Today I saw USH's new show "Spiderman Rocks."

To put it politely, Spiderman does not rock.

First of all, Spidey is hardly in the thing. It's more like "Mary Jane Rocks, with a special appearance by Spiderman."

Secondly, there is absolutely no plot. After a few moments of dialogue, the rest of the show is non-stop music--pop songs that do nothing to advance the story. The Green Goblin appears on a slow-moving glider with no apparent motivation for attacking Spiderman.

Thirdly, this is not family-friendly entertainment. Peter Parker is shirtless for some time. Thugs trying to attack MJ sing the Ricky Martin tune "She Bangs." The Green Goblin tells Spidey that he's "****ed off." Mary Jane bumps and grinds, and in some sort of attempt to distract the Green Goblin, tells him, "Honey, you've hit the jackpot!" She then sings the chorus of "Lady Marmalade"--"Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?" The show concludes with a lengthy kiss between Spiderman and MJ.

Finally, the show suffers from a lack of focus. (I guess that happens when you have no plot!) One minute it's a musical, the next it's a stunt show--and the stunts themselves are clumsily executed. There is at one point a musical number that is several minutes long--obviously covering the costume change for Peter Parker as he becomes Spiderman--that is painfully bad. The poor cast tried to get the audience involved in clapping and met with only a lukewarm response.

The kids sitting behind me--both huge Spidey fans, as evidenced by their logo t-shirts and hats--sat silent through the entire show.

A couple of other items of note:
1. The Green Goblin in the show is the comic book version, not the film version. Universal owns the rights only to the comic book.

2. Spidey never does his trademark action, shooting a web. Instead, he struggles with a harness in order to swing around the stage.

I was disappointed, embarrassed, and mostly horrified.

wordyone

I just experienced "Spider-Man Rocks!", and I am sorry to agree with wordyone .

"Waterworld" is a stunt show, and a good one. The former inhabitant of the Castle Theater at USH, "Beetlejuice's Rockin' Graveyard Revue", was monsters singing rock songs, with basically no plot.

"Spider-Man Rocks!" seems to have aimed for the best of both, but ended up with the worst.

The first few music-less minutes are delightful. We establish nerdy Peter, his class goes on a field trip, a spider bites him and he begins to change.

Then the music starts. Spider-Man doesn't even sing, nor does the Goblin. We instead have multiple-roles "various others" who form a kind of Greek chorus, and sing to accompany the action -- "Another One Bites the Dust," for instance, when Spidey scatters the thugs who seem intent on raping Mary Jane. To be fair, these guys also provide some Stomp-like rhythm by banging on the "Rent"-inspired set, and maneuver follow-spotlights that for some reason have been placed onstage.

As wordyone said, with Spidey's harness swing and the Goblin's incredibly slow glider, the bulk of the focus and action falls on MJ... but after she fights off the rapists, all she can do is dance. She even gyrates to seduce and distract the Goblin... or so we assume. We aren't given any dialogue to explain it.

The Goblin, by the way, is the comic version, which means he wears a jester's hat, a purple vest, and carries his bombs in a little satchel slung over his shoulder.

The movie -- not a Universal production, remember -- has such heart and humor, and its absence is felt in this all-rock no-talk production. All we have to fall back on is the stunts, which are mostly outdone by "Waterworld."

I understand that stunts, effects and show tech cost money.

But how much does good writing cost? Or just plain good sense?

I have to agree with wordyone and JangoFett. Spiderman does not rock. I was annoyed that we had spent so much time in line to see it. :mad: It was just lame. The singing was lame, and the "stunts" were hardly stunts. On the plus side, Spidy was shirtless for a while, and HELLO did he have nice abs. :D

Something to keep in mind with regards to Spiderman Rocks - it was only ok'ed for development in MARCH and opened MAY 24...

and it shows