Originally posted by adriennek
Have you ever used the breastfeeding facilities in Baby Care Center, Fairytalelover?

While I found them comfortable enough, I felt very isolated. Outside, I don't have to leave my family and friends to feed my baby.

Also, if I'm on the other side of the park and the baby is hungry, he's hungry NOW. Not 15 -20 minutes from now when I can get us to the Baby Care Center. All I need to nurse is a place to sit and the ground will work! Heck, I've nursed in line for the El Capitan Theater on Hollywood Blvd. I guess I just squatted there, that time.

I don't use a blanket at home, so I stopped using one at Disneyland. I find that pulling up my shirt kept my top covered enough that I didn't need a blanket to cover my top and my baby covered my sides sufficiently. Sometimes I pulled my blankets around my babies if I wanted to cover my side- that didn't suffocate the baby or make me uncomfortable.

When my babies were newborns, when I was "training" them to nurse, sometimes I needed more privacy to get them latched on. But by they're a month or so old, we're both experts at it!

In the beginning of my breastfeeding experience, with Matthew, I used a blanket to cover myself and the baby out of courtesy for my friends, none of whom have (or had) children. At some point, they told me that it seemed silly for me to go to that much trouble and I agreed.

When you nurse(d), fairytalelover, did you use nursing tops or have to pull down your shirts from above? I never wore nursing clothes but I just pulled my shirts up from the bottom.

My question is why would anyone not want to breastfeed in public? The only answers I can think of are: They don't feel comfortable nursing in front of others _or_ their babies require a quiet area to nurse.

In my case, neither of these issues applied. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family and being "sent away" to feed my babies seems silly to me. I'm not short term nurser. My sons both nursed for 13 months. We had plenty of "alone" time when we were at home and Daddy was at work. Disneyland is a place I enjoy with my friends and family.

And I would dare say that my friends and family enjoy being part of the experience of raising my children. Several of my friends are childless but tell me that they enjoy being around my kids and then watching them go home with me, LOL! Something about babies brings joy to people and part of that, in my experience, is sharing the joy of nurturing a baby.

Heck, I've had friends volunteer to change my babies' diapers! And yes, they did it "in public" in the stroller because it was the most convenient location at the time. As long as diapers are properly disposed of, it's while people are eating, and people are clean about it, I don't have a problem where people change their children's diapers.

Adrienne

Ok first of all. I understand that if the baby is hungry you need to feed him right away. So in those situations you have to do what you have to do.

However, changing diapers in public is completely disgusting, rude and disrespectful. Come on! There is a time and a place for everything.....use the bathroom. Please!!

Not all dirty diapers have poo in them. Urine isn't really all that gross and it's totally contained within the diaper. What's the big deal?

I can't wait until you start having kids and you have to stick to all the ridiculous requirements you're putting on parents. :~D I expect a full report of how easy it is to keep that up.

I have breast fed three babies...

While at DLR...while in the airports...while at parks...malls...

I did take advantage of the Baby Care Center in DLR though. I just found it more comfortable for me.

But...to consider it gross...and unnatural...seems...unnatural in itself.

I wonder...just wonder how a person is "brought up" to consider this basic human need to be "gross"?

I have 2 SIL's and a MIL who never nursed their children. They kind of find me "unusual" in their crowd...as I am the lone breast feeder.

But...my 3 girls...including one with Down Syndrome...are very healthy...have no allergies...and are well developed.

Where as...their 3 kids...are sickly, have many, many allergies...and are all small for their ages.

I am not saying that my girls are "perfect"...just that I think that their early days of breastfeeding have helped them in their further development.

And...if anyone who does not have children thinks this is "gross"...you just might change your mind when you have your own little ones. The "bonding" experience you have with your child is so precious...and special. You will never have such a special time with your baby...as they grow so fast...and become independent quickly.

Originally posted by fairytalelover
Just a quick question.....If there is a baby center at DL where Moms can go to breast feed their babies, why would anyone want to breast feed in public instead?

just to reiterate what was said earlier, it can be very difficult for a woman who is on vacation with her family to be seperated from them and have to go all the way across the park. both the woman and her family will not have as good a time because of it. i used the babycare center at DL because my baby and i were not used to nursing in public and he was going through a very distractable phase. i enjoyed it for the quiet time it gave us. now that my baby is a little older i wouldn't hesitate to feed him wherever i needed to. using the babycare center was nice because i worried about him getting overstimulated at such a young age. however, i did spend a lot of time worrying about when he would be hungry next so that i could get to the babycare center in time. i would have had a much better time if i had just relaxed and realized that when he was hungry he would latch on just fine when he needed to.

as for the diaper thing. i am not going to go up to someone's table at the hungry bear and change a poopy diaper right in front of them. but if we are far away from a bathroom or short on time, i might pull the stroller off to a spot where there isn't much traffic and stand in front of it and quickly change a diaper. with the hood down and me in front of it you would have to try to look in the stroller to see anything. it really is OK.

it is nice to have these kind of ideals when you don't have kids of your own (lord knows i did!), but when you become a parent you realize that your motto needs to become, "Do what works for you, and ignore people who think they know better."

your attitude about breastfeeding concerns me fairytalelover. the attitude that it is something to hide and be ashamed of is exactly what causes some women to formula feed. do every woman a favor and next time you happen to notice a woman discretely feeding her baby smile at her. she'll appreciate your support and someday when/of you decide to have kids, you'll be glad you did.

~<:) tracilicious

Originally posted by Bill Catherall
Not all dirty diapers have poo in them. Urine isn't really all that gross and it's totally contained within the diaper. What's the big deal?

I can't wait until you start having kids and you have to stick to all the ridiculous requirements you're putting on parents. :~D I expect a full report of how easy it is to keep that up.

Ridiculous requirements. I can understand that you have to breast feed the baby as soon as it is hungry and cant walk all the way to the baby center to do it because it is too far. But there are bathrooms everywhere with dipaer changing areas. This is going too far! They sell food all over DL. People walk around drinking their sodas, eating cotton candy, corn dogs, snacks, etc...whatever......they don't need to see you changing your kids dirty diaper. That is disrespectful to the others around you. It's not like you dont have time to make it to the bathroom, the baby has already pooped or peed in his diaper, so you have all the time in the world. Why is your reason for not going to the bathroom to do it? Why do we have to walk by and witness this or even worse.....smell it while we are munching on some snack?

When my younger brother was a baby my mom and dad were always very aware of being respectful of others. They believed that just because they have kids and have to deal with the difficulties of parenting does not mean other people should suffer. That is where I learned to believe what I believe and to be respectful of others. My parents never changed diapers in public. Also, when I was a baby they did not go to the movies for a few years, so as not to bother the audience if I should cry. They went to drive-ins only. So it is possible to have kids and still respect others.

Originally posted by mad4mky
I have breast fed three babies...

While at DLR...while in the airports...while at parks...malls...

I did take advantage of the Baby Care Center in DLR though. I just found it more comfortable for me.

But...to consider it gross...and unnatural...seems...unnatural in itself.

I wonder...just wonder how a person is "brought up" to consider this basic human need to be "gross"?

I have 2 SIL's and a MIL who never nursed their children. They kind of find me "unusual" in their crowd...as I am the lone breast feeder.

But...my 3 girls...including one with Down Syndrome...are very healthy...have no allergies...and are well developed.

Where as...their 3 kids...are sickly, have many, many allergies...and are all small for their ages.

I am not saying that my girls are "perfect"...just that I think that their early days of breastfeeding have helped them in their further development.

And...if anyone who does not have children thinks this is "gross"...you just might change your mind when you have your own little ones. The "bonding" experience you have with your child is so precious...and special. You will never have such a special time with your baby...as they grow so fast...and become independent quickly.

I know many people who were never breast fed and are totally healthy and are also very close to their mothers. I am one of them. My mother did not breast feed me and we could not be any closer than we are.

Originally posted by fairytalelover
Also, when I was a baby they did not go to the movies for a few years, so as not to bother the audience if I should cry. They went to drive-ins only. So it is possible to have kids and still respect others.

I admit, I was the one who made the mistake of giving you the opening to go off on the diaper thing again.

But who said anything about crying babies in movie theaters???

I'm going to recommend that the people in this thread who are parents or who have experience with children try to do what I'm going to try to do- stop responding. The horse is dead.

Where's zapppop with my medal? I'm really holding back here. I didn't even say anything about how I've avoided ever having a crying baby in a movie theater ;)

Adrienne

Originally posted by tracilicious
do every woman a favor and next time you happen to notice a woman discretely feeding her baby smile at her. she'll appreciate your support and someday when/of you decide to have kids, you'll be glad you did.

OK, here's a question for the breastfeeding mothers out there: do you want/mind acknowledgement or do you just want us to pretend we don't see you? Sometimes, I'll notice a mother breastfeeding her baby, and it's really just a sweet sight. No, you can't see breast, and I'm not looking for one. I don't stare at them, but I do notice and might look for a second to confirm that's what I'm seeing. Babies also look so peaceful and serene when they're breastfeeding, so they're nice to see that way as well. I usually try to look away before the mother notices, but sometimes, she notices, and I usually just smile and then go about my business, but I'm wondering if y'all would just prefer that we didn't look at you at all. Yes, I know, personal preference, so I'm just curious as to opinions.

Originally posted by cstephens
OK, here's a question for the breastfeeding mothers out there: do you want/mind acknowledgement or do you just want us to pretend we don't see you? Sometimes, I'll notice a mother breastfeeding her baby, and it's really just a sweet sight. No, you can't see breast, and I'm not looking for one. I don't stare at them, but I do notice and might look for a second to confirm that's what I'm seeing. Babies also look so peaceful and serene when they're breastfeeding, so they're nice to see that way as well. I usually try to look away before the mother notices, but sometimes, she notices, and I usually just smile and then go about my business, but I'm wondering if y'all would just prefer that we didn't look at you at all. Yes, I know, personal preference, so I'm just curious as to opinions.

Well my personal preference sounds like what you describe. I get uncomfortable when people get a little "too close" - sort of hovering over me as if they're trying to see the baby's face while he's eating. HI! Too close! ;)

But I don't mind if people look and smile. I don't mind if people stop and talk- "How old is your baby? Do you have a boy or a girl?" small chit-chat kind of stuff. I tend to see moms nursing and make a comment about "How Precious." "What a lucky baby!" or "I miss my babies being that small! I need another one!" Sometimes I just smile, too.

If I wasn't comfortable nursing where I could be seen, I wouldn't do it.

Adrienne

Originally posted by adriennek
I admit, I was the one who made the mistake of giving you the opening to go off on the diaper thing again.

But who said anything about crying babies in movie theaters???

I'm going to recommend that the people in this thread who are parents or who have experience with children try to do what I'm going to try to do- stop responding. The horse is dead.

Where's zapppop with my medal? I'm really holding back here. I didn't even say anything about how I've avoided ever having a crying baby in a movie theater ;)

Adrienne

Sorry, but Adrienne was the one who started the whole diaper thing, then you responded to that and added for me this statement:

"I can't wait until you start having kids and you have to stick to all the ridiculous requirements you're putting on parents. I expect a full report of how easy it is to keep that up."


Thus, you opened up the whole can of worms about the difficulty of parenting in general and trying to stick to all of my "ridiculous requirements."
I merely pointed out to you that my requirements were not ridiculous to my parents who did stick to them as they raised their kids. And all of these "ridiculous requirements" were implemented my parents in order to respect other people and not to bother others too much.:)

I'm the one who made the "ridiculous requirements" comment, because it is ridiculous. I can change a wet diaper in about 20 seconds. A poopy one in about 45 seconds. I don't change poopy diapers around people who are eating because they can smell pretty bad, so I usually do my best to not gross people out. But with a wet diaper that doesn't smell I'll do it where ever I please. And quite frankly I don't care if it offends anybody. I'm pretty sure the majority of people aren't bothered by it and I can't concern myself with the few easily offended folks who go through life just looking for something to be offended by.

I feel the same way about breast feeding too.

In another thread you said there's nothing wrong with holding hands or kissing in public. What if I told you that it grosses me out to see people make skin to skin contact of any kind? Would you go through life avoiding touching people in public so as to avoid offending me or people like me? Hopefully you wouldn't. That would be a ridiculous requirement.

Originally posted by Bill Catherall
I'm the one who made the "ridiculous requirements" comment, because it is ridiculous. I can change a wet diaper in about 20 seconds. A poopy one in about 45 seconds. I don't change poopy diapers around people who are eating because they can smell pretty bad, so I usually do my best to not gross people out. But with a wet diaper that doesn't smell I'll do it where ever I please. And quite frankly I don't care if it offends anybody. I'm pretty sure the majority of people aren't bothered by it and I can't concern myself with the few easily offended folks who go through life just looking for something to be offended by.

I feel the same way about breast feeding too.

In another thread you said there's nothing wrong with holding hands or kissing in public. What if I told you that it grosses me out to see people make skin to skin contact of any kind? Would you go through life avoiding touching people in public so as to avoid offending me or people like me? Hopefully you wouldn't. That would be a ridiculous requirement.

The comments are ridiculous to you not to me. And you actually said above in regards to changing dirty diapers in public that you "quite frankly don't care if it offends anybody."
That is such a selfish statement. Well, I do care. I care about other people who don't have to suffer just because you are too lazy to walk a few steps over to a bathroom and change the baby in there, where issues of poop and pee are meant to be dealt with.

Also, your comment about being grossed out to see people make skin contact..............now that is ridiculous and has nothing to do with dirty diapers. The diapers are DIRTY!! People holding hands and kissing is a ridiculous comparison. Not many people want to be around a dirty diaper.

I know AdrienneK is waiting for me to jump in here....I will have my first in November. I have always been more of a shy type person and I think I will have to wait on the verdict as to what I will actually do when the time comes. First feelings on it though are that I will likely try to find a more private place to feed & change my child but time will tell what really happens when I am at that point. Worst case, at least use a blanket to cover the child as best as I can.

You heard it here first folks. I'm lazy and selfish. There you go and I don't care.

Originally posted by Bill Catherall
You heard it here first folks. I'm lazy and selfish. There you go and I don't care.

OK. Now I'm really laughing. :D

Originally posted by Bill Catherall
You heard it here first folks. I'm lazy and selfish. There you go and I don't care.

I always suspected it, and now I know it. That you actually change diapers at all is a miracle. Your poor, poor wife. You disgust me.*






*:rolleyes:

The key here is please look away or, if need be, walk away from something that makes you uncomfortable. Don't just suffer it and trash the person later. It doesn't do anyone any good. Some people are more sensitive than others. Don't let it spoil your visit.

Originally posted by dsnyredhead
I know AdrienneK is waiting for me to jump in here....I will have my first in November. I have always been more of a shy type person and I think I will have to wait on the verdict as to what I will actually do when the time comes. First feelings on it though are that I will likely try to find a more private place to feed & change my child but time will tell what really happens when I am at that point. Worst case, at least use a blanket to cover the child as best as I can.

Actually, I wasn't, LOL. But I'm glad you did!! Because, darling, I don't care where you feed your precious one as long as you let me hold him/her occasionally ;) I want you to be able to feed your baby however or wherever you want to so that you are comfortable.

I have a really close relative who parents totally differently than I do. My children were breastfed on demand, set their own schedules by the time they were a few weeks old, didn't sleep through the night for awhile, and I could nurse them anywhere anytime. My relative's baby was formula fed on a strict schedule, slept through the night early on, and nursing wasn't a physical option for her and if it had been, I'm confident she would've been much more private about it than I ever was.

We love each other and respect each others' parenting, support each other and help each other get through it the best way we can. If I ever babysat her baby I'd follow her schedule and system to the T and if she ever babysat mine, she'd do the same for me! And all of our children are happy and healthy and mine love her and hers loves me.

It's about doing what we have to do and supporting each other in it.

And Bill, I've always thought you were lazy and selfish. I loved your post. Rock on, Brother. Tell Tammy to give you a big ol' Kiss because you deserve it. And you give Tammy one because she's a great mom. Frankly, how hard is it to think that people who demand that parents succomb to their wishes for their personal comfort is selfish. If I'm given the choice of making a stranger comfortable or not aggravating or causing a tushie rash, I know which individual ranks higher on my priority list. It's all relative. And I know which side of the field I'm proud to sit on! Scoot over Bill, Lisap, and all you parents and friends of parents out there! :D

Adrienne

I have followed this thread closely, listening to all sides of the issue, generally staying out of it since I don't have kids yet, however I have one major question for fairytalelover.

You've mentioned a few (http://mousepad.mouseplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=270111#post270111) times (http://mousepad.mouseplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=269675#post269675) that you have 2 kids. How did you feed them while out in public, and did you go to the restroom every time they had to have their diapers changed? I am really curious since you are so adamantly against breastfeeding and changing diapers in public. Please share your methods, so I can learn about another parenting method :)

Thanks!

Sorry to sound naive (non-daddy here) but don't maternity bras make it almost impossible to see any breast, anyway ? - I would imagine that it would be hard to be exhibitionistic (or voyeuristic) given how little breast is actually seen at meal-time ?

I bowed out earlier......and I just wanna AGAIN say how I admire adriennek's restraint this week. I am cracking up.

I breastfed everywhere, literally, and as I became more comfortable with feeding in a variety of locations, the more natural and wonderful it was for me and for my child.

I was very shy about it at first--my in-laws were not comfortable around it, so I often found myself in the "back room" at their house, until we were done. By the time I had my second child, I decided that was ridiculous, so I would have my husband and older daughter come with me, "for company." :D The inlaws got the message. Also, in my home, I did not leave the room, so why should I have to leave in their home? They left.

By the third, I was WAY more comfortable, they accepted it, and we all lived happily ever after.

Many women are too shy, and that's okay. I wish they wouldn't opt for the bathroom floor, but I certainly understand why they do. Perhaps they are in a large, extended family who isn't "cool" with public breastfeeding. Perhaps they are timid. Perhaps their child needs privacy.

Perhaps they got glared at the last time they sat on a bench nursing their child.

Unfortunately, it was likely the latter.

And cstephens, I would have appreciated a quick smile, a wink, or question about the child. And though I'm a breastfeeding veteran, I still do the "double take" and I don't know why. I follow it up with a smile though, definitely. ;)

And I always thought it was a bit cute when little kids would approach and try to look at the baby. I'd really cover up then! But most parents who catch their kids, being all cute and curious, were so great--perhaps exchange a war story or two, or say, "That's how mommy used to feed you," or something equally cool.

Originally posted by Bill Catherall
You heard it here first folks. I'm lazy and selfish. There you go and I don't care.

that's ok. so am i. in fact, that's why i breastfeed.

oh, and i forgot to mention that on the rare occasion that i do change a diaper in the stroller, i make sure to wave it around and yell. "Who wants to see a pee diaper? Anyone eating a snack? If i put it right in front of your nose then you might be able to smell it!" then i lay it on the sidewalk so that everyone can see. heck, if i didn't do that then no one would even know i had done it. i wouldn't want an opportunity to offend people to go wasted.
:D

Originally posted by tracilicious
that's ok. so am i. in fact, that's why i breastfeed.

oh, and i forgot to mention that on the rare occasion that i do change a diaper in the stroller, i make sure to wave it around and yell. "Who wants to see a pee diaper? Anyone eating a snack? If i put it right in front of your nose then you might be able to smell it!" then i lay it on the sidewalk so that everyone can see. heck, if i didn't do that then no one would even know i had done it. i wouldn't want an opportunity to offend people to go wasted.
:D :fez: You are the reason I spit out my Chai Tea latte this morning, woman! :fez:

I'm just SO offended! :eek:




Oh, I am WAY guilty of public diaper changes as well. I try not to do it, but it's addicting. I just can't help myself. Oh, I also change my children's diapers in public as well. :D

Originally posted by stinkerbell
:fez: You are the reason I spit out my Chai Tea latte this morning, woman! :fez:

I'm just SO offended! :eek:



mission accomplished! 2 people offended, 5 billion to go.

offtopic- isn't chai just the best! i make it with vanilla soy milk and it is just too good. yumm! :p

Originally posted by stinkerbell
I bowed out earlier......and I just wanna AGAIN say how I admire adriennek's restraint this week. I am cracking up.

Thank you! I did you see my medal from zapppop? I think I might frame it...

Adrienne

Originally posted by Bill Catherall
You heard it here first folks. I'm lazy and selfish. There you go and I don't care.

I never said you don't care in general. I am just repeating what you said . And you said that you don't care if you offend others. You said it. And the lazy part just came from my confusion about why it would be so difficult to walk over to the bathrooms, which are all conveniently over the park.
You have a right to feel how you do about these issues and I respect your right. However, I strongly disagree with your choices and that is my right. I am not saying that it makes you a bad person, you are probably a real nice guy. :)
We should just agree to disagree.