I was sitting at Hungry Bear, watching the Mark Twain go by, enjoying a nice lunch. A dad comes and sits with his son at a nearby table. Mom was in line getting food. So far so good.

The son, maybe 4, starts running around the area, yelling very loudly, disturbing others, bumping into people. He climbed up on an empty chair at my table, grabbed a fry from my meal, called me a stupid-head, then ran off screaming. Basically, he was enjoying the heck out of himself, but driving everyone else crazy. Eventually, the dad got enough dirty look from everyone that he decided to end this unacceptable behavior.

So, did the dad approach the kid like a dad? Nope. "hey Johny, don't you want to come sit down?" "Hey, I'll give you a treat if you stop yelling?" "Please come sit down.".....[five minutes later]
"You really need to come sit down and be good." "You don't want me to get mad do you." [another 5 minutes later] "If you don't come sit down, we're going home." Kid strats screaming bloody murder about going home...

1) Stop your kid as soon as they start bothering others. Don't let them get away with bad behavior for 15 minutes, then try to put an end to it. Consistancy is KEY.

2) Be the parent. You can't ask if they want to stop something that you are going to make them stop. Demand it.

3) Don't make a threat unless you are FULLY prepared to carry through with it.

So.... not long after the dad threatens going home, and the kid starts crying, mom shows up with the food. Mom picks up the brat and comforts him. Oh, what is wrong poor little Johny? Daddy said we're going home now. Oh, daddy just says stuff like that, he doesn't mean it. He can't control his temper sometimes. [Mom throws the evil eye at the dad, who sheepishly looks down in shame.]

4) Find out if the kid derserves the punishment before you coddle them.

5) NEVER undermine the other parent's authority.

The kid was a perfect angel for the rest of the meal, and mom was quite mad at the dad for causing a fuss and ruining little Johny's day.

I wanted to toss the mom over the rail into the water, then find where she kept the dad's spline so I could give it back to him.

dshimel, you are my new best friend. :D Don't you just want to walk up to these horrible parents and give them lessons? And I'm not even a parent yet! :)

Seriously, I don't think I could have watched the entire scene without bailing from the restaurant.

I have 3 daughters.... 12, 16, an 19. Older two are step, or ex-step legally, but they still call me dad and I still call them my daughters.

Anyway, I made a lot of mistakes over the years. If I could do it all over, I'd probably make a whole different set of mistakes. However, some things are so clearly "bad parenting" that anyone should know.

To undermine the other parent's authority? Unforgivable. No wonder the kid was misbehaving.... he knew the dad had no authority. No wonder the dad wasn't a parent. When he tried to be, the mom would pull the rug out from under him.

The worst thing that can happen is for one parent to be the "good guy" and the other to be the "bad guy". I mean, we all want our kids to love us, but it HAS to be a unified front, a true parenting team.

Originally posted by Cadaverous Pallor
dshimel, you are my new best friend. :D Don't you just want to walk up to these horrible parents and give them lessons? And I'm not even a parent yet! :)

Seriously, I don't think I could have watched the entire scene without bailing from the restaurant.

What she said. Add to that I after the kid stood on a chair attached to my table and then took a fry from me I woulda said something directly to the parents about controlling their child.

If you do a brief search you'll find a few threads where I have been quite outspoken when dealing with crying/running wild kids.

I'd just like to say....

As a parent, you can't just be "Your child's friend".... :D

I was about to say... nobody's kid STEALS from me and gets off without a comment!

Shoulda swore at the dad then shoved the kid

Edited due to better judgement.

Originally posted by johnnyrad
Shoulda swore at the dad then shoved the kid


Doing that would make you as immature as the child :rolleyes:

This kind of thing really sticks out at Disneyland.

It still baffles me how people do give their children the gift of decent public manners.

My children often point these families out to me. They know such behaivor would never be tolerated in our family.

You know, I couldn't believe how judgemental a lot of you have been in regard to this matter. You know nothing about that family's situation and are in no position to judge them. It may be the case that the young boy has ADH or Aspergers or some other behavioural issues. It was also maybe the final straw for the dad in a very difficult day. It could also be that the parents were having problems of their own????? Who knows??? - Not us!!

Themeparks are very enjoyable places to take our children, but at times situations can become very trying. Having some sympathy and understanding with a troubled family would surely be better than judging them

This is my first post on this site and I am sorry it had to begin like this. In fact I registed for this message board after reading this particulary post as I felt so strongly about it.

Fiona

Well I got to witness some rather awful parenting at DL last week and I don't care what their situation was, it was downright AWFUL! This mother slammed (yes slammed) her child into the wall and was screaming at them about not wanting to wait in another long line!!! Now I understand the post above about children w/special needs, I'm the mother to a stepson w/ADHD and ODD, my oldest son is autistic and my youngest is to young to diagnos but may be autistic as well. I would never treat my children that way. Just b/c a child has a behavior problem does not give the parent the right to treat them like they are less than human. If a parent is having a "bad day" then take the kids back to the hotel for a dip in the pool and cool off! Don't take it out on the kids.

Crystal

Originally posted by fionagee
You know, I couldn't believe how judgemental a lot of you have been in regard to this matter. You know nothing about that family's situation and are in no position to judge them. It may be the case that the young boy has ADH or Aspergers or some other behavioural issues. It was also maybe the final straw for the dad in a very difficult day. It could also be that the parents were having problems of their own????? Who knows??? - Not us!!

Themeparks are very enjoyable places to take our children, but at times situations can become very trying. Having some sympathy and understanding with a troubled family would surely be better than judging them

This is my first post on this site and I am sorry it had to begin like this. In fact I registed for this message board after reading this particulary post as I felt so strongly about it.

Fiona

So, then every single pain in the butt kid at DL has some kind of disorder???? I don't think so. If you can't handle your kids then you should take parenting classes and until then keep them away from the public. Everybody else at DL has a right to be there and have a good time too without having to experience screaming, out of control kids and parents who can't control them.

And if the parents are having problems of their own as you have suggested then maybe they should stay at home until they get their act together.

The rest of us who know how to control our kids shouldn't have to suffer because some parents do not know how to control their kids.

Originally posted by dshimel
I was sitting at Hungry Bear, watching the Mark Twain go by, enjoying a nice lunch. A dad comes and sits with his son at a nearby table. Mom was in line getting food. So far so good.

The son, maybe 4, starts running around the area, yelling very loudly, disturbing others, bumping into people. He climbed up on an empty chair at my table, grabbed a fry from my meal, called me a stupid-head, then ran off screaming. Basically, he was enjoying the heck out of himself, but driving everyone else crazy. Eventually, the dad got enough dirty look from everyone that he decided to end this unacceptable behavior.

So, did the dad approach the kid like a dad? Nope. "hey Johny, don't you want to come sit down?" "Hey, I'll give you a treat if you stop yelling?" "Please come sit down.".....[five minutes later]
"You really need to come sit down and be good." "You don't want me to get mad do you." [another 5 minutes later] "If you don't come sit down, we're going home." Kid strats screaming bloody murder about going home...

1) Stop your kid as soon as they start bothering others. Don't let them get away with bad behavior for 15 minutes, then try to put an end to it. Consistancy is KEY.

2) Be the parent. You can't ask if they want to stop something that you are going to make them stop. Demand it.

3) Don't make a threat unless you are FULLY prepared to carry through with it.

So.... not long after the dad threatens going home, and the kid starts crying, mom shows up with the food. Mom picks up the brat and comforts him. Oh, what is wrong poor little Johny? Daddy said we're going home now. Oh, daddy just says stuff like that, he doesn't mean it. He can't control his temper sometimes. [Mom throws the evil eye at the dad, who sheepishly looks down in shame.]

4) Find out if the kid derserves the punishment before you coddle them.

5) NEVER undermine the other parent's authority.

The kid was a perfect angel for the rest of the meal, and mom was quite mad at the dad for causing a fuss and ruining little Johny's day.

I wanted to toss the mom over the rail into the water, then find where she kept the dad's spline so I could give it back to him.

You are my new best friend too!!!:D I have witnessed situations such as this one so many times at DL! The parents just sit there and watch these bratty kids do whatever the hell they want to do and then most of the time instead of taking control of the matter and being stern with the kids they buy them an ice cream or something. It is outrageous!! I even saw this family where their kid asked if he could have an ice cream and the mom said no and the kid just went into this psychotic scream. He was just having an incredibly out of control and LOUD fit!! So the mother finally turned to the kid and said .."OK, OK I'll get you an ice cream." And the kid abruptly stopped his scream and acted like nothing had happened. Incredible. Basically the kid has the mother wrapped around his little finger and now he knows it.

Originally posted by fairytalelover
So, then every single pain in the butt kid at DL has some kind of disorder???? I don't think so. If you can't handle your kids then you should take parenting classes and until then keep them away from the public. Everybody else at DL has a right to be there and have a good time too without having to experience screaming, out of control kids and parents who can't control them.

And if the parents are having problems of their own as you have suggested then maybe they should stay at home until they get their act together.

The rest of us who know how to control our kids shouldn't have to suffer because some parents do not know how to control their kids.

I take offense to this statement. My son (3 year old, autistic) sometimes screams out of the blue. Not for ANY reason at all. He just does it. As well as flaps his hands, jumps up and down, etc. So he should just stay home in your opinion forever????? I think not! You have no idea what is going on with some kids you see at the park. You don't know if it's just bad parenting or if the kids have a serious issue beyond the control of the parents.

By the way, when my son does start his screaming, I tell him to stop and he does. I don't just let him do it over and over (he'd do it for hours if you let him!).

Crystal

Originally posted by Mommy2NicknMax
I think not! You have no idea what is going on with some kids you see at the park. You don't know if it's just bad parenting or if the kids have a serious issue beyond the control of the parents.



Or if those are even the parents. It could be an aunt, uncle, grandparent or even a child in a foster home situation. Like Mommy2NicknMax says, you never know what family situation the child is in or what they are going through.

The point is--do the best you can with your own children and don't worry about the rest. I try not to be too hard on other parents because the next thing I know my child will be having the problem. No one is perfect. :)

And remember when all hope is lost, break out the bubbles! I make sure to have a little thing of bubbles in the diaper bag to entertain my kids while we pause for a drink or snack. Of course you want to be polite to those around you and not blow them at inappropriate times. LOL :D

Mommy2NicknMax- thank you for replying to the post from "fairytalelover". I too take exception to this post, but was a bit aprehensive to get involved in a "trans-atlantic argument", as it was my post that she was quoting. I think fairytalelover misunderstood the point I was trying to get across.
I was not saying that every badly behaved child must have, as she said "some kind of disorder". None of my children have a "disorder", but I try to appreciate the position some other families might be in, and I agree with the post from "lisap" that you must concentrate on your own children and worry less about the parenting of others. Of course there are situations when there are displays of bad parenting and times when other peoples children are annoying you, but I think in this day and age you should try to be more tolerant.

Everyone is entitled to take their children out on day trips even if they have a behavioural problem, and most parents will be trying their hardest to parent the child in an apropriate way and trying not to upset others. But there will always be some situations where unfortunately this is not the case.

FIONA

Originally posted by Mommy2NicknMax
I take offense to this statement. My son (3 year old, autistic) sometimes screams out of the blue. Not for ANY reason at all. He just does it. As well as flaps his hands, jumps up and down, etc. So he should just stay home in your opinion forever????? I think not! You have no idea what is going on with some kids you see at the park. You don't know if it's just bad parenting or if the kids have a serious issue beyond the control of the parents.

By the way, when my son does start his screaming, I tell him to stop and he does. I don't just let him do it over and over (he'd do it for hours if you let him!).

Crystal

First of all, I would like to say that my statement was not meant to offend you. I am sorry if it did. Also this thread was originally started by a story about kids that are out of control, ruining other people's day and annoying everybody and the parents are not doing anything about it to control their kids.

Now, I highly doubt that the majority of these kids have disorders. Some may, but the amount of kids I see out of control and, most importantly with parents who just sit there without trying to make sure that they are not bothering others, is quite a lot and I think it is safe to say that the majority of these cases are just out of control kids with parents who dont know how to control their kids.

Also, if a child does have a disorder I would think that the parents in conjunction with the doctor's should diagnose if the child will be able to handle being out in the public and if so then the parents should be very careful to know how to control the child. And as you stated, that maybe some of these kids have issues that are beyond their parents control. Well, if the issue is so bad that even the parents cannot control their kids in any way so they do not bother other people , then maybe it is not a good idea for them to be in such places.

However, you do not seem like such a person, according to you, you know what to do. Thus, of course I do not think you should keep your child locked up at home. And you yourself said that when he acts up you know what to do and you do it and he responds. So you are not the type of parent that I am referring to nor the kind of parent the person who started this thread is referring to. You obviously know what to do as a good parent.

I am referring to the parents who do not intervene and discipline their children when they misbehave in public. In the original story in this thread she said that the kid was running amuck all around the restaurant and even took some of her food. Now do you think it is fair for all of these people who are there to enjoy themselves with their families have to suffer like that because some parent does not know how to control their kids?

You are right that I do not know what the problems are with some of these kids and some of their parents. But, whatever the problem is it should be under control. I make sure that my 2 kids are well behaved in public and respect other people when they are out in public. If they get out of control, I immeditaly discipline them, reminding them how to act etc.......So I do know how it is to try to control kids, since kids do get out of control a lot. But, If I am going out of my way to make sure my kids don't bother other people then I expect the same respect in return.

Again, I want to say that i am sorry if I offended you. But, it was not meant towards you nor was it meant to disrespect parents with children with disorders. It was only meant towards parents who do not care enough to control their kids in public.

Originally posted by fionagee
Mommy2NicknMax- thank you for replying to the post from "fairytalelover". I too take exception to this post, but was a bit aprehensive to get involved in a "trans-atlantic argument", as it was my post that she was quoting. I think fairytalelover misunderstood the point I was trying to get across.
I was not saying that every badly behaved child must have, as she said "some kind of disorder". None of my children have a "disorder", but I try to appreciate the position some other families might be in, and I agree with the post from "lisap" that you must concentrate on your own children and worry less about the parenting of others. Of course there are situations when there are displays of bad parenting and times when other peoples children are annoying you, but I think in this day and age you should try to be more tolerant.

Everyone is entitled to take their children out on day trips even if they have a behavioural problem, and most parents will be trying their hardest to parent the child in an apropriate way and trying not to upset others. But there will always be some situations where unfortunately this is not the case.

FIONA

I fully understand what you are saying. And I fully agree that we should be more tolerant of parents with kids with disorders. But I refuse to be tolerant with just bad parents.:)

I have to agree with most everyone in here. There are too many parents out there that don't discipline their children and so the kids take full advantage of being a brate. If you have kids to take care of and or a parent then you hold the responsabilty of controling the childs behavior. So it does not matter where you go, weather it the movies, DL or a day out at the park. No child should be able to get away with such behavior for such a long period of time.
I am so tired of these "Politically Correct Parents" that don't want to yell, spank, or just be plain stern to their children. I was spanked, yelled at and told very sternly by my parents and I don't kill people or get hurt mentally or physically. I never went on Springer. Let's get back to basics of child raising instead of a bunch of push over parents.

And to those of you that have children that are Handicap in some way, then you are the exception.:)

fairytalelover, if I were you I would leave now. You have no idea who you are dealing with. Shut up, go get a cold one and relax. If not, be prepared to duck and ready yourself for some nasty moderator e-mail. I have been there.

Originally posted by TecTalker2K
fairytalelover, if I were you I would leave now. You have no idea who you are dealing with. Shut up, go get a cold one and relax. If not, be prepared to duck and ready yourself for some nasty moderator e-mail. I have been there.

Why would I have to worry about moderator email? I am only expressing my opinion. Obviously others in this thread agreed with me. Regardless, it is still my opinion and I have a right to it just as others have a right to theirs. Why should I shut up?? Is this some kind of fascist discussion board where I have to agree with everyone?? That's ridiculous. I did not personally attack anyone and merely stated my opinion about parents who cannot control their kids.:)

Originally posted by fairytalelover
I did not personally attack anyone and merely stated my opinion about parents who cannot control their kids.:) Don't worry - we're only "fascist" when you don't play by the rules. :cool: If you don't break them, you'll never be on the recieving end of "some nasty moderator e-mail."

AVP

That's exactly why we aren't taking any action with you fairytalelover. Carry on.

[EDIT: AVP is so darn fast. :) ]