Ok, the strangest thing happened today. Someone farted in class, and it was the strangest smelling fart ever. It smelled like a cheeseburger. So we were all kind of chiking from the smell, and Mrs. Carlson saw John chiking on it, so she got this little spray can of bathroom cleaner, and sprayed it a bunch in the room. Well, the room started to smell like flowers and farty cheeseburgers. Soon the cheeseburger fart smell went away, and we were getting high off the air-spray smell, and it was making me feel really happy, and I was laughing my head off, partly because it was funny, but mostly because I and everyone else were getting high. As soon as I walked out of the hallway, the fartful offender farted again, and everyone going by started to gag. It was the most hilarious thing ever. You had to be there!!!!!!!

Actually, I can understand completely. Lord knows there have been many a time I have been stuck in a FastPass area where someone lets out a "silent but deadly" one. Imagine that on Indy or Splash - nowhere to go... hardly any circulation. Oh, it's not a good thing.

Originally posted by Haldwitten
Actually, I can understand completely. Lord knows there have been many a time I have been stuck in a FastPass area where someone lets out a "silent but deadly" one. Imagine that on Indy or Splash - nowhere to go... hardly any circulation. Oh, it's not a good thing.

Had a guest fart on IASM, gross, it also lingered.

Originally posted by Lacrosse Boy
Ok, the strangest thing happened today. Someone farted in class, and it was the strangest smelling fart ever. It smelled like a cheeseburger.

He who hath smelled it, hath dealt it.:)

The only good fart is an "old fart." I love grumpy old men!

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more gaggy than
a fart from an 80lb. big ol' German Shepard.

oooooooooooooh man. I won't even bother to respond.....besides what I just wrote.

(Warning: Gross true story ahead!)

Okay, so my friend and I went to see the movie "The Doors" back when it was in theatres. We couldn't get good seats because we were last in line. We had to sit in the front row of the theatre.

The camera for this movie was never still, it kept moving all the time. So it felt like a drug induced Star Tours ride in the front row. With the unusual smelling smoke in the theatre and the front row experience, I got deathly sick. My friend and I went outside. He suddenly farts. I throw up in the parking lot. We ran a couple of feet away from the puke.
"Man," I said. "I thought all I had to do back there was burp."
"Yeah," he replied, walking funny. "I thought all I did back there was fart."

;) True story.

Ok...I knew not to open this thread....

I was too tempted. Sorry I did.:(

Originally posted by DisneyLad
(Warning: Gross true story ahead!)

"Yeah," he replied, walking funny. "I thought all I did back there was fart."

;) True story.

Well, I heard of a kid saying this in one of those above the ground pools.

Can we say, drain?

Yay, a down and dirty toilet humor thread! Long live fart jokes!

DisneyLad's story made my night. :D :p :D

OMG I'm laughing so hard I can barely type... I was at the vets office today with my brothers Iguana...a HUGE pile of fur walked in and ripped a big smelly one... the receptionist grabbed the air freshener ... I told her to step out and let me know when it was time for Tanya to go back and we went out and sat on the bench in front of the office!

Originally posted by mammasilva
...a HUGE pile of fur walked in and ripped a big smelly one... the receptionist grabbed the air freshener ...

I guess it happens a lot there, eh?!

A check in the 'con' section of being a vet.

I'm thinking it must because she had that can at her fingertips ROFL

Okay. Now that I have figured out {with my Chickies help} how to do an Avatar, I can't be posting stuff about farts and stuff like that.

The two just don't go together.

Grouchy Smurf say's: "I hate farts."



Ok...let's have at it...
How do you spell the sound of a fart?

My contribution would be...."Pffforft.":p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :eek:

MouseWife-
Hmm! I highly approve of the new avatar!
;)

Oh, Disneylad... now THAT is a great story.

We had a kitten years ago who should never have been allowed to eat soft food. Oh, the kitten gas problem was terrible. One night, we were all sitting around watching a movie, and the kitten walked up to my friend Mike... turned her backside to him... and just let one rip. I've never seen the guy move faster in my life. Pzow... he was off that couch with his hand over mouth. Everyone was wondering what happened, and all he could manage to choke out was, "There is something unholy about that cat's colon."

It got even funnier when he was telling the story later and related how he actually witnessed the "cat's backdoor winking at him just before the realization hit what she was doing."

Oh, Mike...

Ah, fart stories... the ties that bind.

Originally posted by DisneyLad
MouseWife-
Hmm! I highly approve of the new avatar!
;)

Thank you. I think he is one hot man~ I dig his accent.
If I can figure out how to post more, I will.
I just have to make sure my hubby doesn't see these..............
I will never be able to watch Deuce Bigalow without
being teased again.

Haldwitten~

I had the most beautiful, long haired black cat. Astro, found behind the Astroids machine at an arcade. Most affectionate
cat I ever had.

Only problem was, when you pet him, he would fart in his state of pleasure to high heaven.

Holy crap! Mousewife is just cracking me up.......I, too, was looking at your post, next to the hotty and just about died. Does that young man know what wild Ramada bed-hopping woman he represents? Somehow, I think he'd be proud.......

I have a story way toooo embarrassing to tell, so I'll tell this one instead:

I was on my first home visit as a student teacher with my supervisor, learning to interact with kids and their families. This huge ugly freakin dog, with a shaved rear end (NEVER a good sign) just keeps following us and leaning on me as we're playing with the child on the floor. I'm not a fan of huge dogs and they always seem to know it. Finally, I retreat to the couch and Jumbo follows me and sits on my foot. I could not move my foot. The couch was low and I was in a weird position and couldn't move my leg, at all. The beast turns around and looks at me and I swear it smiled, then I smelled what is easily the most horrific smell I have EVER smelled in my life. My supervisor looked all funny at me, like I did it. I felt all strangled and was choking for air and still couldn't get my foot from under the smelly dog rear. It was so horrible. The mom came and shooed the dog outside, but too late. I was wretching. So I ran out on the screened in back porch (it was pouring outside) and the dog followed me and let another one rip. I seriously wanted to die. I was supposed to be observed for a grade on this home visit and I couldn't stop gagging. I rode back to school with my supervisor and the smell lingered on us. We talked about it a little, but we were both embarrassed and uncomfortable. When I got in my car and the smell still lingered, I realized it was the shoe the beast sat on. I took it off and threw it out the window on the way home and cried. Truly horrible.......

Ok anyone who watches "So Ghram Norton!" knows that he likes to surf the net for wierd stuff like man boobs and other wierd/naughty stuff.:D One was a video of a guy that was trying to light a fart and he is trying and trying then all of a sudden his white shorts get all brown (I am assuming:D). It was a EWWWWWWW! mixed with a ton of laughter.:D

Originally posted by stinkerbell
When I got in my car and the smell still lingered, I realized it was the shoe the beast sat on. I took it off and threw it out the window on the way home and cried. Truly horrible.......

Aw, Stinkerbell. That sounds like a nightmare!!!
What grade did you get?

Nigel2~
I have seen some of those videos on the net. Where the guy sets his fart on fire. Now, wouldn't that hurt?
I really thought that it was impossible but not so.

Originally posted by Haldwitten
Oh, Disneylad... now THAT is a great story.

We had a kitten years ago who should never have been allowed to eat soft food. Oh, the kitten gas problem was terrible. One night, we were all sitting around watching a movie, and the kitten walked up to my friend Mike... turned her backside to him... and just let one rip. I've never seen the guy move faster in my life. Pzow... he was off that couch with his hand over mouth. Everyone was wondering what happened, and all he could manage to choke out was, "There is something unholy about that cat's colon."

It got even funnier when he was telling the story later and related how he actually witnessed the "cat's backdoor winking at him just before the realization hit what she was doing."

Oh, Mike...

Ah, fart stories... the ties that bind. If I wasn't at work I'd have tears running down my face, as it is I can't stop laughing.

Originally posted by MouseWife


Aw, Stinkerbell. That sounds like a nightmare!!!
What grade did you get?


I had to do another home visit.......:( No flatulent canines though. :)

What WOULD Walt say?