Kids in Reality Shows

[mom22gls]

It's been big national news, in the last few weeks, about what is going on with the marriage of Jon and Kate. It can't be good for the kids, who never signed on to have cameras set up in their house, for months on end. On "The View," they brought up a good point. Child actors have statutory protection, at least in California, where most scripted shows are filmed, and they can't be forced to work long hours. They also have their earnings protected. Most scripted shows are either filmed in LA or NY, although movies, and parts of some shows are filmed other places. A few shows, such as Oprah, are based in other cities. Reality shows, however, are a whole different matter. The kids are not considered "actors," and, therefore, are not covered by statutes, or by union contracts. They are filmed all over the country. Jon and Kate live in a semi-rural area in central PA. Nobody would watch a show with just Jon and Kate, so, obviously, their children are an inherent part of the show. Presumably, the children don't have personal agents or guardians, making sure that their own interests are protected. They are basically being forced to live in front of the cameras. It should be a matter of concern when very young children have no say in the fact that their tempur tantrums, potty training mishaps, etc. are documented for all times, and sold on DVDs. Their parents may justify this, by reasoning that the money goes to the kids' benefit, because they live in a bigger house, maybe some money is going to college funds, but is it worth the cost of a lack of privacy, and, basically, telling the kids, they have no right to set boundaries for themselves. It would not be a matter for federal control, but should a state base a statute, based on one show, or situation? Reality shows are fleeting things, and don't lend themselves to unions. What should the ethics be, for kids under the age of 10, to set up cameras in the home, for prolonged periods?

[3894]

I don't think children should be on reality shows. Period.

Until there are laws, we should stop watching "John and Kate" and any other reality show with kids. Don't buy the tabloids when these shows are on the cover.

[Jim Dear and Darling]

I don't think children should be on reality shows. Period.

Until there are laws, we should stop watching "John and Kate" and any other reality show with kids. Don't buy the tabloids when these shows are on the cover.

Amen.

I had never watched that show and happened to catch a glimpse of it on Monday. TLC was in the background, and they were doing some kind of marathon of it, and since it has been in the tabloids, I sat down and watched it for a few minutes.

Those kids are definitely being exploited. Both parents are self-absorbed, egotistical, and completely narcissistic. Even at their kid's birthday party, Kate is talking about "Me, me me me me" every time she opens her mouth. They were fighting over who got to tear open the piniata. It was insane.

When they started talking about the difficulties in their marriage, I felt like I was watching something I shouldn't be, and I turned it off, disgusted. I will not be watching that show. Ever.

[mom22gls]

Maybe we should let TLC know how we feel about it, and perhaps, their advertisors. She's been on, yet another, book tour, which takes her away from the kids for long periods. I can't imagine what words of wisdom she has for those of us who, actually, parent our kids, on a consistent basis. I caught a few minutes of their interview the other day, and she insisted that this was her "job." Uh, I thought her job was nurse. She could do that job, if she decided to work outside of the home, and could, almost certainly, manage to be home to help the older kids with their homework, and tuck the little ones in at night. Obviously, they could not afford a million dollar house (which is way higher than the market in that area), but I imagine they would get a lot more help from family, friends, and neighbors, if they lost the cameras around the house. I know a family who lives in that area (who wanted a larger house for their three kids, but needed to basically trade their middle-class house closer to the city for more house and land), and I'll have to ask them how the community is affected by their fame.

[adriennek]

I used to watch the show. I won't watch it ever again.

Ev-VER.

I feel deceived and I'm annoyed by that.

But. Most of all, I have no respect for Kate. I can't find an ounce of it. Not One Ounce.

If IF IF IF there was THAT MUCH trouble in my marriage, I can tell you one thing: I would not be on TV or in a magazine or in a theater full of people TALKNG ABOUT IT. I would be home. In a counselor's office. With my husband. And any and all television cameras would be expelled from my home.

It's called: Priorities. And the money ain't it. I don't care HOW MUCH it costs to have 8 kids. Nope. Not.At.All.

Adrienne

[cheshirecatgirl]

I agree. I read this article in an entertainment magazine that talked on and on about Jon going out with so and so all the time and Kate's off on a book tour. Not one word about where the kids are and who is with them. I thought, hello, who is taking care of the kids? Are they not way more important than anything else?

Anyway, I have seen maybe two episodes, and the show itself seems pretty pointless. Is it showing normal family life with 8 kids? Maybe, but a lot of it seemed kind of staged and was mostly Kate talking about how hard this or that is, or how she hates messes or how much stricter she is than Jon. Blah blah blah. I mean, I get that 8 kids is a lot, and it's not easy, but I don't think being on TV is going to make it easier!

Should I ever end up with 8 kids, I think I can handle it. After all, I have spent years with 20 four year olds in my classes everyday! I know it's not the same as having them at home, but you do learn crowd control and how to keep a big group engaged and entertained and learning all at once!

And I definitely would not have video cameras following us around. Not only do I value my privacy, but imagine in ten years, those poor kids will have to deal with people knowing how many tantrums they threw at age three or all that other stuff people mentioned. It is especially not fair since they had no say in being on camera.

[mom22gls]

I'm sure it was very challenging when the kids were babies, and toddlers, and it's probably a bit easier now that they are more independent, and don't have to have diapers changes, and be watched every second. With two older, school-aged kids, they must have some clue how busy it is when children have school activities. My fifth grader is not even into sports, and she often has to be someplace, or stay late at school for an activity, several times a week. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when all of them have softball games, scout meetings, and other after-school activities, all at the same time. Plus helping kids with homework that can be quite complicated? If they alienate their neighbors and families, they won't get help, when they really need it. It would be extremely helpful if another neighbor offered to take their kid with them to a mutual activity, so that the parent only has to figure out how to be at two other places, at the same time. I've only seen the show a few times, but I don't recall a lot of involvement from their families. Probably because nobody else can do anything right in her eyes, even if they successfully raised kids and ran a household, and she's too critical. I imagine that families of multiples get lots of help in the beginning, when there is the novelty of cuddling the babies, and the parents are grateful for any help. Are the neighbors, friends, and church members still going to be around, when the kids are not so cuddly, and family life is busier than ever?

[mom22gls]

I used to watch the show. I won't watch it ever again.

Ev-VER.

I feel deceived and I'm annoyed by that.

But. Most of all, I have no respect for Kate. I can't find an ounce of it. Not One Ounce.

If IF IF IF there was THAT MUCH trouble in my marriage, I can tell you one thing: I would not be on TV or in a magazine or in a theater full of people TALKNG ABOUT IT. I would be home. In a counselor's office. With my husband. And any and all television cameras would be expelled from my home.

It's called: Priorities. And the money ain't it. I don't care HOW MUCH it costs to have 8 kids. Nope. Not.At.All.

Adrienne

How about a team approach-a marriage counselor, their minister or priest (do they still go to church?), and representatives from each family? I caught a promo last night, while watching What Not To Wear, and she's off to Baltimore to make her birthday cake at Charm City Cakes. Yet another "created" family excursion. Remember the ski trip to Utah? In the real world, if you wanted to take your kids skiiing, and you live in Central PA, you just drive no more than two hours, to a resort in the Poconos for a day trip.

[3894]

Yet another "created" family excursion.

Flash forward a few decades when these kids realize all their childhood memories were stunts for the camera.

[mom22gls]

The PA Dept. of Labor is apparently investigating, to determine if they broke child labor laws. Good.

[RockDoc07]

DW and I are not quite "obsessed" with this show but we do TiVO it to make sure we watch. She just bought her mom seasons 1 and 2 on DVD for Mother's Day. So needless to say, we always enjoyed it. As a teacher and a pediatrics resident, we liked watching the kids interact and seeing how they grew, etc etc.

Last week's premiere episode was VERY difficult to watch. It was painful, and I hope that tonight is not more of the same.

I totally agree with other posters who are saying that if their marriage was in trouble they would not be out on a book tour or going wherever or having people film and document this.

On last week's episode, you could hear legitimate resentment and detest in the voices of both parents. It also sounded to me through some context clues like Jon might not be living at home right now. So who knows.

Where this show went wrong was when the children started growing up, which was of course inevitable but handled very poorly. The show was appealing originally because it was the everyman story (albeit the everyman with 8 kids). But it was the everyman story, diaper changes, toilet training, etc. Now it's press box seats to Sesame Street Live and meeting characters afterward, front-row seats for the Globetrotters, a personal trip to Charm City Cakes (which is not around the corner for them in Baltimore I believe, and also, the cakes there are not cheap), and of course, the 1 hour special documenting their trip to the Magic Kingdom where they had some nice little perks. I just don't think people see this as appealing anymore. I do unfortunately think that the fame has gone to her head much more than this, and I just feel that if they didn't do the show anymore she wouldn't know what to do with herself. I do hope they right their ship, and we really are rooting for them, but we'll see what happens.

Cool Runnings
Doc

[adriennek]

Now it's press box seats to Sesame Street Live and meeting characters afterward, front-row seats for the Globetrotters, a personal trip to Charm City Cakes (which is not around the corner for them in Baltimore I believe, and also, the cakes there are not cheap), and of course, the 1 hour special documenting their trip to the Magic Kingdom where they had some nice little perks. I just don't think people see this as appealing anymore. I do unfortunately think that the fame has gone to her head much more than this, and I just feel that if they didn't do the show anymore she wouldn't know what to do with herself. I do hope they right their ship, and we really are rooting for them, but we'll see what happens.

I think this hits a lot of nails on the head. And I think these are a lot of the reasons I won't be watching the show anymore. She feels sorry for herself because she has to make her own birthday cake... (Sorry, when I saw the promo with that, it just felt really whiny to me.) Wow. A trip to Charm City Cakes. And the way, in the promo, that they say "The kids have a surprise for her..." What? Eight 5 and 8 year olds arranged a trip to Charm City Cakes? Sure they didn't.

The story would have worked fine if they had the kids make a cake with dad - or the nanny. Or bought plain decorated cupcakes at the grocery store and the kids put sprinkles on them themselves. Or have the kids decorate the house and make cards for mom.

I don't know. Like I said, these observations are spot on: " I just don't think people see this as appealing anymore. I do unfortunately think that the fame has gone to her head much more than this"

Adrienne

[Malcon10t]

I will be honest, she reminds me of my SIL (the one whose son we AREN"t taking to DL...) You don't have to have 8 kids to be whiny PITA. I don't enjoy being with my SIL all that much, why would I want to watch that on TV??

[mom22gls]

I think that, initially, this show, like quite a few others on TLC, was intended to be instructive on how an individual or family with an unusual challenge, navigates the world. Little People, Big World was educational in that respect, at least in the first few seasons. We learned how they live independently, in a world designed for average-sized adults, which I found interesting, and I thought it was a good thing. There have been other shows involving multiple births, but I think this one has gone above and beyond the others, in that their "reality" has changed, so radically, and in ways that are not relevant to the, initial, message. When she complained about making her own birthday cake, I thought, just like me and 99% of the rest of the moms in America. Of course, the expected alternative, would be the kids and/or Dad making the cake, or just buying one at a local bakery, but that doesn't make as good TV, as plugging a famous cake decorator (from another network). They have nothing more to teach me, and I'll be taking my limited TV watching time, elsewhere.

[Crazy4DL]

Multiple births have always fascinated me. I remember looking at a spoon set my mom had with one of the Dionne quintuplets (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionne_quintuplets)on each spoon and just being so amazing that 5 little baby girls had all been born at once. When I was older and read about how sad their childhood in the spotlight had been I was heartbroken.

I happened to catch the Jon and Kate Plus 8 story back when I think it was just a documentary of sorts. I watched what I thought was an amazing young couple coping with all these babies. I missed tons of their shows since I am not much of a TV watcher but would catch up every once in while by catching a Jon and Kate Plus 8 marathon when I was too lazy to do anything else. So I have more or less followed the story.

However, watching this family come unraveled and the knowledge of what those poor little adorable kids have to be going through made me come to the conclusion last week that I will not contribute to that sadness by watching the show. From this point on I plan to do what I did with Octomom - refuse to be a part of the problem.

[Lani]

If you think that's bad, I read this morning that Octomom has signed a deal for her own reality show. Eeeeeek. :eek:

[Lani]

I think I have a solution. When Discovery or any of those networks signs a deal, they need to make it a limited package series. Like "This show will last 3 season."

[Crazy4DL]

Thinking of the Dionne quints got me doing some more reading on them. (http://www.isntlifeterrible.com/2008/01/dionnes-part-3.html)The clip of all the people running to watch the five little girls play made tears come to my eyes. In those days people had to travel to watch 5 little girls' lives be paraded out for all to watch now all we have to do is turn on our tv's to watch 8 little kids have their lives paraded out for the entire world to watch. :crying:

:eek: on the Octomom reality show!

[Jim Dear and Darling]

If you think that's bad, I read this morning that Octomom has signed a deal for her own reality show. Eeeeeek. :eek:

Oh, Dear God.

[mom22gls]

If you think that's bad, I read this morning that Octomom has signed a deal for her own reality show. Eeeeeek. :eek:

I believe only a British network will be airing it, and no US networks have signed on.

[VickiC]

I have never watched this show, but I just caught a promo this weekend and WHAT IS UP WITH HER HAIR? Did she let two different stylists loose on the front and back?

[stan4d_steph]

I have never watched this show, but I just caught a promo this weekend and WHAT IS UP WITH HER HAIR? Did she let two different stylists loose on the front and back?It's the new style to have your hair look like a turkey.

[Jim Dear and Darling]

It's the new style to have your hair look like a turkey.

It's a reverse mullet. ;)

[Meisha B]

I have been reading about the Dionne quints and it's CRAZY what a show they had to put on and that the goverment took them away.

Then I started thinking, a lot of people wanted OctoMom's kids to be taken away. But, I guess that OctoMom and the Dionne's definitely lived in different times and the Dionne's were natural and married and all of that.

As far as OctoMom having her own show...I can't stand her or anything about her....she grosses me out, but at the same time, I am intrigued. I don't know if I would watch it if it aired here or not...I probably would and then talk about it the next day.

[Alex S.]

I don't think children should be on reality shows. Period.

The problem as I see it is that this is a very hard line to draw. Game shows generally fall into the reality TV area. Is the high school tournament for Jeopardy in or out? How about babies-eating-birthday-cake videos on Funniest Home Videos? How about a 16-part PBS "year in the life" documentary on special education programs at a charter school?

I think we all agree that at some point it is exploitative but how is that line drawn? Compensation? Is putting a child on TV like prostitution in that it is wrong to sell that which can be given for free?

I've watched very interesting and non-exploitative TV shows exploring the lives of children or families. Jon and Kate (I've never watched more than a few minutes and most of my exposure to it comes from The Soup) may manipulate the experiences the family gets to have but isn't putting them into competition or (intentionally) conflict, are they?

I've seen the same group of septuplets on the Today Show over the years as they grow up, at what point does that examination and attention become exploitative? Every year, every month, every day, continuously?

I don't mean this post to be argumenative with what you said, 3894, more ruminative. I've so often seen kids or situations being exploited on TV (while I am glad if they get help but I just can't watch shows like Intervention because that shouldn't be offered for my edutainment) and said "ooh, that shouldn't be allowed!" But I've never been able to figure out just how I'd draw the line.