 minutes (or so) from their active time, not two hours like Peter Pan. So, by taking the Peter Pan Fastpass, we had precluded ourselves from being able to get on several other rides using Fastpass in between noon and our 2:30 date with Peter and Tink. In the future, I never took a Fastpass from a ride with a long return time until I got a sense of what the other Fastpass return times were on other rides.

The day being kind of hot, and with the kids lacking in sleep, we all lost our energy around 4:30 and headed back to the Polynesian. We took a dip in the pool to cool off and Son tried to the volcano slide for the first time. And the second time. Third time, etc. We couldn't get him off it. Princess was still a "no go" on the slide, but loved the pool and had a great time. We never really had dinner that night as none of us were that hungry. We simply wandered into the Concierge lounge and snacked a bit on the heavy hors d'oevres. Then back to the room. Lights out.

Polynesian Interlude: Some thoughts on the Polynesian. To us, this is the perfect resort for people with kids. First, proximity to the MK is key. Second, it's by far the most kid friendly resort. Both the staff and the vacationers at the Polynesian just seem to be happier and more friendly their counterparts at the Grand Floridian. Granted the people are better looking at the GF, but they also tend to have this scowl they wear about. Don't misunderstand me, the GF is a beautiful hotel and, if we were sans kids, I'd stay there in a heartbeat. But, for families having fun with kids, I'd say it's the Polynesian hands down. There is only one draw back to the Polynesian. For those of you who have stayed there, you know it all too well. The toilets. The toilets are loud. No, I mean loud!. We're talking AC/DC (or Spinal Tap "We've got eleven") loud. For those of you who have not had the pleasure, let me set the scene. It's three a.m. You are sleeping deeply with dreams of [insert favorite fantasy here or, for the CRT dad's, simply insert the word "Jasmine"]. As you float peacefully in this state of bliss, eyes closed, completely given unto your fantasy, the space shuttle takes off three inches from your left ear. That's the scene when someone uses your bathroom in the middle of the night. In fact, it's ironic that when someone finishes relieving themselves in the middle of the night, the flush scares the P#$@ out of the other people in the room. Kind of a group bathroom moment.

Pet Peeve of the Day: My Pet Peeve of the day is people with no sense of traffic flow. These are the people who while walking down the middle of a path in WDW (or on any busy sidewalk), stop in the middle of walkway for no apparent reason and without any idea that there are hundreds of people moving in close proximity to them. These are the same people who stop at the top of escalators. God forbid they engage a brain cell and say, "Hmm, I want to stop and think about something, I better start moving over to the side to stop and think about it so I don't cause a traffic nightmare." It's really that simple. The other similar peeve is when groups of five or more people feel the need to walk side by side, and slowly, not realizing that hey are blocking long lines of other people, in either direction, who would like to get by.

Summing up, in retrospect, and in light of the early flight the day before, I would let the kids sleep in the first morning of WDW, rather than try and get up early to do something. Once they get into a sleep deficit situation, it's difficult to correct.

Day 3

Original Plan. Our original plan was to wake up (which is generally a good way to start a day) and go to AK for the entire day. At the end of the day, we would go to the Animal Kingdom Lodge, change in the health club (thanks to a recommendation from a RADP denizen) and have dinner at Jiko. We chose Jiko over Boma because my kids (the "Chicken Strip Twins") were probably going to have Chicken Strips at either place so, we went where Wife #1 and I thought that we would enjoy the most.

Actual Events. After a long and tiring day in the heat the day before, we decided to let the kids sleep in and go to Blizzard Beach instead of AK. BB would entail less walking, the water would be there to cool off, the kids would be able to erase part of their sleep deficit because of the later opening hour for BB and BB closed early enough that we would still have time to get back to the hotel, shower and head to Jiko.

Blizzard Beach turned out to be both our kids' favorite day for the whole trip. First, the extra sleep helped as both kids woke up in extra good spirits. We hopped into our Boring Buick and headed off to BB. The park was pretty crowded despite the fact that there were only 16 cars in the parking lot. Must have been a big bus day from somewhere. We went through the opening gate, lubed up with sun block and staked our claim in Tyke's Peak.

[Intermission. Disclosure time. I am a balding male. Despite the fact that when I look in the mirror every morning I still see Chewbacca staring back at me, people I trust tell me that the parking lots on the top of my forehead are getting rather large and the back of my head is beginning to look like a yamaka (sic) made out of skin. It's gotten to the point where female friends freely volunteer the faux compliment that balding males are really attractive. I mean, where does this backhanded compliment come from anyway? Do I run around telling women that their sagging breasts are awe inspiring? I don't think so. In any event, the point of all this is that to me there is nothing more humiliating than having to put sun block on partially haired head. First, you feel like the world is staring at you like you were doing an unnatural act in public. Second, the greasiness of the sun block makes your remaining hairs (both of them) have that slicked back look as if you were trying to dress like a fifty-year old Danny Zuko from Grease. Not an image I care to portray. So, anyway, D.A. and all, I head into the water park.]

You may recall from the intro that I am the only thrill seeker in the family. So, immediately upon entry, I was granted a kitchen pass for a quick trip to Summit Plummet. I thought SP was amazing. About a 15 minute wait at the top of the slide, but a wonderful view of the surrounding areas. I entered the slide, dutifully crossed my legs, arched my back so as to obtain maximum speed and lurched forward to begin the plunge. I giggled, hooped and hollered the whole way down like a 12 year old kid (a twelve year old kid with a three-haired D.A. that is). It was amazing. No wedgie at the end of the ride which I had kind of expected based on other peoples' accounts of the ride. (To be honest, I was kind of disappointed in the lack of a wedgie as at my age, anything like that's a thrill.) Despite a strong desire to do it again, I dutifully scurried back over to Tike's Peak, turned in my kitchen pass and immediately told Wife #1 how wonderful she was for letting me have the opportunity. (One of the ironic things about being married is that my wife knows full-well that I'm just saying she's wonderful so I can get another kitchen pass sometime. Nonetheless, if I don't compliment her vigorously for my brief freedom, the next kitchen pass I receive will be about the same time that Arafat and Sharon kiss each other on the lips.)

After my SP experience, we all went up to Teamboat Springs, where both kids grinned like they had never grinned before as they went down the slide. It was one of those Disney moments where you see the extreme joy on your kids' faces and realize that all the money your spending (even the tips for the housekeepers) is worth it. From there, we did Runoff Rapids, Toboggan Racers and anything else with a height requirement of under 44 inches. We left the Park about 4:30 to make it back to the Polynesian.

By Dinnertime, Princess gave out. Because she was legitimately tired, and rather than take her to a restaurant to which she really didn't want to go, we scored a couple of spaces in the Neverland Club for the kids. Not only would the kids be happy, but also this would give Wife #1 and me an extra night to ourselves allowing us to enjoy our trip even more. We considered it a win-win situation.

Thoughts on Neverland Club. Tremendous. Great staff, great facilities. The kids truly didn't want to leave when we got back. Computer gamers, video games, large screen TV, craft supplies, and food all with a Peter Pan theme.

Thoughts on Jiko. Overall, Jiko was a great experience, although I did find it a little disconcerting eating beef next store to a Park where wild animals were the attraction. We started the meal with the smoked bacon and onion flatbread, a recommendation from our waiter, that was excellent. We then had a South African Merlot that was pricey, but wonderful. Unfortunately, the name escapes me. In a rare moment, Wife #1 and I both ordered the same entrée. Typically, we always get different entrees so that we may share. We both ordered the oak-grilled beef tenderloin, with mac and cheese and red wine reduction. While the beef was overcooked, we had asked for medium rare and it arrived medium well, it was still so tender and tasty that we didn't mind. When the waiter walked by, he noticed that it was cooked more than we had asked, but we assured him that it was still delicious and was fine. Trust me, if it hadn't been good, we would have sent it back in a heartbeat. The wine reduction had a wonderful flavor and the mac and cheese was a terrific complement. Wife #1 had dessert, but I can't remember what it was (Sorry, I'm a guy). As I recall, she thought it was good, not great. So I wouldn't recommend ordering it whatever it was. While Jiko was only half full, Boma was busting at the seams.

Overall impression of the AKL, nice, but I have no interest in staying there. Too isolated and the amount of time I would spend looking out on the savanna couldn't compensate for the lack of convenience.

Pet Peeve of the Day. The dress and manners of diners. Okay, I know this is a resort town and casual dress is the call. However, I would have thought that for one of the nicer restaurants, people would have left their t-shirts home. Next to us was a family wearing jean shorts and hooded sweatshirts. Would khakis and a golf shirt have been too much of an effort? Also, the number of diners wearing baseball caps was ridiculous. None of these are issues that keep me awake at night, but it is disappointing that the level of manners and dress has deteriorated to such a state. (Footnote: Ironically, when we ate at Ohana a couple of days later, the customers were very well dressed. It could be that we just hit Jiko on an off night.)

P.S., Incidentally, if anyone has any personal questions, feel free to e-mail me at the above address.

Finally, tip of the day. Wear pool shoes at Blizzard Beach. I knew I should have from other people's reports, but I thought I'd be fine. I got nasty little sores on each of my little toes that turned into huge blisters the next day after walking around all day. The rest of the week, I walked around like Gabby Hayes, wearing a girdle with jock itch.

Day 4

Original Plan. This day was to be our day off from Parks. You know, the day of rest. I had originally scheduled the day off this early in our trip because of the two successive days of getting up early. As noted above, if I had to plan the trip over again, I would have let the kids sleep in on Day One and move the day off until later in the vacation.

The original plan for our day off was Character Breakfast at 1900 Park Fare, followed by the kids taking the Pirate Cruise. After that, a little pool, a little putt-putt at Fantasia Gardens. That evening, the kids were going back to the Neverland Club, and Wife #1 and I were going to the Chef's Table at Victoria & Albert's.

Actual Event. The day went off as planned. A decent bedtime for the kids the night before and both were up and eager at the start of the day. The breakfast went very well with the food being quite good (for buffet food) and the character interactions were great. After the Breakfast, we walked around the Grand Floridian a bit and then headed over to the pier for the Pirate Cruise. Son was eager to go but, at the last moment as we approached the dock, Princess looked up and said, "I don't want to go on the Pirate Cruise." Suddenly, we were at DEFCON 2.

We tried to reason with her. "You'll have fun" "There will be hidden treasure" blah, blah, blah. It was at this point that Princess again amazed us with her evil planning skills. Princess carefully looked around at her fellow pirates and noticed that they all had life jackets on. From this, she concluded that if she didn't put here life jacket on, she couldn't go on the Pirate Cruise. Having determined her own course, she boldly pronounced that she was not going to wear a life jacket because they all hurt her. It was at this point, that I sent Wife #1 away. Princess gets away with more with Wife #1 than she does with me and I didn't want to give Princess the option of playing to both parents' frailties. So Wife #1 went off to sit on a bench just down the dock, and I was left with the Princess.

As I sat on Princess trying to get the life jacket on for the thirteenth time, I swear the freckles on her nose began to form "666." I had never noticed this before but, then again, I don't recall sitting on her before either. Perhaps it was just the angle. Realizing the futility of my actions, I got up, walked over to Wife #1 and said, "You know? Let's just forget it. We'll take her back to the room and make her sit in time out until our Pirate Son returns from sea."

There was an awkward moment of silence at first. Then, without warning, Wife #1 sat up, spun her head 360 degrees and said "Your Mother's down here with us Father" in a deep low voice. She then said, "She's going!" Stunned, and perhaps a little more aware of from where Princess may have developed her Antichrist tendencies, I watched Wife #1 head from the bench to the area where Princess now sat. Suddenly, we were at DEFCON 4.

To be honest, at this point, I didn't know who to place my bet on. All I knew was that everyone should be in for a real treat. An E-ticket attraction, no doubt. Like all over-hyped prizefights, however, this one was over before it started. By the time Wife #1 had arrived at the Ninth Gate, a wonderful cast member had come out, greeted Princess and whisked her away on her Pirate Adventure. [Of course the whole trip was delayed when one parent arrived at the pier at 10:10 (for a 10:00 departure) and held up the entire boat of kids while her precious little son was registered, changed clothes, found a life jacket, etc. Basically, this uncaring person delayed the kids while they sat on the boat another ten minutes. I was surprised that when the boat came back, the other pirates hadn't distracted the Cast Members and thrown Tardy, Jr. over the side of the boat. In fact, I'm a little disappointed that Princess didn't plan it and have Son carry it out. I'll have to work with them this summer.]

Now that the kids were off at sea, Wife #1 (who is also known as "She who Must Be Obeyed" (for our British friends)) and I set off on our own odyssey -- a drink, the alcoholic kind. Even though it was ten o'clock in the morning here, it was approaching happy hour in Germany, so it seemed like the thing to do. We began by going to the GF pool bar. No go. Not open. No problem, we thought, we'd just hop the monorail to the Contemporary. Surely one of the bars there would be open. Wrong. By now, it was approaching 11:00 a.m. Surely the Polynesian Pool bar would be open by now. So, we catch the Monorail to the Polynesian. Nope. It doesn't open until noon. At this point, you have to realize that we are not alcoholics, we are parents on a mission. Out of luck, and almost out of time, we almost resorted to going to the Sundries shop in the Polynesian and buying our own alcohol for a drink, but we were looking for those fruity tropical kind of drinks. The kind those paper umbrellas usually come in. Disheartened, but with a healthier liver, we went back to GF to pick up our buccaneers. (As if the Lord was paying us back for something earlier, we passed the now open GF pool bar on the way to get the kids. If we had just stayed...).

The boat arrived back and all the kids got out two at a time in a disembarking process that took about 12 minutes. The verdict? Both kids thought it was fun, but not on their to do list the next time. This kind of surprised me as Son is really into pirates but, for some unknown reason, he wasn't enthralled. I know this is counter to a lot of the trip reports of others whose kids had taken the pirate cruise but, from our kids' standpoint, I'd say it was, at best, two thumbs sideways.

After our pirates had returned, we grabbed a quick bite at Captain Cooks in the Polynesian and headed out in our Boring Buick to Fantasia Gardens for a round of putt-putt. This was a lot of fun. The course was well landscaped, the holes were put together with great thought and the holes were a wonderful blend of being just difficult enough for the adults, but not too difficult for the kids. The course is way overpriced, but it was a fun afternoon. I think the total cost, with the Disney Club discount was $32 for the four of us.

After putt-putt, back to the pool for some splashing about. Son began his slide marathon, Princess got a hair wrap and splashed about in the pool and I finally got the drink I was looking for that morning. A rum runner. A wonderful concoction of many different rums, liquors and fruit juice for about the same price as the pre-made pina coladas. Do yourself a favor and get a rum runner at the Polynesian Pool. In fact, do yourself a better favor and get two.

The pool being over, and my vision slowly returning after the rum runner (okay, rum runnerS), we headed back to get ready for our night out. The kids went skipping away to the Neverland Club and left us with a basic "don't rush back to get us" look. We put our dressy clothes on and headed to the Chef's Table. For the few uninitiateds that may be left, the Chef's Table is a small room at the back of the kitchen in Victoria & Albert's. It's not romantic in the same way that the main restaurant is (soft lighting, rich fabric, flowers), but its still romantic in that its your own exclusive mini dining room and the Chef and his staff treat you as if you're their only customer. The Chef came out, we had a toast with champagne, and he asked for our preferences/allergies, if any. Basically, the only food Wife #1 and I are not fond of is fish. We eat all meats and shellfish, but nothing caught with a worm. We also opted for the wine pairing, where the sommelier has pre-selected certain wines to go with each course of your meal.

The meal began with a small appetizer of shrimp in a lime butter sauce. It was light and elegant. We then moved to spiced boar with jicama, hearts of palm and mango vinaigrette. The next course was elk tenderloin with celery root and artichokes. Both of these were wonderfully light tasting meats, perfectly prepared and matched with their complements. In the next course, I was served a duck consommé and she was served a sweet potato-hazelnut cream soup. To me, consommé is consommé even if it is very good, so I wasn't too impressed. The sweet potato hazelnut cream, however, was smooth and delicious. Our next course was diver harvested cape cod scallop "pot au feu." We actually saw them open the scallops attesting to their freshness. Wonderful, melt in your mouth scallops. A trio of sorbet was followed by the main course, where each of received one serving of jamison farm lamb with goat cheese gnocchi and warm heirloom tomatoes and one serving of grilled prime angus filet over onion and potato puree in a cabernet reduction. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful both of these entrees were. The cheese serving was simple, passendale and English stilton with burgundy poached pear. Being a huge stilton fan, I quickly swallowed up this course.

Finally, the desserts. The dessert was to die for. Like many guys, I enjoy dessert, but lack the sensual relationship that Wife #1 has with chocolate and other things sweet. However, tonight, I shared in the moment. We were presented with three huge desserts. The first was a chocolate shell filled with a passion fruit mousse. The second was a chocolate hazelnut soufflé with Godiva chocolate sauce. The third was a banana dish, caramelized banana gateau. All were unparalleled. To my Wife #1 and my surprise, the banana gateau was hands down the best.

Now, as to the wines, I consider myself a true wine lover. By that, I mean that I like all wines whether they cost $3 a bottle or $100+ a bottle. The wines that were offered as part of the pairings were not expensive wines. I would guess that most could be had for anywhere from $10-20. Of those, only one was, in my humble opinion, outstanding - a Jekel Chardonnay that was truly creamy with a wonderful bouquet. The other wines were all very good, but I was slightly disappointed that the wines were not more high end given the caliber of the restaurant. Likewise, the service was very good, but not as refined as I would have expected.

Overall, the evening was wonderful and the interaction with the chef and his staff was terrific. The food was perfect and deserving of all the praise it appropriately receives. The wines were good to very good, and the service was very good. If you can save the money for it, it's a strong recommendation.

Day 5

Original Plan. The original plan for this day was to go to MGM with a back up plan to go to Blizzard Beach in the event that this looked like the best weather day for Blizzard Beach. We planned on eating lunch at 50s Prime Time Café, Dinner at Brown Derby and then Fantasmic.

Actual events. I realized this morning that I had been deficient in keeping you all abreast (OOPS, sorry. I have to be careful after that last sagging breast joke.) as to the dates of our trip. My humble apologies. Today, we went to MGM as expected. MGM amazes me. When I think about the park, I have no idea how we could fill out a whole day there. But, when we actually go, we have no trouble finding fun things to do all day all across the vast bosom (OOPS, sorry again) of the park. The day went great. In the morning, we started with Muppets 3d (which was a hoot), went to Star Tours (which was a hoot), and generally puttered about. The afternoon, we went to Indiana Jones (which was a huge hit with Son), did some shopping, went to the bug playground (which was a hoot), took in Ariel's show (which was a hoot), and did assorted other things until it was time to go to dinner. I guess you could say there were hooters all over the place. (OOPS (and apologies, but you had to have known that one was coming).)

Lunch was at 50s Prime Time Café. Our food here was excellent. Wife #1 had the fried chicken and I had the Pot Roast. Both were wonderful. The milkshake is a must do although one was sufficient for our entire group. The kids had...... yup, chicken strips.

Dinner was the Brown Derby for our Fantasmic Dinner package. The food at the Brown Derby was terrific. Another bonus was that they served Anchor Steam Beer, which is one of my favorites. Wife #1 and I shared the Cobb salad, then Wife #1 had a ravioli dish and I resorted to the filet mignon. Unlike Jiko, the meat was cooked perfectly. After the main course, I took the Chicken Strip Twins and we went out leaving Wife #1 alone so as to give her a little extra time for herself to have a dessert and be by herself. Kind of a tit for tat for the kitchen pass I got in Blizzard Beach the other day. (For the truly observant, you may have noticed an "oops" in the previous sentence. I assure you it was unintentional. I would never write something that vulgar.) Also, our waitress, Janet, was the best server we had in our entire stay at WDW. She was wonderful and we filled out a comment card at the end noting such.

You may have noticed by this time, that there have been no sightings of the Antichrist lately. While this was great for us, it does tend to cut back on the attempted humor in these reports for which I apologize. If it's any consolation to you, Princess did have to go to the bathroom three times during dinner at the Brown Derby. No Antichrist story, but at least you get a Princess and the Pee story. (Groan).

After dinner, we started to creep toward the gate for Fantasmic Dinner Package pass holders. In order to use your Fantasmic Dinner Package ticket, you had to check in at a special gate by 8:00. Why did we do the Fantasmic dinner package? Again, it's a parent thing. Rather than force the kids to sit in an idle amphitheater for an hour and a half at the end of the long day, and risk an appearance of the Antichrist, we would rather sit in a worse viewing section with less wait. Unfortunately, at this point, a huge thunderstorm came in and drenched us. Worse, Fantasmic was cancelled. Technically, it was "cancelled with the possibility of being shown later that evening," but rather than stand in the rain and lightening with the kids, we decided that in all likelihood it would be cancelled, so we left MGM for the Polynesian. This was a big bummer. We only had a few days left and virtually no scheduling ability to fit another Fantasmic night in.

We returned to the Polynesian and everyone but me crashed. I made a trek to the laundry room at the Polynesian as we were running dreadfully low on clean underwear. (For the guys reading this report, this means that only one pair of my underwear passed the smell test). When I got to the laundry room, I was quite surprised at how nice it was. Plenty of machines, a coin changer that took $1s and $5s and a soap dispenser. There was a separate waiting room with sofas, a TV, a phone and a soda machine. For those that are interested, soap's a dollar, the washing machines are $2.00, and the dryers are $2.00 for 35 minutes. The TV viewing was free. (Note to self: Call Eisner and tell him that he forgot to charge for something.). Laundry done, I returned, folded, crashed and looked forward to wearing a pair of freshies in the morning.

Rental Car Interlude: During our first trip to WDW, we had one bad WDW transportation experience. After a long day, we had ended the day with a late dinner at Whispering Canyon. We finished about 9:15 and had to take a bus back to the Polynesian. We asked a cast member who said we had to take a particular bus. We got on the bus only to find out too late that we were headed toward the Polynesian but instead a direct route, which we could have had on another bus, the cast member had put us on a bus that stopped at every campsite in Fort Wilderness. The trip was looooong! Further, even on our "good" bus experiences we had 15-20 minute waits for just about any bus we took. In Disney, time is money. With the rental car, we had no down time.

Our theory in renting a car this time was that the extra cost of renting a car would more than compensate for the lost time waiting for buses. After our trip, I will rent a car every time. First, the cost was probably about double what we would have had to pay if we had hired tiffany to take us to and from the airport and tipped the driver each way. Our total car cost (including all the hidden fees and mystical charges that tend to appear) was $220. I'm sure better deals existed out there but, unfortunately, at the time I booked, none were to be found. Add to this $6 a day valet fee and tips and we probably wound up spending $290 for the car. We used Emerald Isle service to avoid any potential lines at the airport. The convenience and time saving of having our own car was huge. A simple call to the valet and the car was waiting for us by the time we got to the front entrance. No waiting time. This meant we never lost those precious 15-20 minutes on either end of a journey. We were able to go putt-putting and do other quick short trips at a moment's notice because we knew we wouldn't have any down time. Parking at the parks (which is free for resort guests) was a breeze and the trams were always running if you even needed to use them.

Oh, well. Ta-tas for now. (oops).

Day 6

Original Plan. Blizzard Beach. Dinner at California Grill. The theory was that of all the parks on a Saturday, Blizzard Beach would likely be the least crowded.

Actual Events. Since we already went to Blizzard Beach, we went to AK today. We also made one other change to our itinerary. We decided that we had to try for Fantasmic once again. So, we cancelled our reservations at the California Grill for tonight, scored a priority seating at Ohana for tonight (thanks, Ms. Concierge for that one), and cancelled our original Ohana reservation for the following night giving us one last chance to see Fantasmic.

Now, for background purposes, we were not that impressed with the AK on our last trip. The kids didn't have a whole lot to do and it seemed like it took us six hours to have two hours worth of fun. Granted it's beautiful and well-themed, but we've got two kids to entertain. Nonetheless, with the kids being older, we decided to try it again.

The Animal Kingdom was hot and crowded. People everywhere. Fastpass saved you from long lines on most attractions, but the over all impression was that this was going to be a tough day due to the heat and number of people. Also, during the safari, I saw a wild boar that was staring at me like I ate his mother at Victoria & Albert's the other night. He just kept following me with his eyes as we traveled by. Also, I swear I saw a small sign behind the boar that was a picture of Chef Scott Hunnel's face with a red circle around him and a red line going through it. I can' be sure though.

Kali River Rapids was great fun, although I did lose my hat on the ride. Oh, Lovely. Guess who had to stop now and lube his golden dome again after this ride?!

As was the case the last time, the kids simply weren't into this park. We all had an okay time but, in retrospect, we should have just gone somewhere else for the day. Left AK around 2:30 and went back to the Polynesian pool for some swimming.

As noted above, Ohana was originally going to be the last night of our trip, but we were able to move the Ohana reservations up a day early and make PS reservations for Fantasmic dinner package at Hollywood and Vine for Day 7 giving us one more chance to see Fantasmic. The food was very good at Ohana, although the waitress rushed us a bit. When she came around to see if we wanted seconds, she seemed quite bothered when we asked for more steak. You see, it seems the steak wasn't ready at that time and our asking for it was delaying her from clearing the table. She wasn't rude, but certainly didn't give that warm fuzzy Disney charm with which others brimmed. I laughed when I read someone else's trip report here on RADP that was posted a few days ago and they had a similar experience with a waitress at Ohana. I don't have our waitress' name, but she was rather tall, slender, long dirty blond/brunette hair and had eyes like that recently orphaned boar over in the Animal Kingdom when we asked for more steak. The kids' games were a lot of fun and overall, we loved the restaurant. Given that all of the food was rather sweet, once a trip is plenty for this restaurant, but I would make sure to hit it that one time.

As I noted in a previous trip report entry, the customers were dressed very appropriately here and everyone seemed to be enjoying him or herself. Loved the cocktails here, too. They were pretty, potent and plentiful. After Ohana, it was snacks in the concierge lounge and then off to bed.

Days 7 and 8 (April 28 and 29).

Original Plan. Our original plan was to spend the day at MK and then have dinner at Ohana.

Actual Events. We awoke ready for our last day and headed into MK. The crowds were by far the biggest we had encountered to date but, again, Fastpass, kept the lines short for us. We hit the attractions we missed on Day 2, and re-hit a few of our favorites. On this day, we did our biggest thrill ride to date -- Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Now, for most you, you will not agree that BTMR is a thrill ride. In fact, to be honest, to me it's no more exciting than a bowl full of lukewarm mayonnaise. But to Wife #1, Son and Princess, this is the equivalent of bungee jumping naked off the top of Mt. Everest into an Amway convention. You see, nobody other than me in my family appreciates the feel of large drops through the air. Wife #1 and me almost divorced one time when I took her over a speed bump. As I had ridden Big Thunder Mountain Railroad before, I assured everyone in my family that there were no drops in Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Nonetheless, as we started up the first hill on the chain, I did admit to my wife that it had been almost 20 years since I had ridden the ride and I was three sheets to the wind at the time I rode it. So, my comment that there were no drops in the ride really should be caveated with the phrase "to the best of my knowledge." It was at this point that I felt a telekinetic kick in my groin. Doubled over, I continued up the chain. Fortuna smiled upon me however and my memory proved correct. The ride was loved by Son and appreciated by Wife #1. Princess didn't dislike the ride, but she had apparently taken a hard one to the chest around one of the turns and couldn't believe that the ride had the audacity to strike her thusly.

Around noon, we ate lunch at Tony's, which I thought was wonderful. The dipping sauce that they have for the bread is truly amazing and worth a trip there all by itself. The waitress told us that the recipe for the dipping sauce was at the front desk of the restaurant, but we forgot to pick one up on the way out. And, are you ready for this???? The Chicken Strip Twins, after 12 consecutive lunches and dinners of fried chicken strips, had pasta with butter and cheese. Ta-Dah!! (A collective roar of approval is heard from the crowd.) Wife #1 and I are so proud! Who knows? Maybe they won't have to join Chicken Strips Anonymous (with their twelve strip program) when we get home.

After Tony's, we caught the last 80 percent or so of Cinderella's Magical Surprise (or something to that effect). A surprisingly good little show at the base of Cinderella's castle. After the show, some (if not all) of the characters move to appointed spots for character greetings. However, since the show is pretty popular, it's a zoo and you probably only have time to get one of the character's autographs without wasting most of your afternoon. Perhaps the earlier or later shows are less crowded.

At this point, and with time running on us, I felt the desire to see Jasmine one more time before our departure. I assume its obvious, but my asking Wife #1 if we could find Jasmine one more time would roughly be the equivalent of any husband telling his wife that what she's wearing makes her look a bit "hippy." So, I did what any good father in a capitalist society would do. I slipped Son a $5 bill if he would ask Wife #1 if we could try and find Jasmine one more time for a picture. Son, being the kind, good hearted one of all four of us, immediately turned to Wife #1 and said, "Mom? Can we try and find Jasmine one more time?" Unfortunately, before Wife #1 could answer, Son turned back to me and asked, "How was that?" It was at that point, that I noticed the freckles on Wife #1's nose had formed a "666" pattern. [I knew I should have asked Princess, the diabolical one, instead of Son but she would have charged me $10].

At 2:50, we decided we wanted to catch the parade but had no idea where to go. We saw a line of people in wheelchairs with about eight feet of empty space beside them. We went over and asked if we could stand behind them and, if no one else with special needs showed up, let our kids sit in this section. The Cast Member said that exactly how they work this section. So, at 3:03 when the parade was in site and no one else had shown up, all the kids were allowed to get a last minute front row seat for the parade. Personally, I found the parade to be a pretty weak effort. In fact, Son and Princess had the same reaction. To quote my Son, "It was more like 100 years of boredom." I don't know what I was expecting, but it just didn't thrill me. On a scale of ten, I'd rate it a 5.

Oh, I almost forgot! I actually did see someone breast feeding in the MK today!!! (o)(o) Honest! She was being very discreet, off to the side with a light blanket over the child. I mean I had to stand on a chair and really lean over to get a really good.....uh, on second thought, never mind. We also saw a women that had to be 8 months pregnant who was wearing short spandex shorts (whose waistline started well below her now-lower-than-normal belly button) and a halter top. My kids are still having nightmares. She was the talk of the park as I heard numerous people mentioning sightings. At the time of the sighting, we were standing in line at Pirates of the Caribbean in front of two twenty-something women from Australia to whom we had not yet spoken. I could tell they were Australian by the accent. The two Aussies made some comment about the "hot-panted" pregnant women and, as a joke, I leaned over and said "She's probably Australian." They stared at me for a brief second not knowing what to do, until I blinked indicating that it was a joke. Aussie's have great senses of humor so I figured I was safe. What I wasn't prepared for, however, was the elbow in the kidney from Wife #1 who didn't know I was joking and had also figured out that the two young ladies were Australian. It was one of those loving pokes where your spouse tries to hit you soft enough so that no one else notices the punch, but hard enough so it shuts you up on the spot. This time, however, I think she erred a bit too much on the "hard enough so it shuts you up on the spot" side but, no worries. The doctor says dialysis really isn't that bad.

After the parade, we were a little Disneyed out and went back to the Polynesian to set our course for the evening. We were all a little tired so we were faced with a choice. Stick around the Polynesian doing Polynesian things for the rest of the day and blow off Fantasmic, or go to Fantasmic and then perhaps a late night dip in the pool. We went to concierge for advice who said without hesitation, "You have to do Fantasmic!" So we did the Fantasmic dinner package at Hollywood and Vine. Food was fine, not outstanding. But, for the price, it was the appropriate quality and I'd recommend the restaurant. If you want great food and don't care about the price, Brown Derby hands down.

We finished Dinner at 7:00. So, what to do? For the dinner package, you had to check in at the gate before 8:00. With only an hour to kill, we really didn't have enough time to go do a ride/show. So, we decided to go into the Fantasmic theater and compare the seats we could get by going there now, as opposed to going to the reserved section an hour later. To those persons who are not parents of 4-6 year olds, this may seem like an easy question. However, for those with kids, it's a brainteaser. Kids are like a time bomb. Even if they're the best kids in the world, they have a breaking point. You never know when they will hit it. So, the risk in going to the theater now is that by having them sit in a theater for over an hour with no entertainment, you risk missing the show. (That conscientious parent thing again). We took our chances, went to the theater at 7:10 and were able to get seats in the Pocahontas section, which looked to be a significant improvement over the reserved section. So, with one hour and 20 minutes until show time, the time bomb began ticking. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

The kids were amazing. Not a gripe out of them for the whole hour plus and they loved the show. We were all spellbound for the entire show and when Mickey took back control of his dream, it just sent tingles up our spines. (Again, for the benefit of the non-parent, even when your kids behave well, you're still a wreck. For while to the outside world your kids were perfect, you knew you were holding a ticking time bomb. So, while it's great the bomb never went off, it's still stressful to hold one for the duration, even if the ultimate result is no explosion. now are you beginning to understand why parents always look exhausted?)

After Fantasmic, we went back to the pool for one final dip before hitting the sack and returning home the next morning.

Pet Peeve of the Day? An eight year old with pacifier at Fantasmic. Basically, at this point in her life, the poor child's top teeth were sticking out parallel to the ground.

Day 8

Flight home. Despite the fact that we had felt pretty Disneyed out yesterday afternoon, we were all pretty sad to be leaving. It had been a great vacation with amazing weather, lots of nice people, Jasmine and great food (much better food than I remember from just two years ago). The flight home, with one minor exception, was wonderfully uneventful. The one glitch? While Son and Princess are being dream children, the mother in the row behind Princess let her kid (who was sitting directly behind Princess) play with his tray like it was a bongo drum. As a parent, there is nothing tougher than trying to explain to your child why you're telling them they can't do something while another parent lets their kid run amok. Well, after the third episode of little Desi Arnez, Jr. playing Baba Lu on his tray, I finally leaned over and politely asked the mother if she would do something. She acted as if she had no idea that her son, who was a whopping three inches away from her, was beating on his tray and immediately reached over, smacked Little Ricky across the head, and then she went back to sleep. I sat there with this sorta stunned look on my face and felt guilty. By contrast, Princess spawned a maniacal grin and a look of absolute pleasure over Little Ricky's fate. If you're curious, the parental backhand proved an effective method of behavioral connection. The kid was either unconscious for the rest of the trip or was too scared to blink. Either way, he had Babba'd his last Lu.

One final note. During our week, and although there were only a couple of nights where fireworks were scheduled, on two separate occasions we came back to our room in the late afternoon to find a voice mail message that indicated there would be a special firework display that night. Unfortunately, the special shows were presented at 10:45 p.m., which was too late for our kids who, as you know by now, need their sleep. Nonetheless, it was nice to see a few things being offered that weren't on the original Disney schedule. Also, because of grad nights during our week, Disney had extended MK park hours on the Sunday following grad night and added an extra Spectromagic and firework show. (Is the magic returning?)

If I could sum up all of the above reports, the ten most important lessons from our trip were as follows. (1) Sleep is key for kids. Make sure you don't schedule too many early events in your first few days if you had to take an early flight in on day one. (2) Rental car is key. While not a necessity by any stretch of the imagination, it was a wonderful luxury; (3) Jasmine; (4) Stick with the Polynesian with young kids; (5) Let sleeping Antichrists lie; (6) Try Brown Derby, Victoria & Albert's, 50s Prime Time Cafe and Ohana; (7) Go to the Animal Kingdom BEFORE you eat the boar's mother for dinner at Victoria & Albert's; (8) Sagging breasts are truly beautiful (9) Don't wear hot pants if you're in your third trimester and (10) Did I mention Jasmine?

Cheers to all and to all a good day (or goodnight if applicable).

Bob (aka skidoo)

skidmo1@yahoo.com