WDW trip June 30th to July 13th 1999.

Cast of Characters

Larry 40 a Social Worker.
Jill 39 a Health Visitor.
Gregory 11- Primary 7
Edward 8 - Primary 3.
We all live in the North of Scotland, but are English. We are on our second trip to WDW the first was in 1998, We also spent two nights over New Year 1998/9 at DLParis.

Also in the cast list our friends from Yorkshire - Joanne and Kevin and their son Daniel who is 4. They are DVC members and are staying at the Boardwalk. They are serious Disney Veterans.

Accommodation - All Star Movies. Booked via Virgin Holidays - Flight from Manchester, England, on Virgin Air.

Background Information.

Our first trip to WDW was last year, we had been to Toronto and New York in 1997 and wanted to come to America again, and we felt that the kids were the right age to appreciate Disney.

After we booked the holiday I was rung by a friend Kevin, who I have known since I was 6yrs old, but hadn't spoken to for some years. We got talking and it transpired that we would be at Disney overlapping our holidays for a few days. "It's a Small World after all". So we agreed to meet. The second half of our holiday was in Miami, we were on our own for that but for the first week Kevin and Joanne were our guides. We had a great time, we fell in love with Disney. Kevin and Joanne were "on world" but we were "Off" At the Rodeway Inn on International Drive, so we would park at the CBR outside Kevin and Joanne's and pretend we were on world. It made us realise that we needed to be on world next time. They have upgraded now to DVC, and are staying at the BW this time.

Within days of getting back we booked for 14 days at the All Star Movies, even though it wasn't built yet. We had seen some of the construction work when we went on a fact finding visit to All Star Sports, during our 98 trip.

We also booked for Paris for New Year. The New Year fireworks over the castle at Paris, were superb. They had Mulan Music. I have it on video and don't tire of seeing it again and again.

Trip Planning Matters.

To be honest I haven't really done any. Trip Planning is for Wimps. (No Offence intended, to all you trip planners reading this. The world is made up of all types.) This is despite my time spent reading and thinking about the trip. I have read Both the official and unofficial guides, between two and three times each.

I have also read many trip reports, from Brian Bennett's Pages. I am writing this mainly for the same reason I give hitch hikers a lift. I feel that I owe you all one.

My favourite trip writer is Sue Holland,(WDW1972) I recommend that you download some of her reports, they are great

What I have done is decide that I am going to go to AK when I arrive which should be about 3pm on Wed 30th, to get my youngest back into rides, he liked Countdown to Extinction, and I think he will like the Asian Raft Ride. Then it will be bed, as we are 5 hours ahead in bonnie Scotland, and will have had to get up really early to get to the Airport, which is a 400 mile journey by car from our home in the wilds of Highland Scotland. If any of you are up here and fancy a haggis hunting expedition, let me know and I will arrange it for you. Though we are spending the night at the Brother in Law's who lives 25 miles from Manchester Airport. ( He's a good lad really)

The next day is Early Entry at Magic Kingdom, last year we turned up at 8am and had to see all the resort guest getting in whilst we were stuck at the Transport and Ticket Centre. Not this year my friends.

That is the extent of my trip planning, but I do have some general principles, however, do EE - go on rides in the morning. Have a rest or swim in the early afternoon, see fireworks, shows etc in the evening. (Actually it might be hard to see the fireworks at any other time.)

To keep the trip in reasonable economic bounds, eat a simple breakfast in the room, and make as much use of the re-fillable mugs as possible.

Panic Attack.

I am writing this 21 days prior to the trip( D-21). Greg fell over at school on Friday D-26 and had his leg put in a plaster cast. We don't know as we speak (type) if it is broken, the first X-rays were inconclusive, we should know in a week's time. Greg is planning no shows, no fireworks, and no rests. He is planning Tower of Terror, Test Track and Space Mountain et al. So both he and me are worried about how we will get on.

What it does prove is that if I had spent the year planning every minute of every day, I would be hastily rewriting it rather than writing this pre trip report for you, good reader, to read.

Also because we have 14 days to fill, it gets quite hard work trying to work it all out.

Although I have not hired a car and am relying on Disney Transportation I may do so for a couple of days as I want to go to Universal Studios and the Isles of Adventure. Or I may pay for a shuttle but I favour car hire.

Good News.

Today is D -9, and Greg's leg is not broken. He has torn two ligaments but they are mending fast. He will still have to take it easy, but I can cancel the wheelchair I have ordered.

Finally I have given some thought to Restaurants, and I have only three on the List.

The Prime Time Café, the Sci-fi Diner and Beaches and Cream. Though Sue Holland is advising me on Romantic Places to take Jill, If we can lose the Kids for a couple of hours.

The one I am not going to Visit is the Rose and Crown Pub in the British Section at Epcot. I'm not paying £10 for Fish and Chips. If you American Folk come to Britain try Harry Ramsden's, for some real Fish and Chips.

Here are a few words all you Americans might need to know, to fully understand this report.

Queues = Lines
Chips = Fries
Crisps = Chips
Football = Soccer
Colour = Color
Yorkshire = Biggest County in England
Scotland = Cold Country to the North of England.
Canadian = American with check shirt.
Wednesday 30th June 1999. 1/15.

At 4.45am we wake up at Jill's brother's house, having slept, if you could call it that on his spare bedroom floor, he is too mean to buy a bed for guests. He is kind enough to drive us to Manchester Airport about 25 miles from Huddersfield where he lives, we had driven down from Scotland the day before. I took my mum out for tea.

We go to the airport in my car, to save unloading at Jeremy's house. He shoots off then when checking the documentation we realise that I have forgotten to bring the insurance document. Not a good idea, no national health service in Florida.

So we then have to wait until a respectable hour, and ring a colleague of Jill's who goes to our house, she has a key to feed the hamsters. She finds the insurance certificate, and faxes it to us at Manchester Airport. ( Thanks to those boffins who invented the mobile phone and the fax machine. I love you all.)

We meet up with Kevin and whoosh we are in the Air, with Mr Branson's Virgin Empire, first the good news, the TV in the back of the seat is much bigger than last year. I saw Shakespeare in Love, Much Hyped in my opinion, and Little Noise, which was great. I took the boys into the cockpit, (I'm a glider pilot, and I have to do these things, its in the contract.)

But the flight was mega, mega, mega boring. Except for when near the end, I could see Cape Canaveral from the window and Launch Pads A and B.

I wasn't over impressed with having to find the baggage on carousels twice at the International Airport, and our Immigration Official was positively scary.

Virgin had arranged for a special van to pick us up from the Airport, due to Greg being on Crutches, he has injured his leg a school two weeks before. So we were at All Star Movies, in no time at all.

You know when you are tired, and a little grumpy every thing is so irritating, well check in was like that for me. Not many people in line before us, but there were 12 staff behind the desk, 5 in check out, 5 in guest services, and two in Check in (Aaaaaaarrgg.) Still when they saw Greg and his crutches, we got a great room, 1722 in 101 Dalmatians, within hobbling distance of the food court et al, and very quiet and on the ground floor. We didn't stay long in the room, we wanted to DISNEY.

We put our Ponchos on, it was raining heavily, and we put our re-fillable mugs in the room, and we set off for Animal Kingdom. But a bus came for MGM so we went there instead. (Trip planning is for wimps.)

When you wish upon a star your dreams come true. - We are back. I love art deco, and I love the MGM entrance. It was really belting it down when we got to MGM. Who cares. We went to The Great Movie Ride, I asked for the cowboy side and got it. I had only seen the gangster side before, and we got a cowgirl, but she was a bit tame, but I loved the bank on fire.

We split up Jill and Ed went off to Star Tours, which Ed likes, and me and Greg went to check out ToT, but there was an hour wait. So we headed back towards S Tours. ( They should upgrade it to the new film. Btw. Isn't Ewan Mcgregor wooden. {PS I know his sister in law. I won't tell her I thought he was wooden though.})

Our simulator had a fault with some seatbelts, so we were shifted to another one, its funny how all the shuttles are going to the moon of Endor.

We met up with Jill and Ed and did Muppet 3D. This is still cool, and like many I love Sam the Eagle's " This is a tribute to all nations, but mainly America." I use the phrase all the time now- such as. "This is a tribute to all football teams, but mainly Huddersfield Town."

Then we split up again, Jill and Ed to Doug Live, which they loved. Greg and I queued up for RnR, but after 20 mins. Of queue, the flipping thing broke down. Then we checked out ToT, still a queue longer than my very very tired patience. So I said we should check out test track, but this was stupid, because it didn't run in the wet. Anyway we had made it to Epcot, so we did Spaceship Earth, Greg fell asleep. So we went back to the ranch and crashed out. It was about 10pm, but 3am to us.

Thursday 1st July 1999. 2/15.

I woke up at 4am, local time - 9am my time, so a lie in then. There is bugger all to do at 4am, even at the All Star Movies, so I went to the bathroom, shut the door.(How I would come to love that door!!) and read the bumph that they gave me at check in.

After this excitement, we had breakfast, which was six big boxes of cereal we brought from Scotland, with milk from the shop at ASM. No point in giving Walt all my money. We then went off to do EE at MK.

First we went off to Tomorrow Land. My favourite by a long way, land in the whole of WDW. We did Buzz which was new to us. I had a poor score the first time, but I got better as time went on. I could beat the Kids though. When they pay for the trip - they can beat me. Until then, I reign Supreme. Still the park was quiet, so we did Space Mountain, and Ed went on it. Yippee, he quiet enjoyed it. Last year, he hated Big Thunder.

We sent the kids off on to Buzz - they did three trips, whilst Jill and I did Alien Encounter. I find this quite scary, and I haven't ever sat back in the seat. But there was a woman, with a little girl aged about four of five, and she screamed with such fear, I felt that it was appalling that she had been put through this ordeal. I think it is time that they had an age limit of about 11 or 12 on this, and I wouldn't let my kids on it then.

I waited at the end of the Buzz ride, for the kids to come off and chatted to a CM about lost property. She thought that customers were a bit stupid for leaving hats and cameras on the seats, but I left my hat at Beauty and the Beast last year, so I told her this and she back tracked at an alarming rate about this being stupid. Still it passed the time.

We then went on Big Thunder, just after park opening, which was quiet as everyone went on Splash first. Then Splash had a big queue, so we went on Haunted Mansion, which we overlooked last year. ( Though we did phantom manor in Paris. ) Ed didn't like this at all. Though we got through the BTM ok.

It was about 11am then so Time to leave the park, we tried to get some nosh, but the café's weren't open properly, so we went back to ASMv for lunch. On the way back we saw Tigger water ski-ing on the lake. ( One of the best highlights of the whole trip. )

We went back to MK for the 3pm parade, it was hot, hot hot.

First we went for a train ride, supposedly around the park but got off at Mickey's Toon Town Fair. And got the autographs of a few B Characters, those silly country Jam Bears and Mr Smee.

The parade was good and we had a good view from the hub at the Tomorrow land path. I had never seen the parade, but I had seen the whole of it on a Video done by Kevin, so I felt like I had seen it before. But it was "time to remember the magic" after all.

After the Parade, we went on rides with small lines, Carousel of Progress. ( I adore CoP.) TTA three times, This is one of my favourites, I love Tomorrow land, and this is a great way to soak up the atmosphere. I think I may change my name to Tom Morrow.

Then we did a first for us. Skyway to Fantasy Land, we just made it before they closed it for bad weather.

Then into adventure land, for Pirates of the Caribbean. I am sorry Walt, but this is a pale pale sad PoC compared with the one in France. That is much better, more atmospheric, more lively and tells the story in a better order, as well has having better drops. Though to be fair, you would expect the newer one to be better. Time for a big re-hab me thinks, me harties. Yo Ho.

Hail to the Chief. - "This is a tribute to all slushy nationalism, but mainly American slushy nationalism." - Hey guys, we did the Hall of the Presidents. You even clap at the end Wow. Get some History. Mind you if I thought that was bad, I hadn't been on the American Adventure at that stage, (at least the Hall of Presidents was funny in a lets laugh at the Americans, sort of way.) The American adventure is so soooo soooo snnnn snnnnnnsnns snnnnnnnzz zzzzzzz zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz

Then it was off back home, taking in a Barbershop Quartet on the way. Quite liked the funny chimes. I didn't know they did funny chimes.

We had a rest in our room. Our friends came to Eat at our Food Court, from the Boardwalk. I felt we were honoured to have DVC members come and eat with us mere mortals, in our humble food court. We were so proud, we let them play with our popcorn box light to celebrate. I discovered these Mexican ham wrap thingymybobs, which I ate for the next two weeks. They were very envious of our re-fillable mugs. Which they don't have at the Boardwalk. (HA.)

Then it was off to climb the wooden stairs at 10pm, or 3am proper time.

Friday 2nd July 1999.

Got up at 5 am today, didn't want to, but I had to. My body thought it was 10am, and even I can't sleep in to that time. I'm not a student any more.

So after breakfast of Scottish Cereal and a trip to the Food Court for some Coffee, it was off to AK. We were almost first at the gate, and I had the opportunity to chat with a chap from New Jersey, which in England means some one has bought you a new woollen pull-over. Nice chap though - he was down for some motor racing and the trip to AK was a side trip. I managed to impress him with my knowledge of matters Disney.

We enjoyed the little opening ceremony and Ed looked at some creepy crawlies in a fish tank, which a CM showed him. We then went to the rope drop and a CM Ranger told some funny announcements to pass the time and then we went on KS after the rope fell, of course we didn't run. Hey we are respectable English reserved types. ( Would you pass the cucumber sandwiches, Darling.) But we made the second truck. Our early start paid dividends, because we saw loads and loads of animals. Lion, Elephant, Warthog, Tommies, Hairy Mammoth and Sabre Toothed Tiger. This was Greeaaattt.

When we came off the ride the Queue ( I have trouble spelling Queue, why isn't it Que??) was about 25min, so the early bird catches the worm. Then we headed for Asia for the first time it wasn't there last time. {One day, Cast Member Joe, goes to work, he's a bit bored, working in Harambi, and so he strolls along a path he hasn't been on before at lunch time, and flipping eck, He finds a whole continent. Of course Disney are really pleased with him and so they open it up to the public. Thanks Joe. }

In Asia we ride KR Raft ride. Short but a great ride. The ride was quiet so we went around again. The Burnt logging area, does illustrate what devastation the logging in the rainforest must cause. Of course the real reason to ride is not to see the effects of ecological suicide of mankind, but to laugh your socks off at people getting wet through, with the vain hope that you won't. My son Edward got pretty wet, and shivered through the M/Trail, which we did next. Most Kids would be mega impressed with seeing a Tiger or two, but Ed would have swapped the experience for a dry T-shirt. Still saves the bother of washing them, I suppose.

Then we did the Festival of the Lion King. We were the Lions, He you queue up for over an hour in the sweltering heat, and then you are a Warthog. Ha Ha suckers. The show is great, I like the little birdie woman the best, but a good sing song to Elton Johns catchy tunes, is just fine by me. The boys like the monkeys the best.

Then we did Countdown to Extinction, twice. I noticed a few changes, the sort of scary, but not the sort of very scary dino, now seems to chase the flipping car. Also there is a right big thing at the end. I was impressed. (Hadn't done the JP River thingy at IOA then though, that has a "Oh my Godasoaurus" at the end.) I actually quite like the little black and white film on the monitor at the Picture Viewing area, quite a lot.

Any way the park was getting full by 11am and only losers, are in the parks when they are hot and full, so we departed.

Jill and I split up. Jill went off to the hotel with the Kids, and I set off on an adventure to find out what it would cost to hire a mini-van for three days to go, (Now Disney Fans, don't be nasty to me.) to Universal Studios and Islands mit Adventure. For this I went to the Dolphin, via MGM, and a burger at the Backlot Express, I like the Backlot express, it reminds me of works canteens in Yorkshire woollen mills. ( Na then, master, tha ad better get thee sen, down t' town, there's trouble at mill.)

I met a nice lady at the National Counter at the Dolphin, or the Fish as Greg and I insist of calling it, who gave me an offer that I couldn't refuse. (By the way Kevin, if you are reading this I haven't paid you my share yet.) The journey was pleasant but slow on the several friendships I travelled upon. But at Journeys end, I went back to the room at the All Stars. Then a quick swim with Greg in both pools. Then we were getting ready to go out to MGM for the evening. Whilst I was chatting to Jill, Greg went to the bathroom, and shut the door, but my fingers were in the door jam. The mechanical effect is to produce lots of torque like bolt cutters and my fingers were somewhat injured. (Sort of cry for ten minutes injured.) Anyway the pain subsided a little and we went out to MGM, we got there at 4-25 and saw the Moulan parade at the entrance. A CM saw me clutching my bloody hand and almost forced me into first aid and they patched me up and put an Ice Pack on my hand. Thanks guys, you don't mind paying Disney Prices, when you get such kind treatment from the staff. The had hurt for about a week, but it was ok, nothing broken.

Then Greg and I went on RnR, twice. Ed went through the pre-show, then heard the screech on the sound track and blobbed out. We left him with a CM and found him after the ride wandering about the shop, not quiet what we expected. This is a cool, cool ride. Great pre-show, queuing area, and great ride. I don't want to spoil the ride. It is not the same sort of muscle ride like the Hulk, but it is fast and quite atmospheric. Disney at its best.

Then we did ToT, hooray. I love ToT, for me Atmosphere is everything, and Atmosphere oozes, out of ToT. One slight complaint though. In the Fear Every Drop sequence, they have lost the grey blank wall, I loved staring at the grey blank wall for a second, last year. Bring it Back Please Mickey. Its good to get more time in the shaft though.

Then we went to the Backlot Express for a scoff. Twice in a day for me.

Then we did star tours for Ed.

Then we did the first show of Fantasmic. The wait was very tedious, at least until Dermit and his mate, did there very funny routine. (More on these two in a later instalment, our paths were to cross again.)

Fantasmic, what can you say. .........

The Times. "A terribly well executed blend of pyrotechnics and back projection blend to provide a memorable experience for the viewer."

The New York Post. " A triumph of Disney Magic, with its dark overtones and positive outcome."

The National Enquirer. " Mickey Mouse in three in a bed romp, with Governor Radcliffe and Pocahontas."

Well we were tired, we were happy and we went to bed.

Sat 3rd July. Day four of fifteen.

As you may know, I'm not a trip planner.



"Darling, I've been working on our trip to Walt Disney World, in March 2004, I thought that on the Thursday we could do the Jungle Cruise in the morning and then, we should pop over to Tom Sawyer Island, before the masses arrive at lunch time. I think that a cheese sandwich for lunch would be very pleasant........."

Sad Sad Sad, get a life.

But, today was the day when I had a cunning plan.

The plan was to get to MK at 7.30am, do my favourite Tomorrow land, then nip over to Mickey's 'Toon town fair, and get some character exposure whilst the masses were all on Splash Space and Big Thunder. Cunning plan or what?? Actually I nicked it from a trip report on Brian Bennett's page. So if it is yours -ta very much.

So here goes, got up, scoffed grub, got bus, arrived at MK, shoved ticket in turnstile, said "good morning" to CM and put Operation "Magic Storm" into action.

First we did Space Mountain, even then there was a five minute queue. Still not bad, and I like the loop on the monitor. Of course my favourite bit, is CRAZY LARRY. (Actually it's the weather, woman in the PVC suit, but I'm not going to admit that to all you lot am I?)

Then we did, BUZZ. I got a score of 127,000 which when I looked at the board, gave me a rating of Mega Cool Space Admiral or Something like that.

Ed wanted to do Buzz again, but when you have reached a score bordering on perfection, there is little point carrying on, so I went for a trip on Astro Orbiter. Greg went TTA-ing. Jill accompanied Ed.

Then I think you will agree, I had a masterful thought, such a wonderful thought that I will probably get the

Mr WDW Line Busting Award, 1999, for this one.

We went on the motor car ride, whilst still during EE with no queue. I call it Autopia, coz it's that in France. Lets face it, that has the worst deal in the queue/ pleasure ratio. Ok so you have to wait a bit for Space, but it's a great ride. For me TTA is a good deal, No Queue, lots of pleasure.

After that it was a trip on the Tea Cups, for the boys.

Then it was wait for the rope drop to MTTF. There were about 8 people there. The was a Mother and Daughter, practising for a M and D pageant. Little Miss Vomit and her Facelifted Mom. Of course you just know who Goofy chose to ride on the Barnstormer with him. ...... Yep.

Was I jealous . . Yep. Actually Greg and Ed were still on the tea cups at the time.

So we headed for the Barnstormer, second ride of the day, Vomit Features, got out of the front car with Goofs, and we got in. We went around twice, without having to get out then it was on for some serious hunting, character hunting.

We got...............

Pluto, Minni, Chip, Dale, Donald, Goofy, and the Big Cheese in his porch. The great bonus of this system is that you get Sir Michael in his house, and not the Judges Tent, he goes there after about 30min.

So as in most matters Disney, Get there Early, get it done, and then get out of the SUN. ........... You know it makes sense.

We were then poised to depart MK at about 10am, We took the train one stop.... And then we laughed at all the folk, streaming into an already almost full park. Is a bit of a lie in worth all that grief.

On the way out of MTTF we chatted to a very nice guard, on the Train, who was on the College scheme, she was really pleased to have a great job in the park, and not as a fast food fryer.

We took the Monorail to EPCOT. The plan being to take our time, and not worry about doing too much, we had had a good start, and could afford to take it easy.

So we went to the living Seas, My reaction to this was to give it a Blue Chip, Worthy but Dull award.

Then we went to living with the land, I took in the great nutritional advice on Food Rocks, I was a great Genesis fan as a lad, so I really liked Pitta Gabriel. Also my Music Teacher at school always used to show off, that he had been in Neil Mussaka's band so that was cool.

I didn't have a very healthy lunch though. Half a Chicken in Weapons Grade BBQ Sauce.

Then we did the film, thingy which was ok I think, but I have totally forgotten what it was about.

Then we did, "It's a Small Lettuce", I was mildly interested in the hydro-cultivation, but I thought that the fish, alligators and other animals were kept in appalling conditions. I am going to boycott that ride in future.

We were going to keep test track for a EE. However, whilst we were in the Land, it had rained and TT was shut down, and when we came out it was sunny, so we were first in the line, and we waited outside, for quite some time, but it was restful and we chatted to some very nice cast members and the Crash Dummy came to see us. So it was OK, then we went into the indoor wait, and there were a few, rain people, still waiting, but we got on quite quick.

Test Track is OK, but it wasn't as good as the hype would let you believe. I give it a 8/10. In a later instalment of this trip report Greg and I will give you our top five rides in Orlando, and Test Track doesn't make it on the list. Its 6th for me.

Then, things start to go wrong........................ OH NO.

I don't know if you know any Yorkshire people, MickeyMom Does - I know that. ... But we have a reputation for being a bit on the tight side with our money.

So when we discovered Ice Station Cool, it became a regular on the itinerary. But the first trip was a bit of a disaster........OH NO.

Yes I'm afraid so.....

There was a bit of wind, and it was blowing the water from the fountain and it was on the path outside ISC. But Ed on the prospect of getting some free pop, ran ahead, he slipped on the water, and fell and took a chunk out of his knee. So just like yesterday at MGM when the CM took me to the first aid, the ISC staff took us to first aid at EPCOT. A bit embarrassing twice in two days.

This might be the first trip report where the Quality of the first aid stations is examined.

Epcot 8/10

MGM 9/10.

"Did you notice how the bandages were just that little bit thicker at MGM, so it gets my vote."

They gave Ed a sticker with Minni Mouse as a nurse at Epcot, but I never got one at MGM........

Then we headed for America, We did American Adventure.

I would like to say that it was a very interesting experience where I learnt a lot of positive things about the historical development of a varied and fascinating country. However, I can't ........... It was a load of boring, self congratulatory sleep inducing tosh.

Sorry. I love America, I have spent the last three July 4th 's in the States, and I wore my Stars and Stripes Pin on July 4th with pride but AA, doesn't hit the spot for me.

Then we went to Morocco. I like Morocco the Country and I like Morocco at WS. For me it is the most realistic of the Countries.

Then I went off Mini Van hunting again, and Jill and the boys went for Beaver Tails.

Later we met up with our friends at the All Star Movies, food court, to plan our assault on Universal Studios, and IoA.

Afterwards I made a little trip to Downtown Disney. I even stood behind Kool, as in Kool and the Gang, who I had seen perform on the stage before I nipped into the Adventures Club.

As I was leaving PI, I heard, a guy, shout out.

"Hey Kool, Nice Set, Man."

Then a tiny little guy in front of me turned around and said.

"Thanks, Man"

Kool.

Sunday 4th July Day 5 out of 15.

American Independence Day.

This is my third American Independence Day in America, in three years.

97 - New York, me and the whole of Japan, went to see the Statue of Liberty.

98 - Air-boating on the Everglades. (Actually this is something I regret.. Very Environmentally Unfriendly.)

And now today, WDW. I am so poverty struck from this obsession with visiting the USA on July 4th that next year it will be celebrated in a tent, in Ullapool, on the West Coast, that is the West Coast of Scotland. Though I will probably drink a glass of Miller Lite, and eat a blueberry Muffin - Hey I know how to capture the essence of freedom.

I digress......... Got up a little later, Florida Time is starting to absorb me. Early Entry will get harder and harder to achieve. Therefor I have to make use of the time advantage us Europeans have whilst I still can.

Still made it to Animal Kingdom for 8.30 still quiet if you don't want to do Killamanjaro Safari. Jill and Edward set off for Camp M/M to get character encounters. It is beginning to get very hard to tell if the autograph books were bought for Jill or the boys. (They got Rafiki amongst others.- I was to meet him later, so that's ok.)

Greg and I put our ponchos on and went to Kali Raft Riding. We had three trips, and boy was it fun. Apart from one woman, who dropped out after the first ride. We all stayed on together. The first lady, left partly because she was so, so wet, and partly because some git in a poncho was laughing his socks off at her predicament. Then it became a game of Russian Roulette, based on where the raft had rotated to on the up ramp, and how it hit the down shoots. It was the most sadistic fun I have had in years.

Then Greg and I did Countdown to Extinction. I did the unforgivable sin, and took some flash photos. This was not quite so bad, as in other rides, because of the nature of the lighting. Anyway, my argument is that in the pre-show, the guy in the white coat says, and If I may quote, Your Honour,

"Flash Photography, I wouldn't"

Which in my humble submission is, not actually telling you not to do it. I rest my case.

We met up with Jill and Ed and went for a character breakfast at the Dino McDonalds, at about 10.00am we got in about 20 min later. There it was my turn to meet the Big Cheese, et all. The two high spots, were being put in the old caravan, (Trailer - to my adoring American readers.) Secondly seeing Goofy playing basket ball with a napkin. - you had to be there.

Then we did Countdown again for Ed. I was a good boy this time and didn't take any snaps.

Then I had to take Ed on my own to the MK to buy a toy, he had seen at the Toy Story booth. The one with the Alien being picked up by the "CLAW" on the roof. Any way it was a very small and insignificant toy, for which I had to drag myself miles, into a mega packed MK, Carrousel of Progress had a really long queue as did TTA. Wow I took a photo of the queue to CoP, I was so amazed. Anyway we didn't go on any rides, but hitched a lift to the Train Station, on the horse drawn tram. Cheers Dobbin.

Most trip reports would tell you that at this point they bought a battery from the Camera Care Centre, but I won't because this level of detail is very boring and detracts from the high quality of bizarre ramblings that I like to litter my trip reports with.

Anyway, I always thought that I should take it easy on July 4th, a very stupid in lots of ways day, as well as a great on in others to be in the parks. So I thought I should live life to the full, and go to a posh hotel and mingle with the Rich. So we went to the boardwalk, to see our chums. Joanne, Kevin and Daniel. We went to see their room. I had to do this. My favourite, and I'm sure yours TR writer is WDW1792, or Sue to her Chums, is a Big Big Advocate of life as a DVC member, so I had to check it out.

We went to a studio, and quite frankly I thought weaving rugs and mats into the carpet, was very strange. The room was quite cool, but and I'm sorry to have to say this Sue, not much bigger or better than ours at the All Star Work House, - established to provide relief to the feckless poor under the 1782 Poor Law (Amendment) Act.

Oh no, what have I said, - oh please don't be cross with me Sue.

Anyway, after checking out the room, and admiring the pottery stuck to the roof of the TV Cabinet, - True even I couldn't make it up. We went to the big pool. I really liked the Coney Island style theme, we had great fun. The surface of the pool played havoc with my big toe though. The Kids really enjoyed playing with a splash bomb. Actually Kevin and I really enjoyed playing with a splash bomb. Jill and Joanne didn't really like five men and boys throwing splash bombs at them though. I don't know, girls - what spoilsports.

Then we went to Beaches and Cream, I had heard about this in trip reports, and it was as good as we were expecting.

Then we decided we had to go for one of the special firework shows. Even my determination to avoid crowds, was suspended for this. Hey it's a holiday, go and have some fun. So we went to MGM. We had a "wee shottie" on Tower of Terror and Rock n Roll Coaster. Greg and I discovered the separate line for the front row. We had to wait for seven extra trips. Was it worth it,

TOO BLOODY RIGHT IT WAS WORTH IT.

It is a different ride on the front row. Don't put any gel or styling mousse in your hair, just before you ride, or your hair may permanently set at 35( backwards.

Just a side note here. -- I have just spent ages finding out how to do the ( in 35(. Of course now I can do (, I can do.

(o(.

(A Disney Moment brought to you by Wilmot the Magic Channel. )

After the Ride, we saw Sorcery in the Sky. This is only being shown twice this year, now Fantasmic has replaced it. July the 4th and the Millennium Eve. And it was a very good firework show too.

After the show, which had extra Yankee Doodle additives, for July the 4th we went home.

The bus to ASMv showed up quick but boy was there a queue for Dixie Landings. If you were in that Queue let me know, and I will be soothing and kind towards you to compensate.

Monday 5th July 1999. - Wednesday 7th July 1999.

The phone call at probably sounded like this. "Hi - its Mickey here, it's time to get up and get going."

But to me it sounded more like. " Hi - it's Mickey here, how could you do this to me, please don't go please........."

Yes you have guessed it, the time has come for the dark side. We are going to Universal Studios for three days. The plan is Monday at Universal, Tuesday at Islands of Adventure and Wednesday mopping up the bits we missed and re-adventuring the best bits.

Kevin turned up at about 9-30am with the Mini Van he hired from the Fish (Dolphin), handy for him in the Boardwalk. He had picked it up at 9am.

We were on our way, our first glimpse at the real world for a few days. I tried not to look. Though I did give a glancing look at the Rodeway Inn where we stayed last time.

Then we were there, I was impressed with the Smart looking car park. But was less impressed with the $1 extra charge by Universal. Later in the three days, Kevin and I chatting about the difference between US and Disney, thought that service was generally poorer than at Disney and costs slightly higher. So we invented a slogan for Universal Studio's and its Charging Policy, for incidentals.

"A little bit more, for a little bit less." This applied to Car Parking, Stroller Hire, Food, Drinks, Ice Cream and things in shops.

As this is a Disney Trip Report, I have decided to abandon my normal day to day style and adopt a summery style. I can do this it is called "Poetic Licence" But for those who prefer, a more traditional style, I give you my Boy Scout pledge, that normal services will be resumed shortly.

Universal Studios Florida.

I'm Sorry Guys, but this is looking a bit sad and tired. It is obvious that people will compare it with MGM-Studios. In many ways it is a worthy opponent, but I just don't think it has the style of MGM. Though it probably has more content. It doesn't have any rides which make my top five. MGM has two - Tower of Terror and Rock n Roll Coaster.

So what did we do.

Animal Actors. - This was ok, but a bit predictable. The Dollar Bill and the parrot, is done in Flights of Fantasy at AK, though they might have stolen it from Universal. They were calling the horse, Mr Ed, but in reality Mr Ed has been Mr. Dead, for quite some time. Also Babe, has been a bacon buttie for many a moon.

Blues Brothers, - Short but enjoyable, and having it in the street added to atmosphere. But they advertise this as an event, in Disney things like this just happen, and you hit upon the magic by accident, like the Bell Hop guys, Dermit and his mate. (More of this Later.)

Earthquake. They were "Casting" for the pre-show, I said to Jill, let me show you how to get picked. I shouted "YO" at the top of my voice, and the next news I was in the pre-show as a man who falls down the escalator.

Darling I'm an AC-TOR, I expect a chair with my name on the back next time.

I thought that the ride was a bit dull and predictable though. Much the same as Catastrophe Canyon. I suppose it depends to a certain degree which one you go on first. The second ride of a similar type losses out on the novelty factor.

Twister.. This was a big disappointment. I think Small Pencil of smoke, would be a better description.

Kong. Ok the ride is quite good, but not too scary, but standing in line for an hour, looking at a graffiti ridden underground station is not much fun, even if it is accurately themed.

Jaws. This made me jump, but it is so out of date now, Would you queue round the block to see the film Jaws any more, no. I don't quite know why I queued around the block for the ride either.

" Old Man River, that Old Man River, he Just keeps rolling..............."

Back to the Future. I enjoyed this more than Star Tours, the individual cars are cool. It could do with a re-hab. But it gets my vote as the second best ride at USF.

Terminator. This is very good, very good indeed. The pre-show is funny and it is by far the best 3D ride, I have been on. This gets my vote as the best event at USF. Hey, I'm not going to write anything different, Arnie might be reading.

ET, This is a great Kids ride, but I was fed up with Universal, we were late at night just before closing and there was no line to get through, but They had reduced staff, and one side was running but no staff to load people on, though at the entrance one bloke was chatting up the other worker. (Can't call them Cast Members - I'm afraid.) and doing no constructive work to get me on the ride.

"A little bit more, for a little bit less."

Islands of Adventure.

Wow, OK it might not be Disney, in terms of service, but It has got some Mega Great Rides. Hulk, Duelling Dragons, and Spiderman, are up there with the best anywhere.

The Islands, though non of them are actually Islands, are very well themed, All of them deserve praise. On the last night. I had seen Spiderman, and Kevin and Joanne had been put off by the length of the queue, so I decided to take, Daniel for a walk around the park at about closing time, so they could ride with Jill and our boys. I really enjoyed the atmosphere, walking around it took about 40 minutes, pushing the stroller slowly. I was in Jurassic Park almost alone, and it was quite spooky. When I got back, I waited at the exit to Spiderman, and they let me on. Although I hadn't properly done the baby swap, I had done much the same, so getting on Spiderman without suffering 75 min in the Queue, was an added bonus.

So what do I think.

Hulk, this is an hormone production facility, wow is that a mega coaster, even the lines weren't too bad. I love it. Its Green and it's Mean. 10/10

Spiderman, This is a great 3D ride, it is a great blend of 3D show and moving ride. The queue is imaginative, but only having to do it once, for two rides, was OK by me. 9/10

Duelling Dragons. This is a great set of Coasters, though it has the line from hell. (in length, no one was in it when we were there.) 9/10.

Cat in the Hat. Great Kids ride, it beats the pants off the new Poo ride at MK. (Sorry Walt, but it has to be said.)

Poseidon's adventure. I thought this was clever but dull. Fantasmic whips it into submission.

Dudley Do Right Ripsaw falls. If you took splash mountain, and gave it drugs like LSD for a week this is what you would get. I got so wet, it was unbelievable I have been drier swimming.

Popeye boat ride. This is quite good for the type, I like Kali better though.

Jurassic Park, River Ride. I liked this. A sort of Countdown to extinction on water. It has a good drop and a Sodding great big Raptor, which makes you forget there is a drop coming. Less boring than the films.

Dr Doom's Fearfall.

I thought that I would see this as a tame version of Tower of Terror, but it is a bit different. I enjoyed the thrust upwards, (oooohh missus.) I also rode it just to take a photo of Hulk from the air.( Available as an e-mail if requested.) So I saw it as not competing with ToT in the end, good job cos. it would have got thrashed within a inch of it's life.

Overall Impression.

Islands of Adventure is a great park, It is worth a day or two out of a WDW trip, especially for the curious and definitely for Big Time Thrill Ride Riders, like Greg and Myself. But it is not Disney, the staff are staff and not Cast Members. Things cost more, but less staff are on hand to serve you and keep queues down. But if you want to produce some interesting chemical reactions in your body you have just got to go on Hulk.

Now is the time for Greg and Larry's top five rides in Orlando. ( I hope you are reading this Mr Eisner. )

Greg

1. Hulk.

2. Duelling Dragons.

3. ToT

4. RnR

5. Spiderman.

Larry

1. Hulk

2. ToT

3. RnR

4. Duelling Dragons.

5. Spiderman.

Ok back to matters Disney in the next exciting episode of "How to blow your life savings in two weeks."

Thursday 8th July - Day 9/15

Ok so we wake up quite late, to be honest (and it always pays to be honest in these important matters,) after three days of hitting Universal and Islands of Adventure as hard as we could, without the benefits of a hotel to go to mid day, we were absolutely shattered. One of the photos taken at Islands of Adventure, was of me under a cartoon speech box, which pronounced "I need to take a vacation from this vacation."

What a jolly good idea. Today is a holiday, I declared. So what to do with our holiday, have a rest. No slogging around hot theme parks full of hot miserable queues. No way. Today is a relaxation and recuperation.

How about a trip to the countryside, tea and cucumber sandwiches on the lawn. A spot of cricket, a chat with the vicar. "My dear, what sweet fragrance from your roses." "Thank you Old Chap, how nice of you to say so."

Well maybe that is not possible. But there are valid alternatives. So I searched my Disney littered brain for a suggestion.

PING

Out one plopped - just on queue. I remembered a suggestion I had read in the Unofficial Guide to WDW, a splendid tome. It suggested that one should avoid the mid-day sun and crowds, at Tom Sawyer Island, and take libations at Aunt Polly's Dockside Café.

Spiffing Idea. So after a leisurely breakfast, we motor, courtesy of Disney Transport to the Magic Kingdom. To make sure we are not tempted by the delights of the lands on the way we decide to let "let the train, take the strain." And we shuffle around a stop to Fronteerland.

I'm sorry but there is something about that announcers voice at Main Street Station, that makes me, normally a responsible Government Official, shout at the top of my voice in a bad American accent.

"WOOOOOPP LAST CALL FOR FRONTEERLAND AND MICKEY'S TOONTOWN FAIR."

So we get to the station at Fronteerland and it is a short hop, (In the style of Brer Frog.) To the rafts to Tom Sawyer Island. Bit of a queue, and its hot, but no problem, once on the island, there is lots of shade.

It was here that the differing energy levels of our kids, and ourselves came to light. The kids shot off to explore the island, and we sat on our backsides at Aunt Polly's in the rocking chairs. Now I'm not aquatinted with Mark Twain, not at all. But hey, I'm not one to miss an opportunity to have a good rest when it raises itself. So all in all I sat at the side of the river for a good hour to an hour and a half. At two points in the stay, I motivated myself to check that the boys were still alive, and we even dragged them back so (Sue I hope you are impressed) the four of us could share an ice cream and a large sprite. I even on one of my travels made it over the suspension bridge and into and up to the top of the Fort. Wow Mr Energetic. Jill even went for a little explore, but mainly we sat and watched the steam ship sailing by, and by and by. Funny how the Captain, says the same joke every time. (It's not a tape is it. No it can't be.)

Anyway we went out of the park via the raft and the train. So a visit to the Magic Kingdom without visiting the Magic Kingdom. Magic!

After that we decided it was time to get some value from out Length of Stay passes. So we headed to Typhoon Lagoon. Or as I insisted, and I got the phrase from Kevin's even worse adopted American accent. "Ty-Pon La-Gon." So we gets there late in the afternoon and we expect it to be quiet and it is still quite full. Never mind we find a sun lounger in the shade, which is nice, by the lazy river entrance no 2. So we decide to go for a smooch around the park, lounging in the refreshing cool stream. But there is a bustle for the float rings. After 5 mins, Jill gets a hold of one, and a man, grabs it from her. I, like a knight in shining armour, says to this man, " You are a very rude, man. How can you snatch this from a woman." He, and I suspect he was from New York, told me a phrase that implied that I was interested in carnal relations with my mother. (Which I assure you dear reader is far from the truth.) Anyway I continued to remonstrate with the gentleman, until the point that I thought that my life was in imminent danger, then I hid under the water. Eventually we made it around the pool.

Then the thunder clap and lightening issued forth, and the park was effectively shut. We were there for around 40 minutes. I was very glad, that I hadn't paid directly for the entry.

Then after a trip of several Millennium around Downtown Disney we made it to All Star Movies. Some food was partaken by us all. Greg and I decided to do a little evening thrill riding. You can rest too much you know.

So we headed to MGM. The plan was to ride when everyone was at Fantasmic. Great Plan, except that it didn't work - the Queue for ToT was 75 min at about 8-30pm. So we did Rock and Roll. Which wasn't too bad, and we waited for the front row, after our first front row experience we were keen to do it again. I think it was this trip when I took a photo of us in the front car by sticking my hand out during the ride. I'm too mean to buy the official ones. "Christmas, Bah Humbug."

Then we went to see the little mermaid. I have a crush on her. (Sad but true.) We were in the front row. Bad Bad Move, the view of the effect is not good.

Then the lines to the big two rides were still bad, and this is our rest day, we did the Great Movie Ride, We did the Gangster Side, there were so few people everyone did the Gangster Side. I think the Gangster was the guy in the pool, earlier today. Well I pretended that when the gangster gets fried by the mummy it was the guy in the pool.

Ok this is the end today's trip report, now Yoos Guyz had better read the next one or you might get Wacked.

Ok Yoos Guyz.

Friday 9th July Day 10/15.

First of all the bad news, I got up late, despite my holiday from my holiday yesterday, we are still a bit worn out. So time for a change of plan. The early part of the holiday was to get in early and get things done, and then get out. (The General Patton approach.) Now it is take your time, and do the things that everyone else isn't doing. So when they are in shows, we are in lines, and when they are in lines, we are in shows. When they are in lines and in shows, we are in trouble.

Anyway today is to be different, we are going up market. Yes we put on our best bib and tucker and head for the Grand Floridan. So off we go, via the omnibus and the monorail. We try to be posh, and look dignified. Me laughing at all the expensive things in the toff shops, rather gives the game away. Then when we ask a cast member where the cheepo Café is, which turns out to be near the boat dock. I felt that his "just turn right by the corner of the building." really means, "Get back to the All Stars where you belong, you Urchin."

So we have a couple of Ice Floats, which Jill decides are really re-fillable mugs, and she fills them with Coke. I expect her to get caught doing this and we will spend the next three months in the Orange County Sadistic Penal Institution.

Then we hire a pontoon boat. And take to the Sea, "Oh the life on the ocean way, tra la la la la laaar" So we cruise around discovery Island, wave to the flamingo's and get back after 29min exactly, as I am too mean, to pay for an hour. On the way I get told off, by the speed patrol boat, for letting Gregory drive. So having been told off for letting an 11 year old drive, even if it was done in a nice Disney sort of way, I had to have my revenge, so when she zoomed out of sight, I let Ed who is 8 have a drive. (Boy am I a radical. I will be refusing the Draft next.)

So after our Nautical Travels we head for the MK, on the way through the lobby of the Grand Floridan, we see and hear a solo violinist playing "When you wish upon a star." That was very nice, and you don't get that sort of treatment at the All Stars.

At the Magic Kingdom, in our spirit of being idle/tired we have abandoned walking about as much as possible. So we took a vintage car up Main Street, we were the only family in it, which was great. I was quite surprised at the speed he shot up the street to the castle, but the masses parted like the sea for Moses. "Beep Beep."

The main reason to be there at this time, was to see Disney Mania, which was very nice. I thought it was a much better show than Galaxy Search, and I could never understand why in that show, the chorus girls/boys were wearing extremely large condoms on their heads, in what was clearly a family show. One of the problems with shows, is that when you video them you end up watching them in Black and White, which rather detracts from them. I was quite glad that the battery ran out in the end.

This was not the time to be in the park really as it was very full and hot, and against my principles. So we did a first. We went on Space Mountain, because we wanted to stand in the queue to cool down in the air conditioning.

Afterwards I went to the All Stars for a new video battery and Jill and the boys did Buzz and TTA. Jill then had a really bad journey to MGM, via the Ticket and Transportation Centre. I'm sorry but I think that they should put busses on between MK and MGM and AK. To force you to mix with the great un-washed day visitors, when you are "On World", is just not good enough. If they do not improve this by the time I get back to WDW I shall be forced to ask Tony Blair to send a strong letter to Mr Eisner. So you have been warned. Having said that if we had any brains we would have realised that all you do is jump one monorail station, or even walk to the Contemporary and then get a resort bus from there.

So we were late meeting for our Priority Seating at the Sci-Fi Diner. But we got in ok. I think the Cast Member felt sorry for me because she thought I had been stood up. We went in, and I thought that the effect was very cool and quite good fun. One problem is that we were in a car for six, so they put two people behind us, saying they were "Hitch-hikers" You could tell that they were not married,(to each other) they spent hours talking to one another, in a very loud voice. So Jill plucked up courage, to ask if we could move to another car, the waiter agreed but he didn't seem over happy about it. Also the food, was poor as many have described. The portions were so small, even Sue Holland might have been able to finish one. ( Now don't be silly Larry.)

When we left, it was very rainy. So we hung around in the shop for a bit, then headed to ToT, where Ed had his first ride, he really enjoyed it.. This was amazing, because we were in a car with us and about 15 Brazilians, one of them latched on to me, and asked me if it was scary so I lied, and said not. He screamed through the whole ride, He was about 15 and Ed 8, was more calm. Afterwards, he told me that I was a very nice man and he loved me. (Who can blame him. ) Anyway it was fun riding with them and I think they take more stick than they deserve, not least on RADP. ( oooh a little bit of politics....)

We queued up for RnR, and my Brazilian friend found me and came to say hello in the queue, I thought that he was going to ride with us, but he seemed too scared and he disappeared. Ed decided to not ride, but he comes closer each time he queues.

After this we did Beauty and the Beast Show, which don't tell anyone, but I quite like this. ( I like to express my feminine side you know.)

We then went for a nosy at the Polynesian, but didn't stay long.

Afterwards, Greg's leg was really hurting, he had torn his ligaments three weeks before. So Jill took him back to the ranch.

Ed and I went to see the Main Street Electrical Parade at MK, Whilst we were waiting, we chatted to a woman who had been at WDW for an interview as an engineer. She told me about the selection process which was very exhaustive and exhausting. But she had her daughter there and was determined to enjoy some of the trip, whilst she waited for the results of the selection process. She seemed very keen and full of Disney spirit, so I hope she got the job. She must have been rich though, as she bought 4 of those light stick thingys in different colours, even though she only had one child with her.

The parade was quite good, but I'm a Spectromagic man myself. ( Actually I played the Music, today. I.e. the day I am writing this on the WDW CD, big mistake it is in my head now, and it just won't go away.)

After this we did Splash which was a walk on. Though it broke down, a few times on the trip around. Then we got Tigger and Eyore's photos, and did the new Poo ride, (OK but not as good as Cat in the Hat.) It was a 30 min wait at 10-30pm. (I must be mad to do that.)

Then we went home, and off to bed to dream about Vintage Cars, Castles Pete's Dragon and Areosmith Concerts.

Saturday 10th July 1999. Day 11/15.

Day 11, I don't know about you but I take holidays as a metaphor for the mortality of the human existence. When you are a child it is the first few days of the holiday, and when you are 35 -40 this equates to the middle weekend. By day 11/15 retirement beckons. Soon it will be bed pans, infirmity and dementia. So day 11 arrives and I start to have the first pangs of sadness about going home.

Still today is a big day my first RADP meet, time to get out the anorak, flask and other items shared by Train Spotters and Radp'ers.

Before that a trip to Epcot. Unfortunately Greg's leg is very sore, so we stop to borrow a wheel-chair from the pound. This is the first time we have had to do this, the last few days have overdone it for him.

Fist stop is Ice Station Cool. I decided that I like the Beverly, so - much to the horror of tourists, I show off by drinking full cups, in front of them, after they have choked on their pathetic attempts to drink the stuff, to show just how mega macho I am.

Then we go to see Honey I shrunk the Audience, I didn't really like this last year, but one has to be open minded about these things. So I had another try, and I quite liked it this year, I had forgotten that Eric Idle was in it. You know the guy from Monty Python. No you idiot, not the tall one, that's John Cleese. Yes the silly one. (Bye the way, there is a social club in Bradford, Yorkshire, in a district called Idle, and the club is called. Idle Working Men's Club.)

I digress, as usual....... Then we go to one of my favourite bits of Epcot, which is Ellen's Universe of Energy. I read that the anamatronic of Ellen is one of the most expensive in WDW. All I can say is that they must have seen them coming, it was modelled on Ellen when she is 75 and after she had had a facelift, at least the woolly jumper was the right colour. Still I am impressed easily and the mechanics of the ride impress me. Having said that I like watching the flaps go up and down on aircraft when they take off and land. People are sat next to me on planes, screaming with fear on take off and all I can offer them in the way of succour is, "those are very smooth hydraulics, don't you think."

We then popped next door to see Body Tours and Cranium Command. I noticed that Body Tours was directed by Leonard Nimmoy. Wow. ( Still think it is rubbish though.)

I like Cranium Command, imagine being impressed by infantile humour. ( If you have waded this far into my trip report, you must like it as well. ) A novel concept nevertheless.

Then disaster struck. We spent an absolute fortune on four yoghurt Ice Cream cones. When I realised what they cost, about three years national domestic product of the average west African country, I felt positively ill.

Jill did "The Making of Me", but she is a Nurse and she likes all that yucky stuff. I was still contemplating suicide over the ice creams.

Still then we were off to China for Lunch. I like Chinese food. But Ed, the little sweet-heart doesn't - so muggins here has to walk, in the hot dessert sun, to America for a Hot Dog and fries for him. Never has the gulf between China and the USA seemed so big. Still when I got back the Chinese food was nice, I hope he didn't notice but I eat most of his fries on the walk back. The price of going for them, I think.

After lunch I have to walk back to America again. Now if you think that Lord of the Dance, is the best thing since sliced bread, then miss out the next bit.

I was bored, I hated it, it is hyped clap-trap. I don't want to ever have to sit through Michael Flatulence's, Epic (abridged.) ever again.

Jill thought it was great. Hey and she should know.

Then we went to see something more to my taste. British Invasion, Hey OK you couldn't pretend it was the Beatles, but they were quite good, and with Mary Poppins as a bonus, who can complain. They sang Hey Jude, with it's never ending ending at the end.

Hey Jude, na na na nanana nar. Hey Jude. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. Hey Jude. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. Hey Jude. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. Hey Jude. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. na na na nanana nar. Hey Jude.

After British Invasion, we went to Canada, where the boys and moi, went to see. "O Canada," I like Canada, I've been to Canada twice, My Uncle lives in Toronto. The most beautiful place I have ever been in the world is Lake Louise. I say this because I don't want to upset any Canadian readers of this trip report........... The Unofficial Guide to WDW says that after you see O Canada, it makes you want to rush to the travel agent to book the next plane. It made me want to get a sick bag.

Jill missed this because she wanted to see "Off Kilter." Sadly it was Off.

We then did space ship earth. Typical Comment of Space Ship Earth in all the other trip reports I have read is ...."I enjoyed Space Ship Earth a great deal, but I do prefer the Walter Cronkite Narration to Jeremy Irons."........... I say give the Iron's boy a chance.

Then time to leave, It took 1hour to get from Epcot to Pleasure Island, the journey was a nightmare, not made better because I was getting grumpy, because I thought I would miss the RADP meet. I don't know about you but I don't really believe that Internet people really exist. I wanted to prove my existence.

But I made the meet at the Adventurers Club. And they were sort of, but not quite normal people. Not quite in the sense that normal people don't spend 30 minutes deciding if Fire is Better than Ice.

But hey I got to meet some of the Heavy Weight Hitters on Radp. Top of the Tree, King of the Hill..... Bartender Sam, and Rachel the Mermaid of the North, and MickeyMom (and Larry.) Jill went off with the boys, after a bit. Edward was not impressed when Samantha Sterling called Greg and Ed, the Puma Boys because they were both wearing Identical Orange Puma T-shirts. Ed refused to wear the same clothes as Greg for the rest of the trip.

The highlight of the meet for me was when Bartender Sam tried to fix the result of the Balderdash Cup, and narrowly failed. It was quite nice meeting them all, and my apologies to those whose names I have forgotten. But like lots of comedians and performers, I am quite shy in real life and after a while I slid off into the night. Actually I went to Macdonald's for a burger.

So it was with a heavy heart and an even heavier stomach that another precious day of the holiday was over, and I rode the roller coaster of a ride that is Disney Transportation back to the house on the hill, to sleep away my cares.

O Canada, O Canada, you're the most wonderful place on god's earth..( Oh sod it, that bloody song is in my head now..........)

Sunday 11th July 1999. Day 12/15.

We were not meeting at Downtown Disney until 10.30am, so we could take our time getting up, having breakfast and warming our vocal chords singing - O Happy Day- , at the top of our voices. Today was the Gospel Brunch at House of Blues. Jill had the job of sorting out the arrangements. Jill had been informed by Mickey Mouse's personal answer-phone, that you couldn't book the House of Blues at the weekend. So we motored out to Down Town Disney.

We met Joanne outside the House of Blues, Kevin was looking around Virgin Mega Store. Jill went to pay for our tickets, to find that the gig was booked up months ago. Apparently you can't book at weekends except for the Brunch. Didn't want to go anyway.

So we had a mooch around Downtown for a bit, then we went to the Rainforest Café. We enjoyed our meal, Kevin asked for the hot chicken and shrimp pasta. We come from the background where after a nights drinking, where you show your macho credibility by eating the hottest vindaloo curry that you can find. I wasn't being out done by him, so I had it as well. It was Hot. Three glasses of Coke HOT. The meal was quite expensive, but good.

We then did our shopping for the trip at the Marketplace, not forgetting our American Express discount. (The only reason I got an Amex card.) By the way, I bought you a present, but It got lost when my luggage went missing at the airport. Honest, - no it's true!

After this we said our good byes to Kevin and Joanne, and headed for Animal Kingdom. 4.30 p.m. and we are only just getting into a park. Wow.

First we did Countdown to Extinction.. Pre Show Man..."Flash Photography, I wouldn't." Fine, so I taped it on the video. Boy is that an easy thing to do. - Not. I nearly smashed my own face in, hanging on to the camera for grim life. 30 minute wait, which was ok, because I listened to all the pre - pre show with Bill Nye. Bill Nye the Science Guy is the only famous person who has replied to an e-mail I sent him. (What do you mean, I'm a sad old git, sending e-mails to minor celebrities. )

Then we did Kilimanjaro Safari, as a walk on, it was about 5:15pm by then. Still it was a good show, we saw quite a lot of animals, about 3/4 of the ones we saw at 8am. I noticed on the trip to Conservation Station, which we did soon after, that quite a few animals had been put back in the cages.

Before we did the Panaganini Trail which is really good, you can't help but fall in love with the little gorilla. What a cute guy. He reminds me of Kevin. We took the train to Conservation Station, I think that the themeing of the station is really cool. Some great touches, see the notices on the notice board to see what I mean. Conservation Station is a good place to hang out when you are shattered. I hid in one of the sound booths, for a rest, laying down on the couch in the dark. Very soothing. It's a good job that Grandma Willow, didn't catch me with my feet up on the seats.

We stayed there until park closing, and walked slowly, very slowly back to the transport.

We headed over to Epcot, because we had to see two important activities, Off Kilter and Illuminations. We found a small piece of fence, opposite Off Kilter. Jill got us some Beaver Tails for a snack. I defended my territory with my life, whilst Jill Saw Off Kilter. It was a bit like attending a ceilidh. If I hadn't been defending my space, I would have organised a couple of Dashing White Sargent's and a Strip the Willow.

After Fantasmic, Illuminations needs a make over. But they are doing that for 2000, so I will let them off.

Jill and the boys went home, and I headed to tape the 11pm Fantasmic. This meant that I was at the park closing of three parks, on the same day. Beat that.

Whilst I was at MGM, I decided to try a turkey leg. Boy did I feel like a Caveman. By the end of it, I was seriously considering vegetarianism.

Going to the 11pm show, meant that I could get on the fifth row, in the centre, getting there only 30 minutes before show time. This was a fantastic place to tape the show from. I enjoyed it as much the second time, though I watched most of it from the black and white viewfinder. I was a bit miffed the dragon's fire didn't work.

Monday 12th July 1999 Day 13/15.

We had a slight lie in, but we needed to get ourselves to the Contemporary, to meet Kevin and Joanne, for a nosh up at Chef Mickey's. We thought that the food, was good, but our location was poor by the serving lines. I quite enjoyed the waving of the napkins, every 20 minutes. More photos with the characters. That is it I am worried that 95% of my photo's will be of the kids, with every conceivable character, so I am now going to Ban this, unless it is a character I want to stand next to. Hypocrisy, what's that?

We then went to the Grand Floridan for some boating on Seven Seas Lagoon. Kevin - Daniel and Greg - Me paired up in Watermice. Mine had seaweed on the prop, after Kevin Shot out of the Harbour, I only saw him again, when he came to torment me about being slow. After half an hour, I took it back, and complained. They basically said that it was slow, because I was fat. Cheeky sods. But they let us have another shot, in a different one, which was faster. Greg did the driving most of the time.

After that, Jill played lets pretend that these coke cartons, are re-fillable once again in the Grand Floridan Café and games room. Followed by a very special treat for the boys. They went swimming with Goofy, Tigger and Pluto, in the Grand Floridan pool, courtesy of Kevin and Joanne's DVC card. Edward played with Pluto on his own in the pool for about 10 minutes. What a big thrill for him. Greg enjoyed being with Tigger too.

I went off to the lobby which is like a big lounge, and sat in an all consuming chair and read the New York Post. It was like a scene from a Pall Mall Club, just like at the start of Around the World in 80 days. Fantastic. "I say old, chap. Have you heard, they have invented this new electricity stuff. It come down pipes, like gas, but there is no smell at all"

After leaving our friends, we went to Animal Kingdom via the Contemporary, (Don't ask why we didn't go from the Grand Flo.)

Today we were in the Parks for 4.00 p.m., an early start compared with yesterday. The main purpose of our trip was to see Tarzan Rocks. This was our last chance before going home. It was well worth the effort. It is like a cross between a Genesis Rock Concert and Starlight Express. I thought that it is the best live performance show, at Disney. When every one gets to know the songs, it will be brilliant. I bought the Tarzan Soundtrack on the strength of it, and I taped lots of it.

After this we saw the bird show, at Caravan Stage, this was low key, but very entertaining. I love the trained Rat. Hey is it as good as the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room though? I leave this for you to decide.

Jill and Ed went of to see the Pocahontas Show, and Greg and I did Countdown, and saw the Dino Bones Exhibition. It seemed funny to see what is a traditional museum exhibition in Disney. Still it was quite informative, even if only one of the exhibits was real and not a plaster cast.

We went to the Movies for tea. (Tea - Yorkshire speak for Evening Meal.) Then we went to Magic Kingdom, so Jill could see the Main Street Electrical Parade. (Bring back Spectromagic.) The boys and I did Big Thunder. It seemed really wild and fast in the dark. Kewl.

Then Ed joined Jill, and Greg and I did, Jungle Cruise, as almost a walk on. Pirates of the Caribbean as a walk on and The Tiki Tiki Tiki - Tiki Room as a walk in. Can you tell, that I have bought the WDW CD, and the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, -Tiki Room Track is now etched in my brain with the clarity of a Rembrant Self Portrait in Fine Charcoal.

I met Jill and we saw the fireworks from outside the Christmas Shop in Liberty Square, almost missing the show, as we were arguing as to whether this was a good place or not. (By the way it is a rubbish place, ignore Jill)

Then we had a late night raid on Fantasyland, but it was busy, so we just did the Tea Cups, And the Barnstormer at MTTF. The train to Main Street was down, due to a firework setting something alight, I think it was the tails of Mickey Mouse's Evening Suit actually. So we had to walk through Tomorrowland, to depart from the park.

Tomorrow is the last full day. (Everyone is says this in their trip reports, and I don't want to annoy you dear readers, so I will as well. - Good Night.)

Tuesday 13th July Day 14/15.

Time waits for no man. An our time at Disney is rapidly running out, so time to revert back to an early morning raid. Greg and I were conscious that we had only ridden Test Track once, in a two week stay, ridiculous. So we set the Mickey Alarm, up with the lark and off to Epcot, for Early Entry.

We got to there at 7.30am, rushed to Test Track, got there about 7.35am, and had about a 5 minute wait. The ride lasts about 5 minutes, and it is OK, and quite exciting in the second part when it shoots around the World Of Motion building. But not and I repeat not worth a 90minute wait. We left the building at about 7.50am and at that time the queue had grown from 5 minutes to a posted 45 minutes. Get there early or use the single rider bypass.

This was a one ride raid, on Epcot, so we walked across to International Gateway, which was pleasant having World Showcase to ourselves, even if it wasn't open. Then we walked to the Yacht and Beach Club, and got the Friendship Service to MGM, for our second opening of the morning, and It was only about 8.30am. At rope drop, we rushed to Tower of Terror, and rode that with a couple of minutes wait. Then we sat outside Rock n Roll Coaster, for over an hour, listening to the music, and chatting to the Guards. We wanted to be on the front row, for the first ride of the day, but it had broken down, on power up, so we got fed up, and left. But it was a pleasant rest.

Greg and I were peckish, so we headed to Backlot Diner for some grub. Then we were due to meet at the Boardwalk to go swimming with Joanne and Kevin. On the way out of the park I had my photo taken with Raffiki. We got on the same boat as Jill, who was at the dock, by chance.

Then we invaded the little pool, by the Community Centre, did some swimming an played some free pinball. The only trouble was the left flipper was sticky, and even the deaf dumb and blind kid, wouldn't have got a great score, despite playing a mean pinball.

Still it was nice chilling out, with the DVC elite, once more. They certainly get a few useful perks, with their membership. After a couple of hours at the boardwalk, we went back to MGM for our Priority Seating at the Prime Time Café.

The PTC was great fun, we had a good server, who engaged Edward, and another one kept trying to steal, Gregory's American Football, which he had brought with him. The food, was quite good, and better than the Sci-Fi Diner. Ed got a Coke float, with the Coke in a glass bottle. ( Wow you don't see these very often any more. He brought it home as a souvenir.) We had a table with a TV, so I sat with my elbows on the table watching it. The waiter took our photo, one of very few of us together, and it has turned out quite nice. So I would get your skates on and get down and try some of Mom's cooking and meet all your cousins that you haven't seen in a while.

One of the highlights of the tour was at MGM when we saw the two bell hops from the Fantasmic Show performing in the street, there New York Humour is very funny, and afterwards, they sang to Gregory and then wrote the words to the song in the autograph book, they also stole a woman's video, and filmed some really funny things with it, a great memory for her to take home. These unexpected encounters are what rises Disney miles above mere "theme parks"

Still today was for some thrill riding, we have slacked off in recent days, and quite frankly it just won't do. Write out 100 times, in your autograph book.

"I must not waste valuable Tower of Terror Time, watching musical shows."

So we did, Rock and Roll, which was now fixed, instead of being Numbers One and Two today, we were riders number Four Thousand Two Hundred and Six, and Seven. But Edward rode it for the first time at about the forth attempt, and of course, he said that he liked it and wanted to go again.

In the spirit of being adventurous, Jill rode the Tower of Terror, after saying all fortnight that there was no way she was riding it, and liked it so much she went straight on again.

Then we did the Animation Tour, because we somehow had missed this both this year and last. I thought that it was nostalgic more than informative. They certainly know how to hide their work when the go home at night. I was hoping to take a few illicit snaps, and sell them to the Universal Empire, starting a career as an industrial spy. My names Bond, Larry Bond, 007.5

There was no stopping Jill and Ed, the newly created thrill seekers, so they went to ride RnR whilst Greg and I did Doug, I don't really like cartoons, but I enjoyed the show, even the pre-show. I'm going to whooop and holler and shout YO at the top of my voice next time, cos I want to be a Beat.

Going home from the park we had a Killer Bus Driver, he was so funny, he did impressions of the rides. This included, Tower of Terror, opening and shutting his doors and riding onto the kerbs. Then he told us that he had his system for avoiding scary moments in rides, and that was to close his eyes, for 10 seconds, and after that, the scary bit had gone away. The only ride this didn't work on was It's a Small World, you close your eyes count to 10 and it is STILL THERE. We had a communal sing of IASM theme song. He was brilliant, but how he hasn't killed someone with his driving is a total mystery.

So it was a happy but tired family who went to sleep in room 1722, for the final time.

Wednesday 14th July Day 15/15.

Well time to go home, but not until one last trip to the Magic Kingdom, it had to be there.

We were there for park opening, and heard the announcement over the Tannoy, Mr Smee and Captain Hook were doing the honours at the rope drop to adventure land. We nipped through there and did splash mountain. Then we did Big Thunder, with little wait for either. These were the first two rides we did on our first day last year, so I think that doing them on the last day, might be a nice little tradition to have.

Then we went to Tomorrowland to say goodbye. We rode TTA, but it had broken down so we had to wait a little while, but I wanted to tape, the bit when the page, Tom Morrow. It is a big favourite of mine, A great way to soak up the atmosphere. Then we did Carousel of Progress, which had such a line at opening we got into the second show. I taped most of it, I know I shouldn't but I like it so much, and the soundtrack isn't on the WDW CD. I hope that they are not trying to phase the ride out with the restricted opening times, it still seems popular, and I think that the fuss over Toad, would be tame compared with what would happen about closing CoP.

We did the Time Keeper, which is OK and a lot better for me with a English Soundtrack, than it was with the original French one. They have cut a bit out of the film, the bit with Concorde at the Paris Airport. So to see it all, you will have to go to Disneyland Paris.

On the way out I saw a couple of old Mickey Mouse Films and a Silly Symphony in the new theatre in the Camera Care Centre, that place seems almost deserted, and is a great place for a quite rest. I sent Sue Holland and Brian, my internet chums, a Photo E-mail, as a last act, and then the trip was over.

I had my hand stamped on the way out. I will have to go back now.

We had lunch at the All Stars, my favourite Mexican wrap thingamabob and after a dreadful Mears Experience, and a Three Hour wait on the plane, waiting for the engine to start, we were in Manchester and it was another day, another world, and time to start planning the next trip.

Thanks to all of you who have read all my report, and for the kind messages you have sent to me. If you think my report is very funny and you know any influential people who could give me a well paid job in the sun, don't be frightened to send it to them.

Cheers, Your friend in Scotland

Larry Wilmot

larry@waltdworld.freeserve.co.uk