Disney Deadhead
08-11-2001, 04:44 PM
Following our visit to sophisticated, ultra clean and shiny Bonfante
Gardens, we took the drive over the hills into Santa Cruz to visit the
by now ancient Beach and Boardwalk.
The area around the Boardwalk is as I remembered it from 20 years ago--a
slum dotted with sleazy motels and populated with dangerous looking
characters. We stayed at a joint right by the river, the Torchlight
Inn. Amazingly cute, with tons of flower filled planters, clean, and
within walking distance of the beach, this place appeared to be run by
some sort of extended hippie family. One girl at the desk at check-in
came complete with dreadlocks, multiple facial and belly piercings, and
a smell of patchouli. This is THE motel for Phish and Deadheads,
apparently. I felt right at home.
Anyway, on to the Boardwalk. I knew I was going to enjoy this place
right off, as the first concession stand I approached featured 24 oz.
cans of Bud. Wanting to fit into the general feeling of a low rent
arrested state of decay, I partook, and continued to do so my entire
visit. Ahhhh....beer, beach, and rides.
The Boardwalk is dominated by the god knows how old Giant Dipper. After
a couple of cans of liquid courage, I was convinced to give it a try.
Hey, this is fun! I didn't need to do it again, but this thing is a
real classic.
They also feature a ton of standard amusement park rides. The
Wavejammer, the Tsunami (Himalaya or Music Express which can now also be ridden at TDS..), an old
Rock-O-Plane, a very old carousel, a Pirate Swing, a ferris wheel, a
Scrambler, some new ride called Tornado (which appeared to be near the
ultimate in spin and spew or twirl and hurls), a Tilt-A-Whirl, Chaos
(like the one that just injured 40 in Michigan), a Crazy Surf, a kiddie
coaster, and a slew of circular kiddie rides. They also have what is
without doubt the ugliest log flume in existence, Logger's Revenge. The
giant green steel superstructure looms over the river area, looking like
part of a derelict oil refinery. Good ride though; the view is great on
the short workup to the drop, and the drop, while not huge, is fast and
wet.
A terribly frightening looking compact coaster called the Hurricane sits
at one end of the Boardwalk, sending riders on a twisting, almost always
sideways trip under and over the pretzel-like tracks. No way I was
getting on that thing.
This place also features my all time favorite standard amusement park
ride, Bumper Cars. We must have ridden this one about 7 or 8
times. There is also a pale imitation of a Flying Saucers ride called
Space Race 2000. It's an indoor, air driven bumper car deal that
doesn't pack much of a punch.
Unlike most parks these days (except for Disney) Santa Cruz still has
dark rides; 3 of them in fact. One I remembered from my childhood and
was surprised to find it rehabbed, updated, and looking good. The Cave
Train sits in area below many of the kiddie rides by the river. The
facade features steam spewing volcanoes, a waterfall, and a giant green
cartoony dinosaur head peeking over the mountain. Inside, the ride
traces the vacations of the population of Cave Rock City. Think
Flintstones, without the Flintstones. They go to the beach, to an
amusement park, have a picnic, get drunk in a bar, and generally cause
mischief and look silly. This is kiddie friendly, and has a couple of
neat effects besides the blacklights and dayglo paint. The rotating
barrel tunnel, a spitting dino, and the clunky, chunky cavemen are
absolutely hysterical after a day of 24 oz Buds.
Another oldie is the Haunted Castle. This is a real old fashioned spook
house, complete with lunging spiders, tortured women, and bloody
skulls. Oh, and of course the rotating barrel tunnel. This one was a
real riot as the thing broke down while we were in the queue, and the
suspiciously Doom Buggy-like appearing vehicles would exit the door and
proceed to crash into each other over and over again while the Russian
speaking teenage girl ride operator tried repeatedly to reach someone on
the phone. Finally they began loading again, and a very attractive
teenage girl who was about to get on with her very attractive teenage
girlfriends unleashed a very loud and very unfeminine spew of puke right
at the load point. She was hustled out of line, yet no one arrived to
sop up the mess. We gingerly stepped over the beer and cotton candy
concoction into our vehicle and demanded we be allowed to go around
twice. No problem, said the Russian girl. That's what "NYET" means,
right?
The 3rd dark ride is Ghost Blasters, a Men in Black/Buzz Lightyear sort
of thing. Well....
A Sally Corp. offering, you shoot light guns at targets in the ride, and
almost every hit triggers some sort of animated action. It's flats and
sets as opposed to figures, but is very colorful and a lot of fun. I
let the 10 year old win once, than after that the gloves came off and I
annihilated her.
Another highlight is the Skyride. Unlike DL's old bucket contraptions,
this is a ski lift type of thing, where your feet dangle. The view at
night is spectacular, as the Boardwalk is covered with crazy blinking
and flashing carny lights. Also don't miss sneaking away to the beach
for a walk, a smoke if that's your thing, and a look back at all the
lights. Tremendous.
This place is loaded with games, arcades, even Skeeball and
Fascination. This is where most of our money went, as nightime is
apparently free; no one ever asked for a ticket or a look at a
wristband. I thought that was quite a deal. Food is plentiful, and
they have every kind of disgusting yet tasty park junk food one could
imagine.
Unlike the crazy quilt of height and age requirements at Bonfante's, the
Boardwalk pretty much lets anybody ride anything they want any way they
want to. They have signs, but no one enforced anything. The crowds
alone are reason enough to visit. What a mixture: pierced, filthy
local hippies, families of bikers, Mexican gang members, old folks,
black gang members, large numbers of what appeared to be Indians and
Pakistanis in their colorful garb, and even a few bland suburban looking
folks. There were lots and lots of teenage and early 20's females
wearing those cutoff belly shirts with crack hugging daisy dukes. Some
of them were getting quite a bit of attention from some of the surlier
looking male visitors.
All in all, a wonderful place to visit. I recommend it heartily for
those who appreciate cheese, tack, and don't mind mingling with the po'
folk. Just get your kids out of there by 9pm. If not for them, do it
so you can enjoy the last two hours of park operations unfettered by
setting the example of correct public behavior.
Gardens, we took the drive over the hills into Santa Cruz to visit the
by now ancient Beach and Boardwalk.
The area around the Boardwalk is as I remembered it from 20 years ago--a
slum dotted with sleazy motels and populated with dangerous looking
characters. We stayed at a joint right by the river, the Torchlight
Inn. Amazingly cute, with tons of flower filled planters, clean, and
within walking distance of the beach, this place appeared to be run by
some sort of extended hippie family. One girl at the desk at check-in
came complete with dreadlocks, multiple facial and belly piercings, and
a smell of patchouli. This is THE motel for Phish and Deadheads,
apparently. I felt right at home.
Anyway, on to the Boardwalk. I knew I was going to enjoy this place
right off, as the first concession stand I approached featured 24 oz.
cans of Bud. Wanting to fit into the general feeling of a low rent
arrested state of decay, I partook, and continued to do so my entire
visit. Ahhhh....beer, beach, and rides.
The Boardwalk is dominated by the god knows how old Giant Dipper. After
a couple of cans of liquid courage, I was convinced to give it a try.
Hey, this is fun! I didn't need to do it again, but this thing is a
real classic.
They also feature a ton of standard amusement park rides. The
Wavejammer, the Tsunami (Himalaya or Music Express which can now also be ridden at TDS..), an old
Rock-O-Plane, a very old carousel, a Pirate Swing, a ferris wheel, a
Scrambler, some new ride called Tornado (which appeared to be near the
ultimate in spin and spew or twirl and hurls), a Tilt-A-Whirl, Chaos
(like the one that just injured 40 in Michigan), a Crazy Surf, a kiddie
coaster, and a slew of circular kiddie rides. They also have what is
without doubt the ugliest log flume in existence, Logger's Revenge. The
giant green steel superstructure looms over the river area, looking like
part of a derelict oil refinery. Good ride though; the view is great on
the short workup to the drop, and the drop, while not huge, is fast and
wet.
A terribly frightening looking compact coaster called the Hurricane sits
at one end of the Boardwalk, sending riders on a twisting, almost always
sideways trip under and over the pretzel-like tracks. No way I was
getting on that thing.
This place also features my all time favorite standard amusement park
ride, Bumper Cars. We must have ridden this one about 7 or 8
times. There is also a pale imitation of a Flying Saucers ride called
Space Race 2000. It's an indoor, air driven bumper car deal that
doesn't pack much of a punch.
Unlike most parks these days (except for Disney) Santa Cruz still has
dark rides; 3 of them in fact. One I remembered from my childhood and
was surprised to find it rehabbed, updated, and looking good. The Cave
Train sits in area below many of the kiddie rides by the river. The
facade features steam spewing volcanoes, a waterfall, and a giant green
cartoony dinosaur head peeking over the mountain. Inside, the ride
traces the vacations of the population of Cave Rock City. Think
Flintstones, without the Flintstones. They go to the beach, to an
amusement park, have a picnic, get drunk in a bar, and generally cause
mischief and look silly. This is kiddie friendly, and has a couple of
neat effects besides the blacklights and dayglo paint. The rotating
barrel tunnel, a spitting dino, and the clunky, chunky cavemen are
absolutely hysterical after a day of 24 oz Buds.
Another oldie is the Haunted Castle. This is a real old fashioned spook
house, complete with lunging spiders, tortured women, and bloody
skulls. Oh, and of course the rotating barrel tunnel. This one was a
real riot as the thing broke down while we were in the queue, and the
suspiciously Doom Buggy-like appearing vehicles would exit the door and
proceed to crash into each other over and over again while the Russian
speaking teenage girl ride operator tried repeatedly to reach someone on
the phone. Finally they began loading again, and a very attractive
teenage girl who was about to get on with her very attractive teenage
girlfriends unleashed a very loud and very unfeminine spew of puke right
at the load point. She was hustled out of line, yet no one arrived to
sop up the mess. We gingerly stepped over the beer and cotton candy
concoction into our vehicle and demanded we be allowed to go around
twice. No problem, said the Russian girl. That's what "NYET" means,
right?
The 3rd dark ride is Ghost Blasters, a Men in Black/Buzz Lightyear sort
of thing. Well....
A Sally Corp. offering, you shoot light guns at targets in the ride, and
almost every hit triggers some sort of animated action. It's flats and
sets as opposed to figures, but is very colorful and a lot of fun. I
let the 10 year old win once, than after that the gloves came off and I
annihilated her.
Another highlight is the Skyride. Unlike DL's old bucket contraptions,
this is a ski lift type of thing, where your feet dangle. The view at
night is spectacular, as the Boardwalk is covered with crazy blinking
and flashing carny lights. Also don't miss sneaking away to the beach
for a walk, a smoke if that's your thing, and a look back at all the
lights. Tremendous.
This place is loaded with games, arcades, even Skeeball and
Fascination. This is where most of our money went, as nightime is
apparently free; no one ever asked for a ticket or a look at a
wristband. I thought that was quite a deal. Food is plentiful, and
they have every kind of disgusting yet tasty park junk food one could
imagine.
Unlike the crazy quilt of height and age requirements at Bonfante's, the
Boardwalk pretty much lets anybody ride anything they want any way they
want to. They have signs, but no one enforced anything. The crowds
alone are reason enough to visit. What a mixture: pierced, filthy
local hippies, families of bikers, Mexican gang members, old folks,
black gang members, large numbers of what appeared to be Indians and
Pakistanis in their colorful garb, and even a few bland suburban looking
folks. There were lots and lots of teenage and early 20's females
wearing those cutoff belly shirts with crack hugging daisy dukes. Some
of them were getting quite a bit of attention from some of the surlier
looking male visitors.
All in all, a wonderful place to visit. I recommend it heartily for
those who appreciate cheese, tack, and don't mind mingling with the po'
folk. Just get your kids out of there by 9pm. If not for them, do it
so you can enjoy the last two hours of park operations unfettered by
setting the example of correct public behavior.