Originally posted by DoodleDuck(A.E)
What WOULD Walt say?

I don't know what he would say but.......

Just as I was closing my eyes to take a nap, the last thing that entered my mind was a cat's behind blinking before it emitted a pungent odor.

I think I should never have come onto this thread, my mind has been permanently damaged. :confused:

Originally posted by DoodleDuck(A.E) What WOULD Walt say?

I'm sure Walt let a few fly in his day...

"To all who come to this happy place... Ppffftpbrakkk!!! Ooh, excuse me, kids! Heh heh... Gee, Pluto, lay of the Gravy Train... Ha ha ha... Sorry folks, let's try that again!"
:D

I graduated from high school with a guy we nicknamed "Blue Flame." So, yes, it's quite possible to light one up, literally........

Somehow, I think Walt is up there smiling down upon this particular thread......hmmmm

considering one of Walts favorite foods was chilibeans I'm MORE than sure he would love the humor of this thread LOL

Originally posted by mammasilva
considering one of Walts favorite foods was chilibeans I'm MORE than sure he would love the humor of this thread LOL

I heard he also liked grilled cheese sandwiches. He was also a chain smoker.
:)

Ugh, how did this thread go downhill so fast??????? I mean really, we started talking nasty smelly farts, and then we have to talk Walt? Please, people, keep with the topic........;) I want more fart stories, or I'll have to tell my own, and I've never told anyone!!!

Originally posted by DoodleDuck(A.E)
What WOULD Walt say?

Actually the god and devil show (on entertaindom.com) had walt on and (historically in accurate) they had his head preserved and then as a special guest his body is unearthed and comes back to be reunited. (his body communicates by flautlance):D

Oh I don't think this guy was able to light his fart since he got a whole lot more than gas out of that area.:D

My family seems to have the worst gas problems. To protect the reputations of others (mostly myself) I won't tell the REALLY bad ones.

Once, my best friend and I were on our way home after going out to dinner with a large group of family and friends. We were only 13 so we were in the car with some relatives. I had been feeling sick for a little while after dinner, but didn't think it was that big of a deal. Before I know it, I feel really gassy. You know, the kind that burns if you don't let it out. I thought maybe I could let it out without anyone knowing it was me. After the first one my uncle rolled down the window, so they didn't hear the rest. It just kept getting worse. I had to GO! We were driving from Pinnacle Peak in San Dimas to Pomona taking backroads 'cause of traffic. I thought I was going to die! We finally got there, and everyone is yelling, "Let Angie in the house first! She really has to go to the bathroom." My uncle opens my door and is "hurry, you can make it!" Well, all these people thought all I had to do was pee. I thought it might help to let out more gas as I stood so I could get to the bathroom faster. I stood up, and from the pressure of standing, IT WENT EVERYWHERE! All over the drive way. My uncle just says, "Oh no! Get away from the car!!!!!" They brought out some paper towels and I cleaned up enough to go in and take a shower. Now, let me just point out, there was easily about 15 people who saw me do this. I was so humiliated! I was wearing brand new jean shorts I bought that afternoon. (The stain never came out of the inside) and I had to through my shoes away as they were flooded. My best friends mom was out hosing down the driveway when I got out of the shower. Now, this wouldn't be all that bad. Except, my friend thought this was the funniest thing in her entire being as a person. (She still does) She told everyone! The next year I was looking through her yearbook and someone had drawn a picture of a caution sign saying "No Pooping on the Driveway" This was not just a joke to everyone I knew, but to everyone she knew! I wasn't mad about it. But I still get that "Oh, you're the one who..." :rolleyes: She loves that story.

But I swear that is not EVEN the worst of stories in this family....

I have a feeling between that post (which I tried to edit but it was too late) and my pimple thread I am never going to be thought the same of again. :( ;) :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Largent81
I have a feeling between that post (which I tried to edit but it was too late) and my pimple thread I am never going to be thought the same of again. :( ;) :rolleyes:

Oh Largent81,

If you'd only been wearing pants. :)

That is a sad {but funny, sorry} story. I don't know if all families have stories, but I would be a lot of them do.

And, the shorts don't help. Last year at my son's birthday party,
he was having so much fun, he took too long to go to the bathroom. Didn't want to leave the video games. So, my husband is standing next to him and sees this little marble type thing roll on the floor next to him. He asks him if he has to use the bathroom. Ah, well, okay, he says. Dropping canicas all the way to the bathroom. I always remind him of this when he is reluctant to go potty. You'd think at 15.......
Just kidding, it was the youngest one. :D

Another thing, as a Mom I never fart. Or at least that is what the kids thought. Thought. Every time there was a smell, my hubby would blame me {it was always him}. The kids would chime in 'No, Mommy doesn't EVER fart!!!'. They always stood up for me. Well, one day, I had been sick for weeks, and still had the coughing and sneezing big time. I am standing in the kitchen and sneezing big hearty sneezes and Poof! Lost that control and wouldn't you know my son is standing right next to me. We both start to crack up.

They still defend me. Just don't want to be around me when I sneeze.

"Let Angie in the house first." Well, you gotta give him points for trying to help you out.

"Mom never farts." Tee hee hee. Oh, the images I have now of June Cleaver fixing dinner, looking around to make sure Wally and the Beav aren't near... and then just cutting one loose. But Ward was walking in at just that moment and replies, "Darn June... you been eating cabbage?"

In keeping with the spirit of the thread... one of my favorite outtakes from Toy Story 2 is the one that goes, "I guess that's why they call me Stinky Pete." Priceless.

Originally posted by Haldwitten
"Let Angie in the house first." Well, you gotta give him points for trying to help you out.

"Mom never farts." Tee hee hee. Oh, the images I have now of June Cleaver fixing dinner, looking around to make sure Wally and the Beav aren't near... and then just cutting one loose. But Ward was walking in at just that moment and replies, "Darn June... you been eating cabbage?"

In keeping with the spirit of the thread... one of my favorite outtakes from Toy Story 2 is the one that goes, "I guess that's why they call me Stinky Pete." Priceless.

Umm, I love cabbage!!! Especially from Rubio's!!

Those outtakes from Toy Story 1 & 2 are great!

But, yep, Mom's don't fart. ;)

We're right up there with saints, ya know. :D

Oh, your guys stories are funny. Poor Largent...that must have been the most humiliating thing in your young life. To live through it and tell it is funny!

My husband never thought I farted. We had been together for maybe 3 years...and I had alays just told him I never fart. Period. Of course my kids are in the background say, "oh yeah she does!" And I say to him "Have you ever heard me fart?" And of course he had to say no.

I just always held it...but when he left, let it rip...the kids would yell, "Come back, come back, she just did it!" I'd tell him they were just fooling him.

After being together for a few more years...he's caught on though

Ok... here's another one. My Grandmother was an old farm woman, and one of the toughest ladies you'd ever meet. She got to where she wouldn't wear her hearing aid, and that's when the trouble started. We'd all be sitting around and Grandma would think she was "getting away with murder" by letting out a silent one. Problem was... they weren't silent. Most of them would make a sailor blush.

It was so hard to keep a straight face. She'd just keep going like nothing had happened. We knew we were in for a "safe" visit if the hearing aid was in... but if there was no hearing aid... it was a gas extravaganza.

No one lit a cigarette if that hearing aid was out...

Originally posted by Haldwitten
We knew we were in for a "safe" visit if the hearing aid was in... but if there was no hearing aid... it was a gas extravaganza.

No one lit a cigarette if that hearing aid was out...

Gotta love Grandma. :)


This reminds me of a commercial I saw before~mostly on the funny commercial shows.

A lady is picked up for a date {blind date?}. She looks all cute and frilly in a pretty little dress. He opens the door, lets her in. As he is walking around to the other side, she is lifting her legs{tushie?} and letting out these loud farts, a few of them.

When he gets in and looks at her she looks so innocent and sweet. Then he looks towards the back seat,

'Oh, I'd like you to meet so and so. Thought a double date would be nice.'

Well, I guess I have no shame on this bored anymore. :confused: :)

I love that commercial! Sadly, people have gone through that though. Could you imagine? I don't know what would be worse, getting out of the car and running back in the house or going on with the date.

My Mom has never once farted in front of my Dad. She's had colon attacks in front of him (told you there was a family history...) but never fart. Seems impossible, but it's true. Her first husband only heard her fart once. He was tickling her and she let one slip. She was already mad at him for tickling her, and now she was embarrased. She locked herself in the bedroom for a couple hours and when she came out she was still too ashamed to talk to him.

Now, my Grandmother once went to meet my Mom's first husband's parents before the wedding. My Grandma felt a little bloated and thought she could let out a silent fart. Now, keep in mind that my Grandparents were the Pastor's of the church that these people's son had met his soon to be wife. My Grandma is a very delicate, quaint woman. (So it seems from the outside ;) ) So, she goes to let it out, and it is one of those "long motorcycle"* farts. She was so humiliated. The guys mom looked to be so disgusted.


*I don't know if that is what other people call them. That is the phrase my brother used for some of mine. :eek: Don't think I need to explain that one.:rolleyes:

Originally posted by Largent81
Well, I guess I have no shame on this bored anymore. :confused: :)


My Mom has never once farted in front of my Dad.


*I don't know if that is what other people call them. That is the phrase my brother used for some of mine. :eek: Don't think I need to explain that one.:rolleyes:

It's been 20 years together, and my hubby has YET to hear {or smell, sorry!} one from me. Mind you , he does work a lot. ;)

Hmm. We just call it 'ripping one' or 'barking spiders'. If it is a doozy, it is 'Dang, must have left speed marks!!!'

Well, since we are already talking about the digestive tract, I think this would be the best thread for me to tell you about my morning. I should explain before hand that when my little boy poops, he wants his diaper changed immediatly. He usually lets you know somehow and gets excited when he sees a diaper. I'm hoping this is a good sign, he has been doing this for several months. But he has never done what he did this morning:

I barely slept last night. So, this morning I got up with the little man and laid on the couch while he played. I must have dosed off for just a minute, but he woke me up climbing on top of me to give me a kiss. Well, luckily he sat on the blanket. He sat on my stomach for about a minute "singing" to me when I notice his butt is bare! But it's not the normal little white butt he usually has. We are talking poop smeared everywhere! By this time he is bending over rubbing his butt against the back of the futon. So as I'm yelling "No Stop! Yucky!!!" I look over to see his diaper on the floor UPSIDE DOWN and poop in various little circles smeared here and there where he had been sitting. I quickly grab some baby wipes to clean him enough to carry him to the bathroom. I give him a bath and he's playing, being really cute and all. I decided I would let him play in his room while I clean up the mess, so I take him in and set him in his crib, with the towel wrapped around his waist to protect everything else. I realized I had forgotten something in the other room and when I came back in, he had a look. A look of "eww, that was wet and warm" I didn't take one step closer. I just look down and see a puddle about a foot from the crib. "Did you pee?" like he knows? So I pick up all the play mats, his giant 6 foot crocodile, rugs. After I got what I could with paper towels, I went to the crib to see what damage was done there. Keep in mind, this kid was shocked at how he peed everywhere. He had never peed standing before. He stands so still with this amazed look on his face. This made it VERY easy to assess the damages. Sadly, his little prayer friend lamb was lost in this fatal accident. She can't be washed as she has a voice box inside and she was soaked through. :crying: (It's his favorite thing too! He won't sleep without it, and he smiles if you squeeze it while he's sleeping. I am going to go buy him two more when he wakes up.) I finally get him diapered and off to sleep in his play pen. Poor guy.

Luckily our futon has a cover so I was able to take it off and throw it in the washer after spraying with febreze. Febreze also took the poop right out of the carpet. LOVE THAT STUFF!

Needless to say, my feet STINK!:o

Originally posted by Largent81
Needless to say, my feet STINK!:o [/B]

Aw, those early Mommy days. :)

I think you deserve a nice big cup of cocoa {that you aren't allergic to!!!} a great movie, and a nice snuggly blanket. Little guy has to be asleep during this time, so that you can relax, for a few.

Ah Largent...your story reminded me of when my first one was little. What a stinker...literally.

She would stick her hand inside her dirty diaper...and draw all over the walls, in her hair...the crib...ewww.

My mom laughed at that. Said I used to do the same thing, and I was getting a taste of my own medicine (ah, yeah, duh...like I KNEW what I was doing at that age!).

Anyways, rest assured. Most of us moms have been there!

Well, we still have not figured out who the farter is, even though they continue to let us know about what they ate at lunch time. We have decided to call (s)he the PHANTOM, or BOOTY RIPPER. Isn't that good? It is very disgusting. Luckily the farts were not as bad as the first day!!!!!!!

Largent- I would like to hear some more stories. They are the funniest! :)

With all these stories, we should name this thread "Chicken Farts for the Soul".

Okay, here's one:

My older sister was learning how to speak Japanese in high school. The Japanese word for "what" is "nani". So, the classroom is quiet. They're taking some sort of written test. When someone lets out a loud fart. It sounded like "NAH-NEE". The teacher suddenly stands up and says, "If you have a question, raise your hand first." Everyone in her class started to laugh.

:D

Originally posted by DisneyLad
With all these stories, we should name this thread "Chicken Farts for the Soul".

Okay, here's one:

My older sister was learning how to speak Japanese in high school. The Japanese word for "what" is "nani". So, the classroom is quiet. They're taking some sort of written test. When someone lets out a loud fart. It sounded like "NAH-NEE". The teacher suddenly stands up and says, "If you have a question, raise your hand first." Everyone in her class started to laugh.

:D

Yes, yes, yes. We should rename this thread...and then publish it! Great suggestion Disneylad....

And, your story is a hoot too!:D

sorry to say...but my family makes the worst farts ever! If you took a fart test to see who had the smelliest farts ever, it would be my family!

Originally posted by PrincessGurl
sorry to say...but my family makes the worst farts ever! If you took a fart test to see who had the smelliest farts ever, it would be my family!

Anyone in PrincessGurl's family like to comment on her comment? Mom? Dad?
They're both MousePadders... :D